Would you go to this wedding ?

go if you want - when I have seen this in the past it’s usually someone with young kids who love to see the wedding and the dress and pretty things

but also - it is actually the important and significant part of a wedding- the bit with meaning

I don't know if this a regional thing, like attending funerals, but I've been to various weddings where the only part I've been to is the service. Normally people like work colleagues, children of friends, people I know from hobbies etc. You aren't formally invited but let know where and when it is and often a group of you will go along together. I wouldn't travel much distance, would wear something I owned and not give a gift Sometimes you don't even sit through the service but just go to see them coming out.

Are you the only person from the hobby who has only been asked to the service only?

I wouldn’t go because you haven’t actually been invited! She’s said you can pop along to the church but you could do that anyway, whether you know the bride and groom or not!
She’s invited the rest of the group but not you, so no, I wouldn’t go.

I wouldn't go through the faff of getting ready for a wedding for juat the church service!

People on mumsnet get a bit sniffy about evening only invites but I love them so its not that you've not been invited for the whole day that would bother me, its that you've been invited for what, a boring half hour ceremony and then you leave?

Definitely wouldn’t go.
It does sound like she invited you just because you were around when they discussed it, and it doesn’t cost them anything to have an extra in church. She won’t notice whether you went or not.

That's super random. I wouldn't go, it's the bit I least like at weddings but endure to get to the party. She won't miss you at all. Just say you couldn't make it in the end next time you see her.

Loads of these responses are really sad. Nobody cares if one extra seat is taken or not, it makes no difference so no, I don't think anyone invites someone to their wedding ceremony to fill a seat. Nor to get a present because nobody would expect to bring a present just to the church.

I would base my decision entirely on whether I wanted to go and whether it was convenient. Not by cynically second guessing the bride's motives or worrying about what anyone else thought.

Your just a seat filler , it would be a hard no from me.

I’d agree that it’ll appear desperate; it’s giving out ‘loser’, ‘extra’ vibe… the ones not invited to after party. It’s half a friendship and that’s being generous. I wouldn’t go.

Definitely don't go! Trust your gut!

I wouldn’t go

Anyone can go to the service as it’s a public event . So the invite is a bit meh. I just wouldn’t go, I doubt she would notice. I agree it woild feel awkward when everyone else goes to the reception and you’re not there.
if she invited everyone from the group but not you that’s a bit mean . If a couple of people she is a bit closer too are invited and it happened that you were stood with them when the wedding came up I can see why she thought including you inthe service would be a nice thing to do. But it doesn’t mean you have to go.

I wouldn’t go. Being invited to the church is not an invitation; it’s a public venue. Shame you have plans for tomorrow…

I wouldn’t go either. Fair enough if all work colleagues just going to the service, but if some are going to the whole thing (assume those colleagues bride is closer to) might feel a bit odd. When my friend got married, some people turned up to see bride come out of church who were invited to the night do, guess they could have come inside but didn’t. But they had an invite to part of it, if you’re just church, I wouldn’t go no.

Absolutely this. Where I grew up everyone was invited to the church service as that's obviously the most significant part of it all. A much smaller group then go to the lunch or dinner afterwards.

But if you don't know them well or don't want to see them get married then don't go.

Don’t turn up, she won’t notice. Then politely tell her afterwards that you had a family emergency. Does she just want more presents? Or a full church?

I would go if I had no plans… I like weddings

You don’t need an invitation. Anyone can go to the church to see a couple get married. It is the most important part of the day. I’d go!

I wouldn't go. I'd feel like a poor relation.

I wouldn’t go, especially if she only invited you after the wedding came up while you were there.

But the good news is that you can have a lovely day doing something nice that you enjoy. You don’t have to iron anything or faff about with a card or whether or not you should give her a gift, there’ll be no awkwardness about whether you hang about for photos or one of those aisle things that are quite popular now, or mutual friends asking where you disappeared to after the church, and you don’t even have to tell her because she’ll never notice you aren’t there and you won’t be wasting a meal or a place that could have gone to someone else.

I would definitely see this as a positive.

I think it's really sad so many pp think the service is the " boring " bit.
Surely the whole point of the couple getting married is the exchanging of vows?
I think if you genuinely like this person and want to see her and her future husband commit themselves to each other and their future together then go to the service.
But if you are only bothered about the wedding because other people are going and the significance of the ceremony doesn't interest you then I wouldn't go.

I've never heard of an invite just to the church. Normally anyone invited to the service then goes to the full reception

I wouldn't go. Its not like shell notice youre not there

Is she definitely having a wedding breakfast? Not the church, then an evening reception straight after?

The church part is the best bit.

Nobody gets invited to it because anybody can go to a wedding service. You can't be turned away, even if you don't know the bride and groom.

This. Go if you want to, and it’s not out of your way or clashing with other plans.