To think most men wouldn’t survive a year living the life of an average woman?

We really need to bring back the laugh reaction.

Bloody hell do you live in stepford? 😂

Quite the opposite- we have time to read avidly and widely, and to encourage our children to. We have time to regularly visit our local library, spending time there reading together after school, more in the school holidays. We don’t like hurrying and rushing around buying things at the click of a button.

I've said NBU but I'm sure they'd "survive" - things just (a) wouldn't be done or (b) would be done in a slapdash fashion.
I think the main thing they HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT and should be taught is the "scared" business. There should be one night per week when we're allowed to frighten them in the street with no comeback from them!
Then they might get an idea of the way they make us exist.

Books? Do wives at home not read, then?

When my husband has ever been to the doctor they always take his health concerns very seriously and yet when I have similar issues I get fobbed off. Statistically Women are far less likely to be prescribed pain meds or referred to a specialist and take longer to get formal diagnoses for their conditions. Then the drugs are tested on men even when the condition primarily affects women. I think if men were treated like women in the medical sphere there would be outcry.

I honestly don’t recognise the situation that you’re describing op. I’ve brought my sons up differently and all the men in my family are the complete opposite of the ones that you’re describing and my life is definitely not a day to day grind.

Proving my point exactly. And I can highly recommend an elderflower cordial with ice out in one’s garden whilst entertaining 👌🏻

Fuck me 🤣☝️.

Wives at home prefer walking and live frugally.
Yes, and on really special occasions they treat themselves to a glass of elderflower cordial after lifting their nightdress.

Are you for real?

And the criticism you describe generally comes from…other women. This, plus the fact women take on so much extra stuff we don’t need to and worry needlessly about inconsequential things is the root of the problem. So I generally think men would be fine if they had to ‘deal with’ the things women do because they just don’t care or judge others the way we do.

Think of the endless threads on here from school mums tearing “unfriendly mum cliques” at the school gate to shreds because those mums do not talk to them. Some of us obsess and stress over making friends with a complete bunch of strangers while I have yet to meet a man who cares about making friends with other dads on the school run.

The women who choose to spend time and energy buying presents for their in-laws and then come onto MN to complain. Why? The world will not stop turning if your MIL doesn’t get that hand-cream set for her birthday. If your DH isn’t bothered, why are you? It really doesn’t matter if your in-laws criticise you for not buying the presents. Just ignore and crack on. It’s what men do!

Actually, we don't crumble. We get organised. I earned more than my DP most of my working life. I was the one with the grit and persistence to get better qualifications and to work hard. Oh and l did the majority of looking after DD.

Some wives at home…..

Wives at home actually save their husbands a fortune on childcare, cleaners, gardeners, painters and decorators, second cars (they prefer walking), Ubers, expensive supermarkets, takeaways, take out hot drinks (never!), full priced items generally (they prioritise living frugally), books, window cleaners, car washing, beauty treatments (do their own), hair cuts. Wise up and check your judgment!

I don't feel my life is a daily grind. To the extent my life ever was a grind, that was when I was young with a lot of MH issues, and actually quite few responsibilities.

My 82yo dad is having a lot of health issues while my 82yo step-mum is skipping merrily and very healthily into old age. Their main difference is biologicl: men get more health problems at a younger age than women. I'd rather be her than him for sure.

Heck as a child when I was bullied a lot I was always grateful to be a girl. the boys had much worse bullying. Bullies were M&F btw.

Hmm maybe I don't relate to all this " woman martyr" stuff as I grew up with a single father family. Therefore it was the norm that Dad could deal with stuff perfectly well. Also means I've expected every partner to be competent and be able to do stuff and not be expecting me to do basic things for them

It's getting that way.

I completely accept that things were different in the past, with "a women's place is in the kitchen" attitude prevailing.

Things are changing, as they should. And hopefully will continue to change as the next generation grow up and take charge with different attitudes to those of my generation and the ones that went before.

I am all in favour of equal pay for the same jobs, and the same opportunities available to all. First and foremost we are all just people, trying to have a decent standard of living.

But there are quite often physical and emotional differences between the average male and the average female. We are different and quite often go about things differently, that's fine.

What I do find irritating is the endless misandry on these threads. It's no better than misogyny.

Wellaybe that translates as women making extra work for themselves putting in " more effort" when it's obviously not necessary

I don't recognise any of this in the slightest.

I think a lot of women choose to put unrealistic expectations on themselves and then complain about it.

Ive seen a few plus you only have to read MN.

I agree to an extent but men don’t have those expectations on us mainly because we have an ability to give less of a fuck about what other people think. If someone put that expectation on me I would brush it off. I know I’m doing my best, fuck everyone else and what they think

Also on the nuggets every night point I know loads of mum’s who do that without judging each other.

I think the issue is women get judged far more harshly than men. So if presents and cards don’t get sent to in laws suddenly it’s the wife’s ‘fault’ as much as the husband’s. ( perhaps even more so).

If a dad ‘copes’ by feeding his kids chicken nuggets for a week, while working and doing some minimal housework, he’ll be applauded for how ‘hands on’ he is. The bar, when it comes to domestic stuff and life admin, is much lower for men than it is for women.

And I know some women put themselves under ridiculous pressure to do it all and that perhaps feeds some of these societal expectations.

But then you see it all the time with stupid content about bikini bodies and beauty ideals and how much women judge other women for working or for staying at home etc… men just don’t have these kinds of expectations put on them. So I agree they would struggle if they had to face the constant criticism and judgement that women often face.

@CatHairEveryWhereNow At one point the DCs were on the child protection register because of their mum's issues and I was primary carer. The school knew about this, not least because the head teacher (who was great) was heavily involved and we'd had several of the social services meetings in the head's office. My name was most definitely down as the primary contact.

When my DD had an accident, guess who the receptionist called?

Just to chip in here, my wife died leaving me to raise our three year old daughter alone. I have not cumbled. We are both thriving.

But what I did to survive was not put unnecessary pressure on myself. I don’t need to do a perfect Christmas, I don’t try to remember everyone’s birthday, I do the best I can to survive. That is what men do. Drop the externals concentrate on the vital things and do those well

I can't say I know any of them.