To think most men wouldn’t survive a year living the life of an average woman?

And it’s any of your business/affects your life in any way because…

What trad-wife bollocks is this 😂

why are you so judgemental? What is it to you?

People with that now outdated attitude of yours are part of the reason why SAH dads are looked in such a negative way - because it goes both way. By implying that the SAH partner is inferior in any way, it applies to men too.

I don't care if it's same or different sex marriage. If one is happy to stay home and the other to work full time, no one is superior or getting "free lifestyle" from the other. You don't know the details, you don't know how the arrangements work.

I would think someone in their 30s is young enough to be a bit more open-minded and modern.

I’m very proud of my decisions too. It’s a free choice to be a housewife in 2025, and the past is far superior to modern times in many ways. At least people knew how to hold a conversation, say please and thank you, RSVP, not cancel last minute for flaky reasons, survive without mobile phones, dress properly in public, show a bit of pride in keeping their homes clean and gardens tidy, etc.

We’ll have to agree to disagree. I don’t feel any resentment towards you or your different decisions, so I will wish you a very good and peaceful evening.

I’m not “very cross” at housewives specifically.

I’m “very cross” at anyone who appears to still live in the past, and uses phrases like “diligent housewife” and “domestic haven” whilst condescending the rest of us about how much allegedly “better” their lives are.

To be clear, I’m cross about that because it’s a level of patriarchal brainwashing, and lack of both ambition and independence that I cannot get on board with.

You’re taking the rest of us back over with you. This isn’t the 1950’s - it’s 2025. Wake up.

Finally - thanks for your concern, but I’m as busy as I’m happy to be. I have a 50/50 household, in all respects, and I’m not beheld to anyone for that, particularly not a man. What I have, I either earned or contributed to, by working, and there’s a pride in that not engaging with the modern world (in your 30’s 😂😂) won’t give you.

Well if that year involved, pregnancy, giving birth and breastfeeding then I agree!

DH wouldn't do as much cleaning, he wouldnt do much for birthdays or Christmas, he wouldn't make an effort to keep in touch with relatives, and be crap at remembering school events, he'd probably forgot to pay bills on time, or take car for an Mot, and stop most after school or weekend activities- this is all evidenced by experience!
He is very good at prioritising what he wants to do without any guilt, whereas I tend to put family responsibilities first.
I think he'd pare everything down to basics and not even attempt to juggle or take on the full mental load that I I'd do.

You make a lot of assumptions. You have no idea:

• If the woman paid off the mortgage whilst working before leaving her job.
• If the woman has inheritance money from her own family.
• If either has won the lottery.
• If the woman has alternative means of income, eg hosting language students.
• If either has received compensation from an injury, court settlement, etc.

People are different. Many women refuse to burn themselves out rushing through their lives. Funnily enough, some people refuse to be ‘busy’ every hour of the day. I loath the modern day competitiveness of who is the busiest. I have literally no desire to engage with it.

You come across as very cross towards housewives on many threads. It may be worth seriously asking yourself why that it is. You won’t change or stop people enjoying the many advantages this lifestyle has to offer. If you are overworked/stressed/too busy, I’d recommend changing that ASAP. It’s bad for your health.

Okay. Thank you for clarifying.

Your husband bought you half a house. That was left out of your “mortgage free in your 30s” comment earlier. You’re mortgage free through your husband’s doing, or so it sounds.

I’m in my 30’s, and I’m honestly staggered that there are people of our age group that have such, IMO dated, views. I’m genuinely baffled that there are women in their 30s talking about “diligent housewifery.”

This. If you choose and enable a useless man then that’s your problem. Not all men are like this.

I’ll explain, as many are sadly still unaware of how to throughly draft a will, or even have one at all. I’m always shocked when I talk to people generally at how few have really made their priorities clear legally.

We own everything in both our names. If 1 dies, the other of course maintains the half in their name. The half of the spouse who dies legally belongs to their children, but the surviving spouse has lifetime living rights to the property. The children of course cannot evict their surviving parent whilst alive, and they may not even be informed by either parent that they already own half. Many don’t tell their children.

What it ensures is two things:
A. If the surviving spouse remarries and they were to divorce/have more children, neither the new spouse or new children have any claim whatsoever to the half from the first marriage, which is legally the original children’s.
B. Depending on the age/health of the surviving spouse, that half is also free from any elderly care cost assessments.

Don't be ridiculous. It's a woman's world these days. I feel heart sorry for men they can't do right for doing wrong because of women. It's very unfair.

Some men would struggle. Some would be great.

my Dad brought us up as a single parent and held everything himself. Worked, no outside childcare, Xmas and birthdays, appointments.

He also dealt with lots of sexism and prejudice as a single dad. Maybe not the safety issues that some women have but definitely had some struggles.

He set a great example to me and my brother, who incidentally is a great dad and husband now.

I couldn't agree more.

Not only have I never felt unsafe running at any time, but men are the ones who politely get out of my path - sometimes with a bit of shuffling when we both try to change direction in the distance - while some women rudely expect everyone to get out of their way 😂

If a man runs behind me and then overtakes me, I don't take it as a personal aggression either. I don't expect him to slow down to make me feel safe 🙄. The poor bloke runs faster than me, off he goes.

I genuinely don't have any safety concerns. I walk alone for hours everyday and have never had a single issue with a man making me feel unsafe. I've certainly never worried about being attacked or raped because a man is walking behind me.

I wish people wouldn't assume they speak for all women.

what a horrible thing to say

I have a few single dads around me, divorced or sadly widower. I also have a couple of gay friends who adopted, so 2 men...

You might have met a twat that is a bad parent, sadly it's not gender-related.
Dads are just as good as mums.

What is shocking is the behaviour and attitude of some women who try to reject them from parents things because they are male. I am not talking about breast-feeding groups, but groups who are trying to exclude them because they are MALE. And presenting themselves as male. Shocking and disgusting.

They'd be fine. I know loads of useless, flaky women..usually with an added 'diagnosis ' to justify themselves. Either gender has it's good and bad individuals.

Tbh, the hardest thing that I have to deal with in my life is the pressure of being the main breadwinner. It far outweighs any of the experiences that I have "as a woman". Although caring for elderly relatives comes a close second.

So much depends on individual circumstances, personal strengths and weaknesses etc. You can't generalise.

You mean like the sexism towards men that you have outlined here in your OP?

YABU and ridiculous. ‘Daily grind of sexism’ 😂

What do you mean there's a missing layer of care?

I don't think the average man has the faintest clue about women's safety concerns. How many men need to consider whether the woman walking behind them is about to rape and murder them? How many men on an evening run get a random woman yelling from a car at them? And the list goes on, to say nothing of every day "casual" misogyny. I wonder how well they'd cope with any of that.

Ain't that the truth.

Some women cant live without a man on MN.
Out of one mess and dive to the next with in weeks.
Some not even divorce yet and on dating sites i mean just chill stay single for a while because when you are truly happy being single and on your own you know what you really want.

I can only speak for my ex, OP but he always looked outraged if I asked him to do any chores or to look after ds or collect him from nursery. He'd look at me like I had two heads and say "you know I can't. I work !" as if he deserved a sodding medal for managing a 9-5.

So we left when ds was 2.

Since then, I've worked full time for 15 years, I've cared for ds 345 mornings, evenings & nights each year. I've managed all childcare, holiday clubs, school issues, and homework. I've done every school run, parents evening, sports day, nativity play, doctors and dentist appointments. I've bought and renovated a 4 bed house. Now we're driving around the country doing university open days

Somewhere in the middle of all that I found time to have a mastectomy, chemo and radiotherapy, while still working full time.

Ex on his weekly visit to see ds, didn't notice anything was wrong, just moaned about how driving his luxury automatic made his leg ache. 😂😂😂

Life is much easier without him in tow but I have high hopes for my ds who knows how to use the washing machine, the dishwasher and the cooker.

He can turn out a decent omelette, an outstanding salad and makes a mean curry. And leaves the kitchen tidy. He makes his own bed and is familiar with the hoover and the loo brush.

By the time he's 21 I'm hopeful he will be completely independent. 😊

Sorry - you’ve spent your married life looking after a man, being a diligent housewife (whatever that means), and sacrificing having your own independence or income… and as far as I can see will be left with absolutely nothing in the event something happens.

You’ve given everything up, for… what? Your home, any funds, anything - nothing.

Well pardon me but I don’t think I’d like more financial advice, because that doesn’t make any financial sense.

Let’s hope your kids look after you.

Men don't have as high parenting expectations out on them, but they DO have cultural expectations to be successful at work/breadwinners - and judgement about being stay at home Dads, for example. And most men clearly do "give a fuck" about those expectations, because so few men take up the SAHD role, because of the judgement they'd get. So men are equally influenced by what others think tbh