To stop letting my friend’s child come over because he eats so much?

What also struck me is the number of people calling the child rude for ASKING for food. Not demanding it, not snatching it, asking because he's hungry. He most likely has no idea that what he's doing is seen as inappropriate or unwelcome. Poor kid.

My child is 12 and would eat like this if I let him. He's very tall and going through another growth spurt. Plate up a good snack for when the boys come in. If possible something cheap and filling - bread and spread & piece of fruit, maybe a yogurt or small chocolate bar. Say something like "here's something to keep you going till tea".

Then a meal with a good portion of carbs - again one portion, say something about there not being seconds. Follow up with a pudding, again no seconds. Not being full doesn't hurt a child, but if he's used to having open cupboard access, it will be weird for him not to be.

Is it possible to have dinner earlier? We usually eat a bit later but my daughter has a friend who tends to have dinner pretty much straight after school about 4ish. So on the days she comes round to ours, I give them an actual meal rather than a snack. Then they have a snack a little while after that. My daughter will eat again later in the evening if she's hungry. They're 10 but this has been the case for a couple of years now - they're often ravenous after school anyway so I just go with it instead of insist on rigid mealtimes and trying to stave off genuine hunger with snacks. It does work. Ultimately the wee boy sounds hungry so maybe it's worth changing the mealtimes instead of just dreading it.

I had this with a friend of DDs and if drove me crazy. She would even ask to be taken to McDonalds. I just found her really rude with terrible boundaries. Felt like saying no did her a favour. You can’t go round peoples houses demanding food, it’s bad manners.

It's a hungry child. I don't understand why you wouldn't feed him.

You’re an adult. Just say no surely? Why is he being allowed to rifle through your cupboards for snacks and why are you giving him seconds and thirds?
A drink and a biscuit when he comes round. Dinner and pudding/fruit/yoghurt after. Maybe some bread for all in the middle of the table.
Have you not mentioned this to his parent? Does your child go to theirs for dinner too?

You shouldn't allow other people's kids to just raid the cupboards with gay abandon. Presumably your own children don't do this?

Supply a reasonable snack (one biscuit and a drink isn't really enough for a growing child between lunch and dinner) and then say that's it until dinner.

At dinner give them a portion you know they'll finish and then say sorry, there's no more.

I don't think you should ban them from the house over it. Is the kid normal weight? Is there any indication he doesn't get fed at home? What does his family feed your child?

I guess you can say to parents how he's always so hungry, could she send him with a sandwich or pack lunch type thing? If he really is eating you out of house and home. But just firmly saying no should be enough.

I was taught never ever to ask for food at other people's houses as a kid. Accept what your given and don't ask for seconds. So I think maybe it's the mum's fault for not teaching this.

Poor thing, I'd be worried he's going hungry... (but I'm soft haha).
I'd just bulk it up with cheap stuff like others have said - baked potatoes, pasta etc.
And just one fancy 'snack' then bread or wait for dinner.

If it's a more formal arrangement is his mum paying you?? If not could you her for a contribution towards food?

Why can't he go home for food n then come back after?

My 7 year old son eats multiple snacks (fruit, crackers, cheese, slice of toast etc), then dinner, then pudding (yoghurt and fruit usually). He’s on the 9th percentile, eats like a horse and constantly hungry. Dealing with the food demands is the hardest part of parenting him, it’s relentless!

Everyone approaches food differently and I don’t think there’s a “right way” with a healthy child. It just sounds like your kids aren’t as big eaters, most aren’t compared to mine.

If my son went to your house, as soon as he’s comfortable he’d be asking constantly like he does at home. Just say no kindly. No drama.

I think it would be fair for you to ask parents to send a snack with him, or just say no to snacks and offer a larger dinner (pasta is so cheap, just increase the portion) or give him a normal size dinner and text mum to say he may still be hungry as you only had enough for one portion. Then he can have something else when he gets home.

You’re doing the parents a massive favour, don’t feel guilty addressing this with them.

Yeah quite. A lot of kids would eat hardly anything. It all balances out. I remember mums always commenting that DDs were good eaters when they went for tea so I'm wondering now whether they ate them out of house and home like this lad!

If the only issue with this many play dates is amount of food…
Toast with jam, chocolate spread or peanut butter as a snack after school. Ideally alternating the topping so it’s not too samey.
If hungry, offer him one own brand digestive and say that’s it as it’s almost dinner.
Then after dinner - I’m afraid no second helpings today! But we’ve got X for pudding and then should be time to do Y before your mum comes’.

Someone's offered this advice: "I would also cook a bulky cheap tea (something with rice/ pasta/ potato)".

It's opening up whole new world's of meal ideas for me 😂!

Gosh this thread worries me as my daughter is a skinny piglet, she is non stop hungry despite having lovely (in my
opinion!) home cooked big meals every single day and my son is the opposite. She will always ask parents for more food at their house, it’s so embarrassing! Also horrible to think the child isn’t fed properly. Maybe he just enjoys his food!

I’m go smacked by how uncaring so many people are on this thread. This is a child who is hungry. Thankfully Ive never met anyone in real life who would begrudge a hungry child enough food to fill them up. I’m sure most people have had friends come round to tea who are very fussy eaters, who eat next to nothing, or who will eat enough to fill a baby elephant, and surely it’s just something that you cater to when you invite your children’s friends round?

I remember another parent being surprised that I allowed DDs to eat some chocolate buttons not long before their tea, and my saying "Meh- they'll eat their dinner ok.' And they proceded to do just that. I could've always eaten a scabby horse through a barn door after school. I'd probably had two helpings of puddings at school as well if it was a nice crumble & custard.

I'd only offer toast with jam with no snacks alongside dinner. A loaf and jam can be quite cheap. If he asks for more just say no, sorry. He's testing you and enjoying what snacks you give!

This post is wild!! 😂😂

Are you fucking serious?? 🤯

You don't need to tell him off. Just say "Sorry, there's none left. You can have an apple if you're still hungry". For me I would be a little concerned about this and would mention it to the schools dsl. They can then see what he is eating at school too.

Just have a chat with his mum. Explain you can’t afford to keep feeding him so could she pick him up before tea.

He may have strict rules at home and is making the most of it at yours.
Ask his mum what her rules are around snacks, second helpings and portions on the grounds that you don't want to be a bad influence.

I find it strange he is coming over multiple times a week at seven and your son isn’t going to his hoMe.

id worry that something is amiss at home that he even wants to come to yours so often/his parents aren’t wanting him home more.

id keep feeding him but look for more cost effective ways to do it.

I’m genuinely gobsmacked at posters suggesting the OP buys in food specifically to feed this lad! Why the fuck should she??

OP…you’re the adult here! Just say no…not sure why you’re quite so worried about being ‘perceived as rude’ by a 7 year old boy! I would be actively telling him that he’s rude for asking you to give him food all the time, and I’d send him right back home! I’d also be speaking to his parents. Time to woman-up OP.

Totally agree! It sounds like this is a post about the OP trying to feed up her own child! suggestions of cheap pasta, fruit, beans etc, it obviously bothers her and is not her responsibility to maintain someone else’s child endlessly.

It's so tricky as he's just a child and, as you say, he gets on well with your DS and so it would be a shame if the friendship ended.

All I can think of is cheap & nourishing food. Lots of people mention pasta, you can make a cheap and quick sauce with chopped tomatoes etc, and bread. Fill them up with carbs, fat & protein (not necessarily animal protein - beans etc), jacket potatoes in suitable wintry weather. Old fashioned stuff. Nothing like it!

And also see what you can find out about his home life.