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Original poster

Was the ‘race card’ pulled??

489 replies

Glittercloud17 · 01/08/2025 20:14

So just got back from vacation. At the airport, my daughter and I were queuing for passport control when a girl/teen pushed past in front of us. 5 seconds later I heard a lady say to me “excuse me, we just want to join our niece” pointing to the girl who’d pushed in. Without focusing too much attention on her or the family, but seeing an additional 3 people (another teen and two women) I said “sorry, but that girl just shoved in, so maybe it’s better she joins you instead” (meaning the 1 girl who’d pushed in should join her family behind my daughter and I, and not the whole family move in front of my daughter and I.

The lady said “oh, I don’t think she pushed in, darling” in a clearly sarcastic tone, but I didn’t reply as the girl/teen then walked back to join her aunt behind us.

Then I heard the woman say to the girl “you know exactly why she thinks she needs to be in front of us, this is another example”. At this stage I assume she meant I felt entitled to say this because they were a family of colour! So instead of pulling up the teen for pushing past us, the adult put the responsibility of this situation on me, insinuating I was bullying them for racially motivated reasons!!

It hadn’t even crossed my mind that they were black/white/asian whatever family! Only that a person had pushed past my daughter and I and the family felt they then had a right to go in front.

Comments continued among the adults in the family to the teens around how this was another example why the teenagers had to be more assertive “in this world” and that I, “the lady” was in the wrong.

I didn’t react, or say anything as I didn’t want to escalate something that clearly wasn’t there, and continued to look in front (not in their direction) or be accused of anything especially in an airport with a flight to catch! Later after passport control, I was standing talking to my daughter when the other adult (who I hadn’t looked at previously) violently pushed into my back as they walked past. I was very shocked by this (again I brushed this off).

People who have genuinely experienced racism - was I unreasonable, and were they justified to jump to this conclusion? I understand there’s a long, complex history around race, but I am not aware, at least on a conscious level, of discriminating against anyone like this??

OP posts:
nomas · 02/08/2025 10:39

Isitreallysohard · 02/08/2025 10:35

No one is going to say someone is being racist by not letting them push in a queue. I think there is more to this "story"

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Agreed.

Funny how these things always seem to happen to the people who think these things happen all the time.

Dangermoo · 02/08/2025 10:38

Puzzledandpissedoff · 02/08/2025 10:29

I believe the OP was asking ... about whether someone was using a racism accusation as a way of excusing bad behaviour

I know, @GoodPudding, but as we're seeing it's not a concept which is welcome to some and so the narrative's twisted in something they prefer

A shame, really, because all races contain a few people who can be downright unpleasant and I'm never quite sure what the point is in seeking to deny this when accepting that OP just happened to encounter one of them would be so much simpler

It's the white saviour syndrome. It's up to POC whether they choose to take offence; that's their right. As it's the OP's right to ask a question, without being made to feel guilty. She has done or said nothing that is racist. Playing a card - of whatever nature - is something which happens. It's because of who the players are, that there's moral outrage. Ridiculous.

Isitreallysohard · 02/08/2025 10:35

Dramatic · 02/08/2025 10:33

Because it obviously was.

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No one is going to say someone is being racist by not letting them push in a queue. I think there is more to this "story"

MarieAndTwinette · 02/08/2025 10:34

Dangermoo · 02/08/2025 10:28

No, not only don't you get to bully people into submission, but you don't get to tell them when to post. Arrogant beyond belief.

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Read my comment again. It was aimed at those with brains.

Dramatic · 02/08/2025 10:33

Isitreallysohard · 02/08/2025 10:32

Absolutely not, the family are dicks and good on OP for calling the queue jumping out, I'm just asking why she's assumed it was a race thing, when no one even said anything about that

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Because it obviously was.

Isitreallysohard · 02/08/2025 10:33

Glittercloud17 · 02/08/2025 10:31

I’m not British white. I’m Latino origin and have experienced my fair share of racism in the 80s and 90s and have laughed it off since. But ok

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OK well that explains it. So you laugh off racism.

Dramatic · 02/08/2025 10:33

gannett · 02/08/2025 10:28

One of the many sad side-effects of racism is that when you experience it a lot, it sometimes becomes your default vision. Often you're never quite sure if you're experiencing it and it's more common to realise that an odd interaction you let slide was in fact racism, so some people over-correct the next time.

The concept of "the race card" is itself deeply racist, as many posters have explained already, so that makes me wonder whether the family in the OP might not have been correct, and I wonder whether the OP is really a reliable narrator of everything that happened.

Many women have faced sexism or misogyny, you only have to look at tiktok comment sections about the England women's team to see how rife it is. That doesn't mean women have the right to accuse any man they have a disagreement with as sexist or misogynistic. That would be using the sexism card.

Isitreallysohard · 02/08/2025 10:32

Dramatic · 02/08/2025 10:29

You're really trying to absolve this family from any wrong doing aren't you? It's obvious what they meant.

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Absolutely not, the family are dicks and good on OP for calling the queue jumping out, I'm just asking why she's assumed it was a race thing, when no one even said anything about that

Original poster
Glittercloud17 · 02/08/2025 10:31

EmeraldShamrock000 · 02/08/2025 07:46

You were very polite to them.
I don't think the phrase "race card" is very nice either, as you're white.
It is racist IMO.

Edited

I’m not British white. I’m Latino origin and have experienced my fair share of racism in the 80s and 90s and have laughed it off since. But ok

OP posts:
nomas · 02/08/2025 10:31

Glittercloud17 · 02/08/2025 10:27

Because it is a more common phenomenon than you care to admit. And having a short description for this situation helps. Same goes for the ‘sexist card’ or ‘homophobia card’ (which are terms one can use in my experience) and pulling a ‘sexist card’ for me doesn’t mean it lessens the genuine sexist experiences from elsewhere. Only that it can be used in isolated incidences.

I’m always amazed at how we can’t talk about racism without people becoming so sensitive about the minutiae, like immediate cut offs. Im genuinely confused by this

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Because it is a more common phenomenon than you care to admit.

Ah, this happens to you all the time, does it?

All becomes clear.

Isitreallysohard · 02/08/2025 10:31

Glittercloud17 · 02/08/2025 10:27

Because it is a more common phenomenon than you care to admit. And having a short description for this situation helps. Same goes for the ‘sexist card’ or ‘homophobia card’ (which are terms one can use in my experience) and pulling a ‘sexist card’ for me doesn’t mean it lessens the genuine sexist experiences from elsewhere. Only that it can be used in isolated incidences.

I’m always amazed at how we can’t talk about racism without people becoming so sensitive about the minutiae, like immediate cut offs. Im genuinely confused by this

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Of course you can talk about it, but when you start a conversation with someone is "pulling the race card" it's bound to cause offence. And quite honestly if you're genuinely confused about why that would be, then it's a lost cause even trying to have a convention with you 🤷🏻‍♀️

Dramatic · 02/08/2025 10:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

You're really trying to absolve this family from any wrong doing aren't you? It's obvious what they meant.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 02/08/2025 10:29

I believe the OP was asking ... about whether someone was using a racism accusation as a way of excusing bad behaviour

I know, @GoodPudding, but as we're seeing it's not a concept which is welcome to some and so the narrative's twisted in something they prefer

A shame, really, because all races contain a few people who can be downright unpleasant and I'm never quite sure what the point is in seeking to deny this when accepting that OP just happened to encounter one of them would be so much simpler

gannett · 02/08/2025 10:28

One of the many sad side-effects of racism is that when you experience it a lot, it sometimes becomes your default vision. Often you're never quite sure if you're experiencing it and it's more common to realise that an odd interaction you let slide was in fact racism, so some people over-correct the next time.

The concept of "the race card" is itself deeply racist, as many posters have explained already, so that makes me wonder whether the family in the OP might not have been correct, and I wonder whether the OP is really a reliable narrator of everything that happened.

Dangermoo · 02/08/2025 10:28

MarieAndTwinette · 02/08/2025 10:26

playing the race card means using race to gain some advantage. So no they didn’t do that. They made a mistake. They didn’t see the teen push in and thought op was the one pushing in. It is so common for black people to experience this. They were very rude however and the pushing was out of order.

This thread is about to be derailed by ignorance so I advise those with brain cells to make their excuses and leave - which is what op has done.

No, not only don't you get to bully people into submission, but you don't get to tell them when to post. Arrogant beyond belief.

Westfacing · 02/08/2025 10:28

ComeTheMoment · 02/08/2025 10:17

But the pushers in USED their race! That is the whole point of the thread.

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Read the OP again - the pushers in did no such thing.

Isitreallysohard · 02/08/2025 10:28

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster
Glittercloud17 · 02/08/2025 10:27

Dannydevitoiloveyourart · 02/08/2025 09:57

Why do you need a term to put in its place? The whole construct of the ideology behind “race card” is based on racist stereotypes and systems of racial oppression and silencing.

There’s no equivalent term related to sexism, misogyny, homophobia- so why are you so insistent on a replacement term for this when it comes to race and racism?

Edited
Show quote history

Because it is a more common phenomenon than you care to admit. And having a short description for this situation helps. Same goes for the ‘sexist card’ or ‘homophobia card’ (which are terms one can use in my experience) and pulling a ‘sexist card’ for me doesn’t mean it lessens the genuine sexist experiences from elsewhere. Only that it can be used in isolated incidences.

I’m always amazed at how we can’t talk about racism without people becoming so sensitive about the minutiae, like immediate cut offs. Im genuinely confused by this

OP posts:
Dramatic · 02/08/2025 10:27

Whatwouldnanado · 02/08/2025 10:23

We were in a food stand queue at Disney a while ago and a lady, two kids and an elderly lady in a mobility scooter shoved in to join the man in front of us. We didn’t say anything, didn’t matter at the time just thought they were looking out for grandma whatever. The lady looked me in the eye turned to the man and said “I smell white folks…” And no, we weren’t whiffy!
My young daughter opened her mouth in astonishment, I shushed her and we turned to chat about something else. There are rude people everywhere and best ignored.

Edited

Someone will be along shortly to tell you you should evaluate how you look at things and your unconscious bias has made this incident up.

Coconutter24 · 02/08/2025 10:27

At this stage I assume she meant I felt entitled to say this because they were a family of colour!
insinuating I was bullying them for racially motivated reasons!!
It hadn’t even crossed my mind that they were black/white/asian whatever family!

You just massively contradicted yourself there, when the woman spoke to you your first thought was about skin colour but then went on to say it hadn’t even crossed your mind.

I don't think you were being racist I think it was about the queue for you. Which is understandable, 1 person push in ok let it slide but to then expect the whole family to push in you were correct to say no. They probably sent the niece ahead to push in with the hope they could all jump the queue. If anything they were racist towards you and one of them even physically tried to intimidate you!!

MarieAndTwinette · 02/08/2025 10:26

playing the race card means using race to gain some advantage. So no they didn’t do that. They made a mistake. They didn’t see the teen push in and thought op was the one pushing in. It is so common for black people to experience this. They were very rude however and the pushing was out of order.

This thread is about to be derailed by ignorance so I advise those with brain cells to make their excuses and leave - which is what op has done.

Dramatic · 02/08/2025 10:26

Isitreallysohard · 02/08/2025 10:24

It doesn't though. I could do exactly the same thing implying OP is a "Karen"

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Not really because the "us" comment implies that the op must have a problem with them specifically for a specific reason.

Dangermoo · 02/08/2025 10:24

Isitreallysohard · 02/08/2025 10:19

I still can't see where the person mentioned race? Did they specifically say this or did you assume?? Because if you replace them with a white family it wouldn't be a race thing? People of different races can argue about things you know, it doesn't have to have anything to do with race. Sounds like you've been the one who has made it a race thing. Also what's with the phrase "pulling the race card" only a racist person would think that and even use that term .... 🤔

Only a lazy person would make that assumption.🤔

Isitreallysohard · 02/08/2025 10:24

Dramatic · 02/08/2025 10:22

Their comments wouldn't make sense if they were a white family, it only really makes sense in the context of them not being white

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It doesn't though. I could do exactly the same thing implying OP is a "Karen"

Whatwouldnanado · 02/08/2025 10:23

We were in a food stand queue at Disney a while ago and a lady, two kids and an elderly lady in a mobility scooter shoved in to join the man in front of us. We didn’t say anything, didn’t matter at the time just thought they were looking out for grandma whatever. The lady looked me in the eye turned to the man and said “I smell white folks…” And no, we weren’t whiffy!
My young daughter opened her mouth in astonishment, I shushed her and we turned to chat about something else. There are rude people everywhere and best ignored.

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