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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think most men wouldn’t survive a year living the life of an average woman?

932 replies

ThatRealLimeBee · 01/08/2025 20:12

The daily grind of sexism, safety worries, juggling expectations, emotional labour… Most men have no idea. AIBU to think they’d crumble under the load if they had to swap lives with us for a year?

OP posts:
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7
Disposableusername374 · 02/08/2025 17:39

Thinking of children I know who are being raised by a single dad, there is a missing layer of care there that makes my heart hurt. The universe thinks dad is a superhero!
They couldn’t cope with the standards women set themselves, no.

SleeplessInWherever · 02/08/2025 17:35

ThankYouNigel · 02/08/2025 16:22

More fool you then. You can stick wasting time doing it yourself or paying someone else to.

My DH trusts me over anyone to manage his money, and he is one happy man with the decisions I’ve made over the past 20 years, that’s for sure! We trust each other over anyone.

Edited

I would far rather pay someone to look after my money, if it meant my husband had a job and contributed some of that money that required management.

MyUmberSeal · 02/08/2025 17:22

CyanDreamer · 02/08/2025 17:16

I am not sure I would want to survive a year living the life of an average bloke 😂Some countries and culture are hell on earth, but I am not talking about that.

I feel bloody lucky to be a woman in modern England, best of both worlds! I can be anything I want, play the woman's card, be strong, be weak, I have access to everything and anything a man has access to, plus a few female-only things. It's bloody brilliant. It's normal to be a successful career woman, it's also normal to be a SAHM. We have choices.

I wish some women could stop presenting us like weak born-victims, it makes us all look stupid.I have no idea where these women meet all these men who "hate women", it's never something I experience in real life. People hating a certain colour or race? plenty. People hating woman? nope. It does not happen.

I agree. It’s quite often the women that have been in multiple failed relationships that have it in for men, because all the men are apparently awful, but they fail to see they are the common denominator.

CyanDreamer · 02/08/2025 17:16

I am not sure I would want to survive a year living the life of an average bloke 😂Some countries and culture are hell on earth, but I am not talking about that.

I feel bloody lucky to be a woman in modern England, best of both worlds! I can be anything I want, play the woman's card, be strong, be weak, I have access to everything and anything a man has access to, plus a few female-only things. It's bloody brilliant. It's normal to be a successful career woman, it's also normal to be a SAHM. We have choices.

I wish some women could stop presenting us like weak born-victims, it makes us all look stupid.I have no idea where these women meet all these men who "hate women", it's never something I experience in real life. People hating a certain colour or race? plenty. People hating woman? nope. It does not happen.

SugarSoiree · 02/08/2025 17:06

ThankYouNigel · 02/08/2025 16:20

Never underestimate either the intelligence or financial astuteness of a diligent housewife.

If I spent an hour chatting over coffee (prepared at my domestic haven, of course) with anyone laughing at me on here then I guarantee you’d leave with personalised advice that would save and make you substantially more with what you currently have.

This can't be for real 😂

I mean obviously the best advice is get a husband to pay for it for you!

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 02/08/2025 17:03

ThankYouNigel · 02/08/2025 16:20

Never underestimate either the intelligence or financial astuteness of a diligent housewife.

If I spent an hour chatting over coffee (prepared at my domestic haven, of course) with anyone laughing at me on here then I guarantee you’d leave with personalised advice that would save and make you substantially more with what you currently have.

OK, I'm listening 😁

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 02/08/2025 16:55

MyUmberSeal · 01/08/2025 20:24

Women are such martyrs.
Men can cope, and not all women feel burdened by their gender.

Couldn't agree more 👏

Boomer55 · 02/08/2025 16:48

Men and women have different, strengths, different weaknesses and different pressures. Hopefully, in a good relationship, they complement each other.🤷‍♀️

ThankYouNigel · 02/08/2025 16:22

SleeplessInWherever · 02/08/2025 15:55

Where do you live, because it sounds like the 1950’s.

I absolutely wouldn’t dream of allowing someone who wasn’t earning money, to act as some sort of accountant for me.

More fool you then. You can stick wasting time doing it yourself or paying someone else to.

My DH trusts me over anyone to manage his money, and he is one happy man with the decisions I’ve made over the past 20 years, that’s for sure! We trust each other over anyone.

ThankYouNigel · 02/08/2025 16:20

RubySquid · 02/08/2025 16:16

That's not a housewife that's someone moving a business from home

Never underestimate either the intelligence or financial astuteness of a diligent housewife.

If I spent an hour chatting over coffee (prepared at my domestic haven, of course) with anyone laughing at me on here then I guarantee you’d leave with personalised advice that would save and make you substantially more with what you currently have.

PocketSand · 02/08/2025 16:20

I have just reread ‘The Power’ by Naomi Alderman. The role reversal of men being afraid to walk in certain areas at night because of fear is compelling because it highlights what is normal for women. Women and girls are at more risk from strangers and familiars. You need to include social class into risk between sexes when saying that young men are at greater risk.

Work/life balance is secondary but also significant once DC enter the picture.

ThankYouNigel · 02/08/2025 16:18

SleeplessInWherever · 02/08/2025 15:56

Mortgage free because her husband/cash machine bought her a house.

Great job 👏🏻😂

It’s not actually for me, it’s for my children- so yeah I am delighted for them! 🥂 Not that it’s any of your business, but if my DH died tomorrow everything goes straight to our children, not me (my decision, and same vice versa- I personally drew up our wills years ago so they are absolutely watertight. I’d actually advise anyone to do the same- prevents any future spouses getting their hands on your own DCs inheritance). I don’t give a stuff any of it, came from nothing myself 😊

RubySquid · 02/08/2025 16:16

ThankYouNigel · 02/08/2025 15:49

Yes, a frugal housewife will always save her DH money. Many are also extremely adept with making sound financial investment decisions on their DH’s behalf (fully leading on constantly researching and switching about their mortgage, savings and investments to max interest rates) and overseeing the day-to-day running of multiple joint buy-to-let investment properties, for example (I don’t, disagree with them in principle, but know others who do).

That's not a housewife that's someone moving a business from home

SleeplessInWherever · 02/08/2025 15:56

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 02/08/2025 15:41

Have a medal 🙄

Mortgage free because her husband/cash machine bought her a house.

Great job 👏🏻😂

SleeplessInWherever · 02/08/2025 15:55

ThankYouNigel · 02/08/2025 15:49

Yes, a frugal housewife will always save her DH money. Many are also extremely adept with making sound financial investment decisions on their DH’s behalf (fully leading on constantly researching and switching about their mortgage, savings and investments to max interest rates) and overseeing the day-to-day running of multiple joint buy-to-let investment properties, for example (I don’t, disagree with them in principle, but know others who do).

Where do you live, because it sounds like the 1950’s.

I absolutely wouldn’t dream of allowing someone who wasn’t earning money, to act as some sort of accountant for me.

ThankYouNigel · 02/08/2025 15:49

RubySquid · 02/08/2025 15:44

Even if they don't have kids? Or the kids aren't his?

Yes, a frugal housewife will always save her DH money. Many are also extremely adept with making sound financial investment decisions on their DH’s behalf (fully leading on constantly researching and switching about their mortgage, savings and investments to max interest rates) and overseeing the day-to-day running of multiple joint buy-to-let investment properties, for example (I don’t, disagree with them in principle, but know others who do).

ThankYouNigel · 02/08/2025 15:46

SleeplessInWherever · 02/08/2025 15:43

I can guarantee you that becoming a SAH wife would not make me lose interest in Starbucks, driving, or make me develop an interest in painting and decorating.

Carry on wasting money on those things then…Starbucks are certainly laughing all the way to the bank at your expense!

RubySquid · 02/08/2025 15:44

ThankYouNigel · 02/08/2025 12:40

Wives at home actually save their husbands a fortune on childcare, cleaners, gardeners, painters and decorators, second cars (they prefer walking), Ubers, expensive supermarkets, takeaways, take out hot drinks (never!), full priced items generally (they prioritise living frugally), books, window cleaners, car washing, beauty treatments (do their own), hair cuts. Wise up and check your judgment!

Even if they don't have kids? Or the kids aren't his?

SleeplessInWherever · 02/08/2025 15:44

ThankYouNigel · 02/08/2025 15:35

I’m too busy laughing at all the people I know who have normalised being in significant amounts of debt (frittering money away on rubbish and being unable to say ‘no’) whilst I’m mortgage-free in my thirties with loads of savings. Being in debt is not a laughing matter, or constantly contributing to our environmental crisis. Saying ‘no’ to unnecessary consumerism is empowering.

Saying no to consumerism maybe is empowering, but it sounds boring.

SleeplessInWherever · 02/08/2025 15:43

ThankYouNigel · 02/08/2025 12:40

Wives at home actually save their husbands a fortune on childcare, cleaners, gardeners, painters and decorators, second cars (they prefer walking), Ubers, expensive supermarkets, takeaways, take out hot drinks (never!), full priced items generally (they prioritise living frugally), books, window cleaners, car washing, beauty treatments (do their own), hair cuts. Wise up and check your judgment!

I can guarantee you that becoming a SAH wife would not make me lose interest in Starbucks, driving, or make me develop an interest in painting and decorating.

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 02/08/2025 15:41

ThankYouNigel · 02/08/2025 15:35

I’m too busy laughing at all the people I know who have normalised being in significant amounts of debt (frittering money away on rubbish and being unable to say ‘no’) whilst I’m mortgage-free in my thirties with loads of savings. Being in debt is not a laughing matter, or constantly contributing to our environmental crisis. Saying ‘no’ to unnecessary consumerism is empowering.

Have a medal 🙄

ThankYouNigel · 02/08/2025 15:35

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 02/08/2025 15:09

We really need to bring back the laugh reaction.

I’m too busy laughing at all the people I know who have normalised being in significant amounts of debt (frittering money away on rubbish and being unable to say ‘no’) whilst I’m mortgage-free in my thirties with loads of savings. Being in debt is not a laughing matter, or constantly contributing to our environmental crisis. Saying ‘no’ to unnecessary consumerism is empowering.

Createausername1970 · 02/08/2025 15:19

ruethewhirl · 02/08/2025 15:12

If this was real life I'd be scannig pp's back at this point, trying to see where the battery compartment was.

🤣🤣

Createausername1970 · 02/08/2025 15:15

ThankYouNigel · 02/08/2025 12:40

Wives at home actually save their husbands a fortune on childcare, cleaners, gardeners, painters and decorators, second cars (they prefer walking), Ubers, expensive supermarkets, takeaways, take out hot drinks (never!), full priced items generally (they prioritise living frugally), books, window cleaners, car washing, beauty treatments (do their own), hair cuts. Wise up and check your judgment!

What??

I was a SAHM for a while. I didn't regard my lovely DH as a cash machine, but I did and still do have a car, had takeaways, had coffee out with friends, had a window cleaner and went to the hairdressers and had spa/beauty treatments.

I didn't stop being a person.

ruethewhirl · 02/08/2025 15:12

SugarSoiree · 02/08/2025 14:31

Bloody hell do you live in stepford? 😂

If this was real life I'd be scannig pp's back at this point, trying to see where the battery compartment was.