DH should fund the house renovations even though we are separated

You sound like hard work...

Of course the sensible solution is to sell the house.

Why on earth should he pay to renovate a house he will no longer live in and when you have separated?

Or if you want to stay in that house you should buy him out and then fund the refurbishment yourself.

”I felt particularly annoyed that I couldnt cook a simple meal for weeks”

Of course you could - don’t be so ridiculous. You’re exaggerating wildly. Many of us have been without a kitchen, managed to cook for the family and washed up in the bath/sink - it’s not ideal, but doesn’t last forever. And the kitchen was finished in the end. You’ve thrown your marriage away over such a trivial issue? It’s unbelievable. Your poor children.

If your marriage couldn’t survive a kitchen renovation and your behaviour was so unreasonable he moved out, there’s no way he’s going to renovate the whole house. Why should he?
YABVU. Sell the house and divorce. If you want someone to renovate a house to your spec, find a rich man and be nicer to him.

It would soon exceed £200 000 - they always seem to. Sell and go your separate ways.

It sounds very stressful, but I am afraid I agree with your husband. Unless you want to do a deal where whatever he spends from now to the refurbishment he gets back when the house is sold in addition to whatever split of the house you expect.

What are you bringing to the proposal? Money? Time?

Why did you edit the post to remove the value of £200k? The value is important here - £200k isn't the same as £50k.

It really makes no sense for him to fund the renovation. Sure, he can spend 100K on renovating and potentially get 100K once you sell, but half of that would go to you so he would just be worse off whilst you will be better off without investing any money of your own.

No, he shouldn’t fund the refurbishment. Why would he?
How long have you been married, how old are your children?
I believe the starting point is 50/50 division of marital assets, doesn’t matter who’s on the deeds. I would book an initial consultation with a solicitor to get advice.

Agree with DH.

It hard to understand why your marriage fell apart because you couldn't cook a simple meal for a few weeks. Or why you couldn't cook a simple meal, come to that.

We were without a kitchen for a similar amount of time. I set up a "kitchen area" in the living room, with kettle, toaster, microwave and a single plug-in hob. It was a juggling act to be fair, had to move kettle and toaster in the evening to plug in the single hob, then move the hob after dinner, but we coped. I cooked a lot of stir fries on the hob - similar to what we would have anyway. It was a faff, not saying it was simple, but there must have been issues with your relationship prior to this.

But going forward, if the marriage is dead, then sell-up and find somewhere for you and your DC as soon as possible so they have a decent home life amid the trauma of their parents separating.

He’s not unreasonable to want to sell the house and move on quickly. You are naive to think that he would fund the renovations so you would benefit financially. It sounds like you’re very angry at each other and renovations would mean months of him living where he is now when he’d presumably prefer buying his own place.
Can you move out and he moves back in? He might be more willing to pay if he’s not paying the mortgage for you. As it’s acrimonious, this will be a consideration for him.
If the kitchen renovation stressed you out, I can see why he’d doesn’t want to risk further renovation arguments with you. A lot of people would suck up the money that they could have made in favour of a quiet life.

It says in the OP she doesn’t have a job, assets or savings. And it wouldn’t make a difference if he didn’t want to pay the other half anyway.

Op, I mean this politely but you can’t be serious. Of course he shouldn’t refurb the house. Good grief. I assume you plan to live there whilst it goes on, giving you longer in the property, is that the goal? To delay selling?

Why can't you pay half of the costs to finish it?

You have no assets or savings but you work so can get a loan or pay for materials by credit card?

I mean you can ask him.

but he has every right to say no and honestly in his situation I would. Renovations are very stressful even in the best circumstances.

I assume he would re-coup the cost of the reno from the selling price, so the amount you gain would probably be small anyway. Is he also paying all the bills now although he's not living there, if so he should get that money back from the sale too, it's not fair you get the benefit. Just sell it and move on.

Also more must be going on here, it seem odd to divorce over a kitchen refit You must have been prepared for expense and disruption.

We lived with no barhroom for 4 weeks as we could not afford to move out. Yes living in dust and chaos, washing standing up by the kitchen sink and going to the loo in bare pan in an empty shell of a bathroom was not great. But we survived and more importantly so did our relationship.

Why on earth should he pay for it because you are a woman? Again a man in not a cash machine

I don’t get why you took your anger out on him. But he’s right, time to sell the house

Makes no sense for your H to fund further refurb, nor for you to expect it.
your marriage sounds like it wasn’t very robust if it failed to withstand the pressures of renovation. I think you’d both be best served either seeing if your relationship can be salvaged, or finding the best route for going your separate ways.

Depends if you spend out on it will it significantly increase in value?

Madness. Sell the house, even if it’s to avoid living in a building site for a year.

Agree with your husband here sorry OP. If you want it done then fund it yourself, if you can’t then it’s time to sell up.

This house has destroyed yoir marriage, why on earth would you continue with rennovations. Get rid of it now, cut your losses and move on with your lives

5 weeks isn't excessive for a kitchen refurb ours took 4 earlier this year. Yes it was stressful but not sure why that was your husband's fault.
Sell it as is and move on.