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AIBU?

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Original poster

My mind has actually been blown...

60 replies

lanbro · 02/08/2025 17:28

Saw my dsis yesterday, her xp, df of her child, is looking after his work friend's 2yo for a fortnight whilst her dps holiday alone....

Xp is dropping his own dd at nursery, friend's dd at her nursery in the opposite direction, then going to work, and obviously reverse at the end of the day.

Xp is a people pleaser, likely didn't know how to say no, but admits the toddler doesn't seem to have a clue what's going on

AIBU that you don't ask a work friend to look after your toddler for 2 weeks whilst you holiday without them? Not a funeral, a wedding, a long weekend, a necessary work trip, but a 2 week adult only pleasure holiday?! Mind. Blown that people think this is ok?!

OP posts:
Dontlletmedownbruce · 03/08/2025 08:03

I wouldn't leave my toddler for 2 weeks but I'd have been delighted to hand them over for a long weekend! I'd be a bit jealous that people have that option. Many friends do favours like this for each other, they obviously are close and I'm sure there will be a quid pro quo, I don't get people's concerns in that regard.

My friend and her DH went on a weeks holiday and left a 12 week old with family. That shocked me, genuinely, and I'm very much in favour of people with children having their own social lives usually.

Dogaredabomb · 03/08/2025 08:03

Poor child, when my eldest was two he was meant to spend 4 weeks with his Dad (divorced, different country). He was so distressed at being away from me that his Dad brought him back early.

This was despite being with his father, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and in a familar house! I still feel guilty.

The parents are cruel and selfish.

beAsensible1 · 03/08/2025 08:00

Being colleagues donee t mean they’re also not friends.

some of my closeted friends are people I’ve been colleagues with. I think 2 weeks is a bit long for a toddler but as someone said we don’t know the ins and outs so meh.

Zanatdy · 03/08/2025 07:56

Absolutely very strange to leave your toddler with a work colleague for 2wks. Not a chance in hell i’d have done that. I am a people pleaser but no way would I have agreed to 2wks looking after a colleagues child.

LegalllyBrunette · 03/08/2025 07:55

It is odd and I don't know if anyone doing that but it sounds like they are friends rather than just colleagues.

ButterCrackers · 03/08/2025 07:54

It’s usual in other cultures/countries to leave the kids, potty trained age upwards, with the grandparents for the whole summer holidays. The parents stay a week to drop the kids off and then return to collect staying a few days. Here the op explains that it’s with a friend of the family so it might be that the friend is like family. Perhaps they will share the childcare.

SweatyBettyAgain · 03/08/2025 07:49

LividSquidward · 02/08/2025 17:37

I'd say dropping a 2yo with a random man was a safeguarding mega risk and I'd be reporting it.

This.

FenderStrat · 03/08/2025 07:47

LividSquidward · 03/08/2025 07:35

When women commit violence at the same rate as men your argument would be valid.

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Oh yeah. You're using that.

LividSquidward · 03/08/2025 07:35

FenderStrat · 03/08/2025 07:34

What if it was a woman?

Show quote history

When women commit violence at the same rate as men your argument would be valid.

FenderStrat · 03/08/2025 07:34

LividSquidward · 02/08/2025 17:37

I'd say dropping a 2yo with a random man was a safeguarding mega risk and I'd be reporting it.

What if it was a woman?

WonderingWanda · 03/08/2025 07:32

I'm always a but astonished (and maybe slightly jealous) at the parents who go on holiday without their kids (usually leaving kids with grandparents).

MikeRafone · 03/08/2025 07:29

Cinaferna · 03/08/2025 07:25

I wouldn't trust anyone who leaves a toddler for two weeks with a stranger.

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You spend more time each week with a work colleague than you do friends, hardly a stranger

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 03/08/2025 07:28

BallerinaRadio · 03/08/2025 06:39

If you're so sure it's not a safe guarding issue then what's your big drama?

It's odd you're coming on here desperate for people to judge this parenting when you have no safe guarding concerns or even know the people involved

It’s not about being a safeguarding concern, it’s about dumping a very young child on a friend for two weeks while you piss off on holiday. I’m baffled that anyone would think that was a reasonable thing to do. If you want two week childfree holidays, don’t have children. That’s a very long time for a child that young to be without parents. In an emergency fine, but two weeks for a holiday for goodness sake!

Cinaferna · 03/08/2025 07:25

Bread121bread · 02/08/2025 17:40

I would assume he wanted the child's parent for something. Is a promotion coming up? Or is he after something else?

It would be great if he did it out of kindness. I would just worry, that he is planning on doing the reverse. And let them look after your niece. But then I suppose the father would vet them and only leave his children with people he trust.

I wouldn't trust anyone who leaves a toddler for two weeks with a stranger.

x2boys · 03/08/2025 07:23

Driftingawaynow · 02/08/2025 18:22

I think your average social worker would at the minimum be concerned about this. Poor kid. 2 weeks! They sound like utterly shite parents

Why?

BabyCatFace · 03/08/2025 07:22

Driftingawaynow · 02/08/2025 18:22

I think your average social worker would at the minimum be concerned about this. Poor kid. 2 weeks! They sound like utterly shite parents

Average social worker here - no we wouldn't. Parents are allowed to leave their kids with trusted friends while they go on holiday. It certainly wouldn't be my parenting style but social workers aren't there to intervene in questionable parenting choices, only where a significant level of harm is evidenced. This is not that.

x2boys · 03/08/2025 07:22

Bread121bread · 02/08/2025 17:40

I would assume he wanted the child's parent for something. Is a promotion coming up? Or is he after something else?

It would be great if he did it out of kindness. I would just worry, that he is planning on doing the reverse. And let them look after your niece. But then I suppose the father would vet them and only leave his children with people he trust.

Obviously it's got to be his fault 🙄

Cucy · 03/08/2025 07:17

They are CFs and not great parents.

I’d feel incredibly guilty leaving someone else to take care of my toddler for 2 weeks.

Some parents do just put their own needs (or wants) before their kids.

BallerinaRadio · 03/08/2025 06:39

If you're so sure it's not a safe guarding issue then what's your big drama?

It's odd you're coming on here desperate for people to judge this parenting when you have no safe guarding concerns or even know the people involved

Original poster
lanbro · 03/08/2025 06:02

I don't think for one second it's a safe guarding issue, the child will be well looked after.

My mind is blown that a couple would choose to holiday without their child for 2 weeks, leaving said child with friends...! I couldn't understand a weekend for a child free wedding, or in an emergency, but in this scenario? Nope!

OP posts:
VioletandDill · 02/08/2025 18:22

I should imagine there's a back story there you're not privy to. The child is with a responsible adult. They must be friends.

Driftingawaynow · 02/08/2025 18:22

I think your average social worker would at the minimum be concerned about this. Poor kid. 2 weeks! They sound like utterly shite parents

Bodypumpmum · 02/08/2025 18:18

What kind of parents holiday without their young child. How utterly selfish!

TempestTost · 02/08/2025 18:13

I would have to be in desperate straits to leave a toddler for two weeks with any person that they were not already close to.

Member869894 · 02/08/2025 18:12

This is not a safeguarding concern FFS