To stop letting my friend’s child come over because he eats so much?

Quite shocked at the replies here. All the people saying, “He’s 7, just say no”

Totally agree you can put a limit on the amount of snacks you’re willing to give if you’re about to serve up a dinner. But come on - he’s 7! Poor kid must be hungry. He doesn’t choose to be going to someone else’s house after school. It won’t go on forever. Certainly, set boundaries. But be kind - seems like a lot of unkindness here, and ‘black and white’ thinking

A good friendship is not something to put a stop to.

Packet of own-brand digestive biscuits for snacks
Much cheaper than individual cereal bars

Beans on toast for tea
Milk to drink
Bargain type cake for dessert

It’s fine to say no.

’No, tea is nearly ready’
’No, the rest of the ice cream is for Billy’s dad to have later’
’No, would you like a drink of water?’

I would be concerned that the child dies get enough food at home and so is stocking up at yours.

Does he look thin or pale? Does he wolf it down like he's scared it'll get taken away?

I think if he seems genuinely hungry every time, then I'd mention it to the DSL at school.

In the meantime, I'd cook as much pasta as he likes!

I had a child who used to visit to play with my son and ate like this it turned out he was living in poverty and had very little at home. He used to love coming to ours for some home cooked food. If you can afford it feed him. This family got back on their feet and the lad stopped eating as much when at ours.

I think you're missing the fact that this child is not the OPs responsibility. She is not tight to be concerned about spending her own money on feeding someone else's child several times a week. Of course there are lots of cheap foods that are available to buy but why should the OP be doing this?

Agree that you need to put your foot down and just say no, there's no more left, or there are no more snacks etc.

I would bet food rules are quite stringent at home and the kid is just letting loose because he can.

Give him bread and butter with everything. Or offer toast and jam, lots of it, as the snack.

I would cut the play date to once a week and limit snacks to just one. He doesn’t just get to demand food.

Honestly I know someone who just routinely wormed her entire family every couple of months regardless of any symptoms when her DC where young 😂 sometimes I think it's not a bad idea

He’s 7. Just tell him no. I’m assuming your own child isn’t eating 3 bowls of pasta? It’s very excessive.
id give 1 piece of fruit, and maybe some toast. Then dinner will be whatever you guys have. No seconds and then maybe dessert if you will be having it.

One of my daughters friends was like this. Turned out she wasn't being looked after at home.

Some of the replies here are hilarious (sorry OP I know it's not funny for you):
Give him protein based meals instead of carbs
He could be diabetic
Is it a worming issue 😂
And the winning comment in response to all the 'buy some cheap pasta' advice: 'I buy Dececco' 😆

I hope you get a free meal when you visit where he works!

OP, it really depends on what the cause of the "excessive" eating is which will determine how you tackle it

• Not getting enough food at home? Unless there are safeguarding concerns, if it's an issue with the mum not being able to afford that much tbh I'd probably just stock up on cheap food to feed the friend and not mention it to his mum so as not to embarrass her

• Friend is just being a glutton because you've essentially allowed it so he thinks it's OK? In the nicest way, set some boundaries and stand up for yourself!

There is a 3rd option which is friend isn't being underfed persay but perhaps your food is REALLY nice compared to home. In this case, serve a reasonable amount of food that you're happy paying for but no more. Take it as a compliment that he likes your food/cooking. (This was sort of me in school, my DM much as I love her is a fucking awful cook so I'd often ask to go to my friends house - she was Indian and her mum was an AMAZING cook. I didn't do the rest of stuff your DS friend does like constantly asking for food, but I'd always want to go over to my friends house in a general sense because the food at home was so unappealing. I feel bad about it now but at the time I was a little kid, so....)

@GazerJame does your DS go to his house ever ? If not why not

you say mum works - are you free after school childcare

does mum pick him up ?

I cook enough for dd and friends / I don’t make 2/3 extra portions so you are obv making a lot of else would say it’s all gone now after first serving

This is what I’d be worried about.

It might be worth putting in a message to the safeguarding team at school as well- they could keep an eye on him to make sure he's getting enough to eat at school. I know with my children's school they also offer food packages out to certain families as well which might be an option if mum is struggling a bit.

It isn't just one more bowl of pasta though, is it? It can sometimes be two more bowls of pasta plus asking for snacks and then asking for pudding on top of that.

I'm failing to see how that isn't greedy.

The problem is that you're offering up more expensive foods like fruit and cereal bars, then getting annoyed that he's eating a lot. Buttered toast for snack. Dinner - 500g pasta 75p, jar of pesto £1, tin of tomatoes 45p, grate on some cheese; add some cheap veg chopped small and fried if you have it. Serve water and like or lump it, glass of milk or half juice/ half water with dinner. Biscuit for dessert. Doesn't need to cost much and he'll be stuffed as will your 3.

Hes literally asking for more pasta not another big mac... I don't get the greedy comments either...

See, this is the sort of post that just shames a poorer family, those things you mention above were ( and still are) luxury items for my shopping list! Also stating such and such is affordable...not when your budget is already tighter than, well you get the idea!

If this was me, then someone (me) would have to be missing even more meals every week to accommodate ( which I would if a child was genuinely going without). I'd cope for maybe twice a week and be ensuring child went home the other days ( depending on how friendly my child was with them)

I’m quite shocked at all of the posters saying a 7 yo is “greedy.” It’s be different if he were asking to be taken to Mac Donald’s or a teenage boy demanding another takeout but this is just a wee lad!

My parents were. Not vegan but very portion controlled.
They aren't evil just took some very bad advice from a friend of theirs.

It ruined my relationship with food, I was obsessed with my weight (I was hugely underweight) and it took quite a long time to get out of that mindset.

I agree - it sounds like he's a hungry kid not a greedy kid

One of my son's friends was like that. Always hungry and asking for food. I found out later that his parents were very specific about food they eat at home ( think super healthy clean vegan) and controlled the child's food too.