To stop letting my friend’s child come over because he eats so much?

How long are you looking after him? Is it 1-2 hours after school or late into the evening?
more context is needed. If he comes for a short period then I would probably give a sandwich with fruit and veg on the side and no treats as he probably gets treats at home after dinner.

I know it’s annoying, but all my kids were like this. Absolutely starving after school. All teenagers now with no weight or food issues. It’s just they were 7, had a very busy day running round at school, prob a bit tired, and must have needed the calories.

As others have said, find what you can afford (and I totally sympathise as the price of all food, even pasta is high now). A big bowl of supermarket cereal and milk, or some cheese and crackers might work as has some protein to fill him up.

It’s not his fault, bless him. As you say, your DS has a lovely fun time with him there, and he’s a well behaved boy. That’s the trade off, if you see what I mean. He’ll probably have lovely memories of being at your house :)

@tempname1234
100 % agree .
OP this child may be hungry .. if you can afford to feed him I would do so without question .

My DD had friends like this. Their mum was also my friend. When I was on maternity leave with DC2, they came twice a week and the first week they ate all the snacks was when I realised that I need to change tactic. I bought some cheap biscuits for the cupboard for their visit and only made an effort for lunch so it was cheaper.

Do you know if he then gets tea when he goes home too? I know there’s a syndrome where a person can’t feel that they’re full, or maybe he isn’t well fed at home. Or send him home at teatime.

Surely different kids have different appetites. My kid eats adult sized portions at meal time but rarely has snacks or breakfast. That means he can have loads for lunch and dinner but will happily refuse an ice cream in the afternoon.
How about toast and butter for snacks and pasta or jacket potatoes for dinner. Not only is this cheap but probably also better than endless and often expensive snacks.

The OP says he's a sweet boy, very polite, no behaviour issues

So he's not a greedy-guts, rude, or ill mannered - just has a big appetite.

I hope the OP will expand further on her relationship with this lad's mother.

I think you need to consider his reason for eating so much (poverty at home? very strict parent etc?) and also what's your reason for not wanting to feed him? Is it that you find the extra food difficult to fund yourself, or it is just annoying. Personally, I'd just go with it, but make something like spag bol - with an extra pasta serving for him. I'd rather do this than stop play dates as your DC likes playing with him so nice to foster the friendship.

What if op doesn’t want to cook cheap food and plan around this child multiple times a week? Just tell this child they can have seconds but that’s it.
also a yoghurt for after.
can’t stand greediness in anyone.
if it’s not working, stop the play dates.

If he's eating that much he could be diabetic

Give him water, and protein based meals that will fill him up more than all those carbs.

May I suggest a melon fan for the starter then? Or a schooner of grapefruit juice?

He’ll have two or three snacks straight away, like fruit, crackers, cereal bars, whatever’s in the cupboard, and then still be asking when tea is. I usually do something like pasta or fish fingers and beans, and without fail he’ll ask for seconds, sometimes thirds. Then pudding. Last week he had three bowls of pasta and then asked if we had any cake.

To PPs saying OP is tight and the cost of feeding this child is insignificant...

At each visit, he's eating 2-3 days worth of after school snacks and evening meals.

That means, each week, he's eating 4-6 days worth of after school snacks and 4-6 days worth of evening meals.

This is the equivalent of having an extra mouth to feed for snacks and evening meal all week. And maybe OP can't afford this extra mouth to feed every week.

If it's only twice a week you can surely suck it up. I had that with my son and his friends, a lot more than twice a week and during the school holidays. None of them were neglected at home, just ate a lot, my son also had a large appetite. We always cooked big meals so it wasn't a problem.

😂

No, and DC won't eat the bloody soup either.

All these people say they can't believe people suggest denying food to a hungry child, sometimes this is the kind thing to do. Some kids just love eating. My child is 12, tall, but slightly overweight for his height. He isn't disabled or anything, but we do limit his food, because IT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO. If we didn't I expect we would end up with an obese teenager with a range of health problems. Letting that happen would be abuse.

Does that include a fish course?

My kid has a friend like this, funnily enough they are both also 7 so maybe it’s something to do with that age! She constantly pesters for snacks and last time ate an entire bag of Madeline’s and an entire bag of mini pancakes after school without me knowing both intended for lunchboxes throughout the week, this was after me giving usually after school snacks out! Now I make sure all snacks are put away where she can’t find them and I offer cheap snacks instead like toast. I also cook cheap meals like pasta where she can have multiple portions without it costing too much. Sometimes I just tell her no she has to wait and hold my ground. Or say we don’t have any dinner left as it’s all been eaten. But she’s skinny and once turned up having eaten no lunch so tbh I feel sorry for her and don’t begrudge her the food. Is your sons friend well looked after?

Just make cheaper food on the day's he's coming over. Jacket potatoes - allow 3 for him. Or pasta and tomato sauce, give him loads. Beans on toast (supermarket own brand). Someone else here mentioned rice pudding. Filling and cheap.

My DC comes home from school STARVING and at 3.30 will eat a 3 or 4 course meal. But that does him more or less until bedtime, other than a piece of toast or a small snack.

You title says "friend's child", do you mean "child's friend"?

My youngest DS had a friend who came over to our house a lot. He was quite tall and skinny. He often ate dinner with us or he loved a BBQ which we often had in the summer months. He would devour a steak, couple of sausages and a chicken kebab. He ate loads and loved his meat. After about 3 years of feeding this DC meat from when he was 12-15 I found out his parents were both vegetarian and never fed him meat. I didn't know what to do. My DS had known but felt his friend was old enough to choose for himself so had never told me.

OP hasn't actually said "I genuinely don't know anything at all about feeding children"

Let's assume she's familiar with carbohydrates and the most basic pasta sauce, shall we?

I think the expense issue is a red herring. You have three children of your own, your food bill is going to increase a lot in the coming years. 3 bowls of pasta isn't expensive. If this really is an issue for you then you need to make it clear to his parents that he can't stop for tea.

If this has been going on for some time, how do you not have a better idea of his home set up? Do you know what the mother does for work? Is he clean (him and his clothes)? Of course, you can't know the exact financial situation, but feeding your kids is pretty high on the list of priorities if money is tight.
Do you ask him what he has for lunch at school?

Both boys could eat a couple of Weetabix, an apple and a glass of MIlo straight after school. Any snack larger will spoil their dinner.

Don't ask me why - but this is so funny!