To stop letting my friend’s child come over because he eats so much?

Do u have any difficulty in telling your own kids no more ? If his mum expects u to feed her child without overing any recompense then just say no more second or third helpings & stick to it . It’s possible they aren’t feeding him properly or maybe he’s just a being a bit greedy . A lot of growing kids can eat u out of house and home & still be built like a stick insect . If u really can’t bring yourself to say no to him ( & u seem so decent & very kind so i understand if u can’t ) then u could perhaps do what i did when i was at uni , i bought cheap value bread & own brand value beans & i survived on them & practically nothing else . U could offer him that & a digestive biscuit & that’s it x

When I cook pasta I cook lots so I can put leftover stuff in the fridge for kids school lunchboxes / pasta salad / quick meal with butter and cheese when kids are being fussy. It’s a much more efficient use of energy. Maybe op does the same

This OP! @GazerJame

why you cooking up so much?? You must waste loads. Weight out your portions so you’re not cooking a surplus

Why are you cooking so much pasta that there are seconds and thirds available? Just cook what you need and tell him he will have to wait until he gets home

@JustGoClickLikeALightSwitch

nope, I’m not.

My irony meter is broken at the moment, but boy I hope you’re joking.

@JustGoClickLikeALightSwitch

who has got the time to make homemade popcorn?? Just buy a bag from Asda!

Yeah its better for them, but I dont know many kids that will eat that. Just being realistic to what the OP says is on offer for snacks in their house.

A cereal bar and low fat crisps are really poor snack options, nutritionally - something like oat flapjacks, homemade popcorn, full fat yogurt and similar is likely to be filling and better for him.

My 8 yr old is a bottomless pit atm

I had to reign it in.

He now has a "snack box" where I put in all the snacks he is allowed - usually a cereal bar, some fruit and low fat crisps.

He has one dinner serving, if he is still hungry, he can have half a portion more.

Pudding is an hour after dinner and he only gets it if the dinner has been eaten in full (or a good attempt made at least).

If he says he's hungry in the evenings, he has a choice of a sandwich, fruit, yogurt or toast. He will decline as he just wants sweets etc.

I would say get a snack box and fill with a couple of snacks and tell them thats all they will be getting before dinner. Dinner is a max 1.5 servings, and if still hungry after all that and pudding, they can have a piece of toast/yogurt/fruit. Other than that its a no.

Make sure he is drinking plenty too - sometimes thirst can be mistaken for hunger!

How does he manage if op is away on holiday, if there are issues then masking them doesn't help, the school won't notice any anxiety, weight loss or eating problems if someone else is feeding him and filling him up with low nutritional food like bread and biscuits

Of course I do but the first thing to do is ask why he's eating so much and so often at op home, without knowing what the boys home situation is, where his mum is after school, if she's struggling, if she needs support which op won't tell us then telling op she needs to keep filling him up with cheap foods isn't going to resolve the issue or help anyone is it. How long can this continue until the mum qnd boy get the help they may need, we don't even know if these are after school play dates or he's coming round for his tea.

There are millions of children not getting fed at home for any number of reasons. Poverty, neglect, various chaotic family situations, mental health issues. I volunteer at the local food bank and the stories are heartbreaking. Surely you know that not all children are cared for?

I have no idea. Maybe his parents feed him enough and he's just taking advantage of OP not saying no but it's also possible that for whatever reason, his parents aren't feeding him enough.

I'd be concerned about the guest setting a bad example for your own child.

Why can't his own mum send him to school with cheap bread, biscuits and a load of other cheap food to fill him up.

I do understand the cost, particularly at the moment with the way food costs are.

But I would be worrying that the poor boy wasn't being fed properly at home. And for that reason, although it's obviously not your personal responsibility, I'd continue to feed him. However, the snacks would change - in our house, single-serving snacks like cereal bars are not every day home snacks. Toast, natural yogurt, fruit are our go-tos.

Perhaps find a way to drop it into conversation about what dinners they have at home? Start a dinner-time conversation about what everyone's favourite dinners are - that way he won't be singled-out.

It might be that his mum makes all their food and they don't have fish fingers often, so he's using it as a way of enjoying the taste as much as he can, while he can. In which case, the answer is no, that's all we have.

It might be that your portions are smaller than he's used to. School lunches are notoriously mean in serving size. Our family eats big portions (filling up with cheaper vegetables rather than the more expensive meats).

If your portions are normal, he wouldn't be having seconds. He could have a pudding.

Now, having said all that, my son says he's absolutely starving when really he just fancies a sweet treat. This does my head in, and I'm trying to instill in him that he's not actually starving. He just fancies a pudding/sweet 🙈

Those posters are concerned he isn't getting fed properly at home. It isn't OP's job to provide him with a balanced diet, it's his parents job and if they aren't feeding him properly then it is better than nothing and doesn't break OP's bank balance either.

@MasterBeth

i would imagine he has bread at other places not just OP’s house! Plus the way some posters are talking, sounds like OP would be giving him about half a loaf, lol

Bread? A couple of times a week? Call the Food Police 🚨 🚨!!

Not sure if it’s good for a child to be eating loads of cheap bread as some posters are suggesting.

This, say no you'll have to wait till you get home, that opens up a conversation about his home situation too.

Have you ever heard of the word no?
"can I have seconds of fish fingers?" No, sorry.
"can I have another cereal bar?" No, sorry
It's that easy.
This is totally within your control, especially when the child is only 7.

Yes but op hasn't clarified if they are a family where a small chicken feeds them all for a month cos they all eat like birds and can't manage more than a mouthful of lettuce.

You know the mumsnet posters who go out for lunch on Monday and are still STUFFED on the Wednesday.

I mean to buy cheap bread if they are that type of family

It's kind that op is feeding him but surely the priority is investigating why he's asking for so much and what his own mum is doing at home, where is his own mum after school?