Was the ‘race card’ pulled??

I can also respect white people who have experienced prejudice, like Irish for example who have been treated awfully in the past and in some ways still are. But lets not go there, because I can give you many examples. It's not inverted racism to challenge racism, don't be so pathetic 🤣 Inverted racism, ha ha ha, that has to be the most ridiculous concept I have ever heard 🤣

Hispanics are quite high on the pyramid of privilege though, so she shouldn’t expect anything sympathy from the embittered CRT crowd.

Omg they are awful sorry that happened to you

The funniest thing is that OP isn't actually white herself, she's hispanic

@Glittercloud17 Quote "Upon reflection I realise now that the phrase “race card” was not appropriate phrasing." 🙄

Ohhh please, your thread has been hijacked by the usual anti white crowd that always follows these threads. If you honestly take advise from AIBU from people like this i despair.

A lot of poster on here are gaslighting you just because of who you are and what you look like.

Disturbing?! The people who I find most disturbing on this thread are those like you and others who gaslight and belittle anyone who dares to challenge your pernicious ideology of anti-white prejudice that respects the lived experience of anyone other but white people. It’s inverted racism and it’s toxic, and it’s so exhaustingly negative. I’m heartened by the vote that supported the OP 96% to 4%, even if she admits she used loaded terminology.

So you think that because she fought it and eventually won that means that this situation has never happened before or since and nobody in her position has ever lost? Don't be so obtuse.

no ‘benefits’ or concessions were made based on anyone’s race.

Your ignorance continues to astound me OP 🤯😳

Please do some research into indigenous people and affirmative action. Better yet, actually talk to some people who are affected by racism. No one gets "benefits", it's just trying to level the playing field, and it will never be level. Well maybe one day, far, far into the future when all the racist people are dead. I suppose you think disabled people are also benefiting from blue badges and car spaces. Sigh 😑

These threads are great, it reminds us what some people really think, and it's disturbing.

Do you think that only white people are devious? I’ve witnessed ‘colleagues’ who have accused team mates and managers of treating them unfavourably based purely on their colour. One in particular comes to mind, he complained about being asked to do parts of the job for which he was employed, complained about not being given other tasks, for which he was offered training because he lacked the skills. He took offence. There were other POC in the team, who found him difficult to work with.

He complained about a female, mixed race supervisor, he was witnessed being very rude to her. He wasn’t disciplined (public sector fear of being deemed racist), he was moved. Issues followed in the next department, and the next. Every time he didn’t like some aspect of the work he said he was being treated differently due to racism. He’s probably still there.

I have to disagree with you here, if only because in this particular instance it was the OP who racialised the situation.

On the broader issue that you raise, there does seem to be a backlash against antiracism work. There seems to be a perception that being perceived to be racist is worse than racism itself, and I don’t think that is right. Misunderstandings will always happen, but with mutual respect and honest communication, people can work through differences. I don’t think it’s healthy to assume that all ethnic minorities are waiting to trap others with false accusations of racism, and I think that in reality, most people are open minded and gracious if they are treated with respect and listened to. The problem is that communication is set up as some sort of power dynamic where someone is in the right and someone is in the wrong, and people are not used to hearing ethnic minorities assert themselves and so are liable to become defensive rather than listening and then responding (as opposed to reacting). Most people can tell when someone has goodwill and respond with generosity to this. The problem that many people from racialised minorities face is that in many cases, the people they are dealing with may be so busy on impression management (not coming across as racist) that they don’t actually listen to them.
Even when misunderstandings happen, people can work through them, as with the example I shared earlier with the man and woman on the plane. People just need to be more courageous.

Yes you're right OP. I would be fuming.

Perhaps the issue is about white fragility?

Or, to be precise, she thinks that it was assumed that her actions occurred because of the colour of her skin (and she thinks this because of the colour of their skin, not because of what was actually said). We don’t know what they assumed and neither does she. We don’t know if they assumed something because of her accent or her dressing or anything else. But I take your point about discrimination including microaggressions, thank you.

@UmpteenthNCl think the OP raises a really important—and often avoided—conversation. In places like schools, hospitals, and workplaces, there can sometimes be a dynamic where non-white individuals feel they're being judged or mistreated by white people before anything has even been said. It’s as if there’s an assumption that white people are automatically in the wrong, and that non-white people are automatically victims. That assumption, in itself, can be a form of discrimination.

Discussions around race have become so dominated by ideas like CRT and white privilege that it’s hard to talk openly without being labelled. These frameworks do highlight real issues, but they can also make it difficult to have honest conversations where people are seen as individuals, not just as representatives of their racial group.
When everything is filtered through race alone, it can create tension and misunderstanding. White people may feel they’re being unfairly judged, while non-white people may feel entitled to react strongly to any perceived slight—even if it wasn’t intended that way. This can lead to a backlash that doesn’t help anyone and makes it harder to build trust and mutual respect.

Discrimination can include micro aggressions and assumptions, so does not necessarily need there to be loss of material stuff. By this definition, OP did experience discrimination, it was assumed that her actions occurred because she was white.

I have witnessed the race card being used. When it’s done in an environment entrenched in critical race theory and white privilege, it leaves no room for simply calling someone unprofessional, aggressive, moody etc as there are some non white people who will absolutely run with it if anyone who is white even raises any issues.

OP, I think you need to take a deep breath and ask yourself what you were really hoping to achieve by starting this thread. Bearing in mind that:

1. You have addressed the thread to ‘people who have genuinely experienced racism’, asking them if the family were right to discriminate against you like this.
2. The discrimination which you describe is your perception that the family were implying you were racist in their conversation about you (not that they actually called you racist to your face or that you heard them calling you racist in their conversation).

Strictly speaking, you did not experience any discrimination at the hands of the family (although by your account of the events they tried to bully you), what you are describing is prejudice, which we do not know is racial or not - you yourself have admitted that you assumed that the prejudice was based on race, based on the skin colour of the family. You did not experience discrimination, because you were not deprived of any material rights by the family - they did not take your place in the queue. Even if we accept that your assumption is correct and the family thought you were racist, what exactly are you looking for with starting this thread addressing ‘genuine victims of racism’? Sympathy? Why is it up to genuine victims of racism, who face prejudice and discrimination all their lives, to give this to you? Even if the family thought you were racist, how does this concern genuine victims of racism and why do you expect them to explain the behaviour of the family? Do you think all victims of racism think alike? Do you think victims of racism have some special insight into the minds of airport queue bullies because they share the same skin colour? Do you feel that you are entitled to be seen as not racist by people who have experienced racism, and why do you think so? You should think very carefully about these questions.

Of course it is upsetting to be seen in a light that we do not see ourselves, and this is what victims of racism have to face all the time when dealing with racial stereotypes, such as being treated as if they are aggressive when they are not, or having their intelligence underestimated, et cetera. To what lengths would you go to correct what you think is a wrong impression, and what harm can result in the process? Because I don’t see this thread you have started as very productive, and it is potentially harmful with its perpetuation of racist stereotypes (including the harmful one of victims of racism having a race card to play to get what they want).

would have, could have, should have - it’s all a hypothetical.

It didn’t happen.

Because there is no such thing as “the race card” that confers special advantages on racialised minority people. There is structural racism and the inequalities and injustices that result from that. The idea of the “race card” is a construction intended to reinforce/ deny/ deflect from the realities of structural racism.

Yes people can make false accusations of racism (although as a pp explained it’s too simplistic to say that they are motivated to do so out of calculated personal interest) but there is no meaningful advantage to be gained from this, because the risk of backlash, punishment, failure significantly outweighs any chance of benefit.

How about you talk to the people using the RACE CARD and tell them its not a game. Were all bored of it, its lost its value and that has directly affected victims of real rasism.

You have a quick win to your play book, but people have become wise and bored of it, sorry to say your ship has sailed.

What do you think would have happened had she decided not to fight it? An angel would have visited her teller her that she had to? Or a lightning bolt would have zapped the kid?

And no one on this thread (or ever!) has said that believing you have been treated differently because of your race is “pulling the race card”. Where have you got that idea from?

As has been explained again and again, although I can see why people might dislike the phrase, “pulling the race card” means where someone uses the stigma and penalties associated with a racism accusation to accuse someone of racism to gain an advantage. I realise some don’t accept that this ever happens or is even possible (despite many, many people saying it’s their lived experience!) but that’s what it means nonetheless.

I’ve not called anyone racist. I’ve merely said the mindset perpetuates racism.

Stop being disingenuous… A single, one word, response such as “wowsers” is a dismissive response, even if it tries to convey surprise too, that I don’t believe you’d have dreamt of using, based on the rest of your responses, if the OP was a person of colour.

And I’m pleased that we appear to have turned a corner in the country over the past few years, and that the corrosive “critical race theory”-based opinions spouted by @nomas , @tandora and @Westfacing are recognised for being the divisive and harmful nonsense - to people of all races - that they are. Good riddance to it.