To stop letting my friend’s child come over because he eats so much?

I never refused to feed that age group but usually they were invite, didn't just appear unannounced. School dinners weren't always that generous and kids are complete hoovers sometimes. Better than being picky.

One of my daughter's friends came from a poor background (daughter went round to the friend's once and dinner was a cup a soup and a slice of white bread, no wonder the kid devoured everything put in front of her at ours).

In this instance, does the kid get fed properly at school, does your child get invited round there?

The kid might be starved/ neglected at home and the people on here are wanting to limit his visits to his friends house because he’s hungry!

He’s probably starving. Toast and a piece of fruit should do it. Have a meal after he’s picked up. Or suck up the extra cost of some pasta and whatever salad or veg you have with it.

Crackers, cereal bars, put them in another (higher) drawer or cupboard. My guess, he’s not allowed or has no access to them at home.

So the birds don't even come to your house either?!😂 How sad. 🐥🐦🐦🐤

Well I'm not offering extrafatfat portions,no.

I don't understand why he couldn't eat at home.

I find the whole of this situation rather strange tbh. So you have a 7 year old child come to your house from school 3 x a week from school and feed them (not just a snack). But you dont appear to know much about his parents/family?
How did this situation occur? I kind of feel like your being taken advantage of but the child's parent. Are you being paid to look after him?

Just offer healthy food and try to suss out if he is genuinely not getting enough.

As a mother of a kid who would possibly eat 10 portions in a friends house I would urge you to just say no, but I think you need to talk to him first. Casually bring it up about portion sizes and food etc. and see what's really happening.

my DS will always say he is hungry, my heart sinks when a friends parent tells me he kept asking for more so they kept giving him more. I dont want to embarrass him by saying he is greedy, but he is, and worryingly so. Only the other day a nice mum let them make brownies and when I asked if he ate too much she laughed and said he had ate most of the mixture raw. He has no off switch and is prone to gaining weight and it worries me that he will gain more access to food the more independence he gains.

you are being used for free childcare and covering nearly 50% of his dinners every single week so id put a stop to that! Send him home for dinner and maybe give a couple of biscuits from cheap range when they get home from school and say that’s it and he doesn’t want to spoil his dinner when he gets home and be FIRM!! Don’t let him go in your cupboard or help himself and if he keeps asking for food say he’d better go home then as he’s clearly ready for his dinner. Put it back onto his own mother to deal with

I would let school know. It maybe he isn't eating his lunch at school, maybe arriving at school hungry. If you can't afford to feed him say you can't have him after school/stay for tea. Personally if I can afford to feed him I would fill him up because it maybe the only time he gets to be full up. Have you approached his parent/guardian with how healthy his appetite is?

"your portion size".

Don't get many people coming round for dinner at yours I imagine.

I would provide cheaper, simpler food and if you need fo limit it, say so.

I wouldn’t like to say no to a child who was genuinely hungry but it does sound like you’re getting out of pocket.

Ah. The weekly "big fat kids who eat and eat" thread. Who is going to do the "greedy bastard husband eats all my sweets thread"?

OP if you're a real person. And that's a big if, feed the kid if he's hungry. If you're on the breadline and can't afford a giant bag of pasta from ASDA for 2 quid you probably shouldn't be inviting people over. If you can't tell a child "no" you probably shouldn't be asking them over either.

As for those who thinks you shouldn't get food in for visiting children, what's wrong with you? Who doesn't feed guests and get food in when they know they will be in at mealtimes?

It might be that he's asking because when he does he is offered something he considers a treat.

I usually do something like pasta or fish fingers and beans, and without fail he’ll ask for seconds, sometimes thirds. Then pudding. Last week he had three bowls of pasta and then asked if we had any cake.
That does not sound like a child who knows when he's had enough.

Your house, your rules, your portion sizes.

If your DS is satisfied after one bowl and you don't want to keep serving endless portions and snacks to somebody else's kid, then just say no.
" That's all for today, off you go and play"

Unless there are serious concerns about his welfare, why on earth would OP be obligated to pander to his demands?

On the flip side, I know a couple who are essentially looking after some children part time, after their mother left them in the care of their father, but it started much earlier that she was neglectful and didn’t feed them.
They are not related, and now have to spend a considerable sum , as well as time and effort looking after these children.

I would feed him op but not snacks as they are expensive. If I noticed avery hungry kid coming over I would give him toast and peanut butter and a banana on arrival and then a huge bucket of pasta and pasta sauce for dinner followed by a tower fo digestive biscuits. You never know what’s going on at home op and those foods twice a week won’t break the bank.

Surely adding "lots of tomatoes , beef mince, basil, and onions" to Bolognese is just making more Bolognese?

I agree, Shereally likes, spag bol always goes down well and other pasta dishes (eg lasagne), with meat, fish or even veg if you make a nice sauce.

Cottage and shepherd's pie are also popular.

Jacket potatoes with a variety of fillings.

Bangers and mash. Ham, egg and chips.

Puddings: strawberries are good at the moment with cream or ice cream.
Crumbles are easy to make. Baked apples are lovely.

Ah, I feed a herd of kids regularly and I find things like pancakes, cheap pasta sauces (home made), soups are good. I also stopped buying Nutella for them and got the own brand stuff in lidl, basic brand honey etc. I still have the regular stuff just save it for my kids tbh. I'm not badly off but as you say, it's really expensive - I am feeding 2 - 3 extra kids a day, plus my own two who do sport so have appetites like crazy.

I'd say basic brand items, some cheap bulk pasta meals (I have a handful that are very cheap to make and I freeze portions) etc. I couldn't not feed a child personally unless there was a health issue and the parent asked me to refrain.

Edit spelling phone autocorrected 😅

Our girls were friends with neighbouring girls, two from different families, they always loved to stay for dinner and spaghetti bolognaise was really popular, it seemed like it was every week.
I add lots of tomatoes , beef mince, basil, and onions. And it was possibly served with grated cheeses, as mine all like that too.

Occasionally I had to swap the beef mince for Quorn mince, if I had no meat available, non of them minded at all.

If my girls ever went to their houses, they might get plain pasta and butter, which I thought an odd thing to give anyone, the other family might add smiley faces, which I also regarded as an odd food choice for teen girls.

One of the girls did suffer badly with anorexia as she got older, and I think her family was quite restrictive in the food they could eat.

I’d do as other say, have cheap bulky food available, toast, marmite or fruit jam, baked beans, pasta and cheese, so at least they may be well fed at your house

Does your DS go to his house 2 days a week too? If he always comes to yours can see why this would be annoying/too much. Would just rein it back, be nice but firm and he will understand. I think it's the fear of sending a child home hungry!

I'd also quietly alert his school about your concerns

A hungry child is a hungry child…. 😔 Like others, I would be worried that he’s not being fed enough at home. Perhaps some gentle, very open ended questions might be an idea….

Why don’t you plan on making a bulky but inexpensive meal on the days he comes round. Like massive pot of pasta and pesto and broccoli/cheese etc. We’re talking about maybe only 50p a portion. I would agree that eating lots of individual, expensive (and often not very filling) supermarket style snacks is irritating, but if he’s hungry for a proper meal then I do think you should feed him - even though it’s obviously not your responsibility…. You never know how much you might be helping him.

He sounds like some children in my school who are definitely not getting enough food at home.

Can you keep a loaf of bread for toast with butter/jam on permanent offer if anyone's still hungry? Or buy big, inexpensive bags of pasta and offer that up with butter or ketchup if anyone's still hungry? Plus carrot or cucumber sticks that are inexpensive and easy?