Was the ‘race card’ pulled??

I think you might be flogging a dead horse with this poster tbh. She seems completely unable to accept that this does in fact happen sometimes.

Again, are you saying that the few instances mentioned on here are untrue? Made up? Somehow in fact WERE racist responses? (Though still no-one has told me in what way my "spitball= move seats" scenario can be conditioned by bias). How is it that you cannot accept that BOTH things can be true? That endemic racism exists AND some people in some circumstances do use their race or sex as a shield against reprimand?

I think the point that @RhaenysRocks is making is that it may be much much more common that racially different people - or for that matter any "othered" groups like the disabled - to be discriminated against but that doesn't 100% preclude people trying to use their protected status to their advantage.

OK one type of behaviour (racism) is much more common, but the scale doesn't just stop in the middle and you do get a few incidents at the other end. You seem to be denying that this could possibly happen.

You seem to be taking generalisations as absolutes here, and defining anyone's dissimilar experiences as bias despite the evidence given.

You’re not sure why it’s controversial? In a society where racialised inequalities are so entrenched and endemic? That people’s perceptions are that racialised minorities are in fact the one’s benefiting from the system by playing this (fantasy thing called ) the “race card”.

YWNBU, save for the use of the absolutely awful 'pulling the race card.' Both here and in rl, I find it hard to get past anyone using that phrase.

the family that did that is being rasist and causing a non issue and the ability to not be good humans and pulling the raisim card!!!

Completely agree! Not sure why it’s even controversial!

The guess is informed by the bias. Any guess is informed by evidence, be it perceived or real.
My reading of it was different, ergo my bias is that people think teenagers generally push in.

Exactly. It seems that some posters are incapable of accepting that TWO or even several things might be true at the same time. Just because in some workplaces, someone's complaint of harassment has been ignored does not mean it therefore follows that in another, a person uses their protected characteristic to shield themselves from poor reviews or appraisals.

I’m not denying that happened and continues to happen, and it’s completely unacceptable where it does.

Ir’s bizarre though that some on this thread are so determined not to even countenance that this might, even sometimes, skew the other way in other contexts.

If you had bothered to read my OP I said I agreed as to how rude they were but had to agree as have plenty of others that she should not have presumed they were using the race card.

OP, there's another possibility. Since you have stated you are Hispanic (which it seems many posters have ignored in their haste to assume you are a racially biased white person) it may very well be that this was about racism against you, not that they were accusing you of racism. "You know why she's done that." sounds as much like like a racist comment as it does an accusation that you are racist. Even if they were POC it does not preclude them being racist against people of Hispanic origin. I do find the notion proposed by some that they were accusing you of being snobby quite ridiculous, since they had no way of knowing anything about your personality. They only knew what you looked like.
Any way you cut it, they are clearly assholes and YANBU.

So you were actually physically assaulted by this lunatic? I'd have reported that to airport security, but I understand that you were tired and just wanted to get home.

right

But statistical evidence does not deny it make it impossible for individuals to behave contrary to the majority. Again, noone is denying racism exists. The only people denying others' experiences are those questioning the op and those of us who have given similar anecdotes such as the flower bed one. It is an observed fact that there are instances where people have invoked race / sex etc to try and deflect from poor behaviour. In my classroom and the flower bed example I simply cannot see such straightforward interactions as anything other than that..straightforward. Spitballing, trampling flowers ARE objectively poor behaviour. Not following repeated, clear instructions at work IS poor performance. Following those things up is completely justified and literally nothing to do with the identity of the offender, so if they bring race / sex into it, why is it so difficult to accept that they are in fact gaslighting (if that is a more acceptable phrase than "card"). There's no bias, unconscious or otherwise. Poor behaviour = sanction.

This definitely not true. I have seen staff complain about being racially abused by service users - nothing was done. The management was very dismissive.

Are you for real?

You think that no one collecting data about how often people might use some kind of status as a disadvantaged person as a way to asset power over others means it doesn't happen?

You must be living on Mars. Everyone has seen people like this, even if only occasionally. In every walk of life.

It's no differernt than people who claimed that a transwoman suing woman-run small businesses who refused to wax his balls couldn't be a grifter doing it for money because he was so oppressed.

There are always people who will take advantage, building systems that don't account for that is dangerous.

I think this is a very common perception of reality which is why reform is predicted to be our next government. I believe it reflects the “lived experience” of many white people.

I do not think this is the actual reality as it is not supported by any of the objective evidence on social, economic and political advantage and race, which all point to the completely opposite dynamic. Nor does it tend to reflect the lived experience of minority racialised people,

Women are typically terribly critical of men who approach male bad behaviour that way.

This does not in any way resonate with my personal experience or what the hard data says about social and workforce equality.
Its really worrying that people actually think these things.

No word on the queue jumping? Stop making the OP feel guilty for describing a passive aggressive situation. Let's turn this back round on you: if the family had been white and uttered the comments about the OP, you would have jumped straight in with racist. She can't win because there are many people who handle this with kid gloves. David Lammy was so right about white saviours.

So you think the situation described didn't happen? You're just choosing to believe it didn't happen in that way because it suits your narrative.

OP you should not have used the race card wording in your title simple as and let’s not deny you wouldn’t have said the same thing if the family had been of a different heritage eg non black . You assumed they said what they did because they thought you were being racist which was only your interpretation. Just own it FFS

I remember teaching on an employability group. I asked a black man to politely move away from the photocopier, as he was sat in a swivel chair in front of it. He called me a racist. Now, how do you rationalise that? If I say, he probably wanted to be kicked off the mandatory course, will I be called a racist?

Ah, so because my lived experience doesn't agree with your view then I must be biased?

This person would sit staring at a plain wall for hours on end. Despite being told many times how the manager requested documents to be filed, a simple system based on subject then client name within subject then most recent document at the front (bog standard filing practice), documents would be "filed" by randomly adding them to whichever file came to hand in the drawer they were nearest to - unless you can see any other reason why e.g. Mr David Smith's document regarding radiation levels was stuffed in the middle of Mrs Elizabeth Brown's file regarding sewage pollution in the nearby river. My poor boss was pulled into extra reviews of this admin's performance every single year, and every year was told he had to give a "satisfactory" mark to someone who's work wasn't; because every year he was accused of giving a "must improve" rating.

He admitted to me in private after I had taken over that job on top of my existing work that the only reason this person had been given the "must improve" rating was due to the racism accusations as for anyone else the rating would have been "unacceptable" and disciplinary measures put in place.

But clearly I must have been biased in my interpretation according to you. Or I made it all up. Or something anything because by definition if somebody isn't white British then they must have been hard done by, incapable of any failings, and any that are perceived MUST be due to bias on someone else's part - that's basically what you are saying isn't it?

Maybe in earlier decades, but current corporate structures, especially in the public sector, go to significant effort to try and ensure those from non-white backgrounds are treated fairly, even if they don’t always succeed.

A failing Black or Asian worker would generally be taken very seriously if they said that racism was impacting on their performance, even if it was just an excuse and the allegations weren’t ultimately substantiated…. whereas a similarly failing white worker couldn’t do the same.

Based on your and others perspectives on here, it would be very easy for a Black or Asian worker to falsely invent a racism excuse… as the presumption seems to be that they are almost certainly correct, and there would be very little burden of proof on their part. That would give them a significant advantage over the equivalent white worker.