Was the ‘race card’ pulled??

I didn't automatically assume that the comment was about race. Maybe she thought OP had a superior attitude.
Snotty? Above others? OP came to the conclusion that it was race related.

They could have been talking about anything. Conflicts happen all the time. People say all sorts in these type of situation.

I’m concerned about the lack of willingness of people on this thread to acknowledge any potential influence of subconscious racism. We all suffer from this. It doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you a human person in a racist society. This quote I think is really helpful.

"The problem is that white people see racism as conscious hate, when racism is bigger than that. Racism is a complex system of social and political levers and pulleys set up generations ago to continue working on the behalf of whites at other people's expense, whether whites know/like it or not. Racism is an insidious cultural disease. It is so insidious that it doesn't care if you are a white person who likes Black people; it's still going to find a way to infect how you deal with people who don't look like you. Yes, racism looks like hate, but hate is just one manifestation. Privilege is another. Access is another. Ignorance is another. Apathy is another. And so on. So while I agree with people who say no one is born racist, it remains a powerful system that we're immediately born into. It's like being born into air: you take it in as soon as you breathe. It's not a cold that you can get over. There is no anti-racist certification class. It's a set of socioeconomic traps and cultural values that are fired up every time we interact with the world. It is a thing you have to keep scooping out of the boat of your life to keep from drowning in it. I know it's hard work, but it's the price you pay for owning everything."
-Scott Woods

@gannett

The concept of "the race card" is itself deeply racist

I’m not sure how concept that someone might choose to gaslight someone by falsely accusing them of racism to deflect from their or others’ poor behaviour is “deeply racist”, unless you believe that people of colour haven’t evolved to have moral agency and aren’t capable of doing both good and bad…. which itself would be an extraordinarily racist thing to believe.

I believe that people of colour, like white people, as human beings have full moral agency and are capable of good and bad.

Like their white counterparts, some will act in bad faith and gaslight others for their own advantage (with false accusations of racism being one way of doing that) . Please stop infantising and dehumanising people of colour by presuming that they can’t - it’s disgusting and very racist.

Realistically, what else could she have meant talking about a person she didn’t know?

No, because we’re in a country where riots are started by lies that a killer was of a certain religion.

So sue me if I look at these complaints of people ‘pulling the race card’ with skepticism.

For the person playing, playing the race card. Yes 🤣

I've never witnessed anyone be a victim of racism, doesn't mean I deny it's existence.

Oh I see. And because many people use that expression it suddenly becomes OK does it? Don't be so ridiculous- it's an offensive term and both you and op are being racist by using that terminology.

Exactly, so when someone deflects from the action by trying to make it about racism, they’re playing with and abusing the word “racism”, and so “playing the race card” is an apt description.

Because it is a more common phenomenon than you care to admit

What are you basing this on? I've never been accused of racism in my life, I also can't recall an instance of witnessing someone else being accused of racism unless they actually said or did something that was blatantly racist.

I’m always amazed at how we can’t talk about racism without people becoming so sensitive about the minutiae, like immediate cut offs. Im genuinely confused by this

But you haven't started a thread about racism. You've started a thread about your experience of being falsely accused of racism, or rather your belie that you have been falsely accused of racism, since race was not mentioned during the incident. Interestingly, when anyone on MN does start a thread about their own experience of racism, there are always multiple posters falling over themselves to excuse, explain away or minimise their experience.

Also, no one has attempted to 'cut you off' or told you that you're not allowed to talk about racism. A few people have simply attempted to explain to you why the phrase "pulling the race card" is offensive. You've also had lots of supportive posts from people reassuring you that you've done nothing wrong and that the pushing in family are twats and dickheads.

No, as I have posted a couple of times, what it seems the OP was trying to convey was whether people had used a false accusation of racism to deflect from their own or others’ poor behaviour. That’s the phenomenon that we’re apparently not allowed to admit might exist, and for which a word or phrase cannot (whatever it might be) be used for it… it’s like it’s the Left’s very own Lord Voldemort!

I take it you will ask for that, on every single AIBU thread. You're going to be a busy bee.

Exactly! It's not about race.

Funny how these things always seem to happen to the people who think these things happen all the time

Does that also apply to people of colour whose perceptions of racism are automatically accepted by some because "it happens to them all the time", @nomas, or are they exempt from the expectation that because someone's behaved badly it's no reason to damn an entire group?

Pictures or it didn’t happen.

Wow, that's quite amazing how you did that! 😆

Totally agree.

You're an inconvenience. I think every time I'm told I have white privilege, I'm going to call it racist. After all, it's a label used, most often.

I don't even believe this BS story. Do you honestly think a minority race is going to kick off that someone didn't let the whole family all push ahead in the queue? Have you ever seen or heard of such an absurd scenario ever? This is just a goady thread and has riled up a bunch of people who would love to believe this shit happens in real life. Slow clap for you all 👏 👏 👏

This is a great post. They could have been bitching about anything. To jump to thinking it is about race is assumptive on your part.

@Glittercloud17 sorry this happened.

They just sound like dickheads. Dickheads come in all colours unfortunately.

Hope you are ok. I am embarrassed for them as a black woman.

There is a differernce between a bias and a reasonable guess.

Obviously someone who was the same race as the OP isn't going to accuse her of racism in a scenario like that.

In this scenario, it does seem like it's the most likely explanation for what they were insinuating. It's possible they were saying she looks posh, or she's English, but that seems a lot less likely.

And in the less likely scenario where they weren't being dishonest pisstakers and really thought she was in the wrong - then it's actually an example of their bias - they assumed she was not wanting them in line because she was a racist and white, not because she thought they were butting in..

Well in that vain no one is going to be racist by not allowing someone to stand in front of them in a queue

The teen should not have pushed in - that's plain rude.

As for the adults, did they realise their daughter pushed in or did they genuinely think that she was in the queue before you hence misunderstanding the situation which then led to their discussion about race?

Although this actually makes the situation worse - why would they not simply ask the daughter if she was in the queue before you got there?

It all sounds weird to be honest but you did well not reacting to any of it.