To think most men wouldn’t survive a year living the life of an average woman?

Shows how little people understand the role these days. My children are being brought up to understand and respect what housewives do.

The problem is people judging me who downright lie about their own level of financial independence.

I would like to know out of all the posters who have been ganging up on me who truthfully could, if their DH left tomorrow and refused to contribute financially, still (without upping their hours) cover everything themselves that is currently needed to maintain their current lifestyle exactly as it is? If you cant, then you are also financially dependent on your DH.

Stop lying and own it!

The problem is people judging me who downright lie about their own level of financial independence.

I would like to know out of all the posters who have been ganging up on me who truthfully could, if their DH left tomorrow and refused to contribute financially, still (without upping their hours) cover everything themselves that is currently needed to maintain their current lifestyle exactly as it is? If you cant, then you are also financially dependent on your DH.

Stop lying and own it!

Nobody is trying to stop you living your life the way you want to. Stop being so dramatic. The problem is YOU trying to stop other women making a different choice to you. I hate to break it to you but nurseries aren’t going anywhere so you need to just accept that.

Just own your choice instead of trying to justify it by putting other people down. It just makes you sound like a complete dick tbh.
It is possible to have different views and still be respectful.

Do you say these out loud to people in real life? If so I can’t imagine you have many friends.

Oh and I bet you are also financially dependent on your DH- if he left tomorrow, I’d bet my house that you couldn’t survive on your own without him on your own earnings as an individual. Most can’t, but like to feel superior for working any token amount of hours. Most of the hours my friends who do work covers a few holidays etc and is a drop in the ocean compared to what their DH’s cover- still financially dependent factually 😂

You choosing to be a housewife is cool. You describing yourself as a "Professional Housewife" is a fascinating mix of comical and cringeworthy.

Do your red clown nose and big shoes get in the way when you're rearranging your children's wall art?

Yes, you're right. By her logic @ThankYouNigels husband is not raising his own kids. But it's all double standards with her isn't it?

She calls post partum women pathetic for needing help with their toddlers, she says it's disgusting that women are swanning off to gasp the gym! And beauty appointments! While grandparents look after their children! You know she wouldn't bat an eyelid at fathers going to the barbers or the gym and she actually calls nurseries immoral.

It's all so clear that it's all about expecting women to be subservient once they become mothers, all a man has to do is work while a woman shouldn't even expect to get her hair cut until her baby goes to school four years later. It's misogynistic and totally absurd.

Although she calls women weak for needing a break from their own kids which she finds appalling, she overlooks the fact that she gets 30 hours a week break from hers, whilst having no pressure to work so can do as she pleases in that time and says that if she had to work and then do housework on top or god forbid, ask her husband to share the house work with her, it would put strain on her marriage. So she hardly sounds resilient herself. She just thinks it's wrong for women to not be everyone's maid and actually want things for themselves.

Just garden variety internalised misogyny.

And yes, @ThankYouNigel you are dependant on your husband, you only have the cushty life where you come and go as you please and have all the time in the world to ferry kids around because he bank rolls you. Nothing in life is free, you have to pay for it, and if he wasn't paying, you would have to actually work for a living. Working parents pay through the nose for their kids childcare when they aren't available to pick up at certain times or anything else, we certainly aren't relying on any free labour. We aren't dependent on grandparents and most working parents aren't, you just have a very narrow, negative view of them because you want them to be less than you to feel superior.

We strongly disagree about what children need and how to raise children. Do you honestly think young children give a stuff about their parent’s qualifications, jobs, hobbies, whatever? No, they live on the moment and care about who is there for them when they need something or are upset.

I would never, ever have dropped a baby or toddler at a nursery, left them there screaming and crying until they were sick (and yes, people have told me this has happened- I listen in utter horror) or subdued until submission, and been able to go about my day feeling like a good person. No wonder people bang on about the inaccurate need for babies to ‘socialise’ to minimise the emotional harm they are causing, and actually damage to their neural brain connections. Cannot wait for this to change!!!

Oh and there’s absolutely nothing you can do to stop me living my life exactly how I want and thinking exactly what I like- so deal with it!!!

We strongly disagree about what children need and how to raise children. Do you honestly think young children give a stuff about their parent’s qualifications, jobs, hobbies, whatever? No, they live on the moment and care about who is there for them when they need something or are upset.

I would never, ever have dropped a baby or toddler at a nursery, left them there screaming and crying until they were sick (and yes, people have told me this has happened- I listen in utter horror) or subdued until submission, and been able to go about my day feeling like a good person. No wonder people bang on about the inaccurate need for babies to ‘socialise’ to minimise the emotional harm they are causing, and actually damage to their neural brain connections. Cannot wait for this to change!!!

Oh and there’s absolutely nothing you can do to stop me living my life exactly how I want and thinking exactly what I like- so deal with it!!!

Well I’m here mortgage-free enjoying my immaculate home and delightful children reaping the rewards of my wise choice 😊🥂👏🏻

And?

I might not be mortgage free but I have a shit hot house in a gorgeous part of the world. It’s immaculate as well. We could have been mortgage free a while ago but chose to invest in a property in our dream location. Something we couldn’t have done on one income.
So my delightful child is reaping the rewards of a duel income household.

So not sure what point you’re trying to make?

Well I’m here mortgage-free enjoying my immaculate home and delightful children reaping the rewards of my wise choice 😊🥂👏🏻

I’ve got two full time jobs already thanks- Full Time Mother and Professional Housewife. You know, the ones that actually matter.

"Professional Housewife" with capitals and everything. That never stops being funny!

Yes, you're right. By her logic @ThankYouNigels husband is not raising his own kids. But it's all double standards with her isn't it?

She calls post partum women pathetic for needing help with their toddlers, she says it's disgusting that women are swanning off to gasp the gym! And beauty appointments! While grandparents look after their children! You know she wouldn't bat an eyelid at fathers going to the barbers or the gym and she actually calls nurseries immoral.

It's all so clear that it's all about expecting women to be subservient once they become mothers, all a man has to do is work while a woman shouldn't even expect to get her hair cut until her baby goes to school four years later. It's misogynistic and totally absurd.

Although she calls women weak for needing a break from their own kids which she finds appalling, she overlooks the fact that she gets 30 hours a week break from hers, whilst having no pressure to work so can do as she pleases in that time and says that if she had to work and then do housework on top or god forbid, ask her husband to share the house work with her, it would put strain on her marriage. So she hardly sounds resilient herself. She just thinks it's wrong for women to not be everyone's maid and actually want things for themselves.

Just garden variety internalised misogyny.

And yes, @ThankYouNigel you are dependant on your husband, you only have the cushty life where you come and go as you please and have all the time in the world to ferry kids around because he bank rolls you. Nothing in life is free, you have to pay for it, and if he wasn't paying, you would have to actually work for a living. Working parents pay through the nose for their kids childcare when they aren't available to pick up at certain times or anything else, we certainly aren't relying on any free labour. We aren't dependent on grandparents and most working parents aren't, you just have a very narrow, negative view of them because you want them to be less than you to feel superior.

Getting a job usually helps to start with, speaking in general

You really need to stop assuming the actions of a small minority apply to the majority. You assume the worst of anyone living a different life to you. All those negative thoughts must be exhausting.

As a working parent who uses grandparents for occasional childcare ( for nights out or weekends away) I am still raising my own child. Some people might use their ‘village’ more than others but in the vast, vast majority of cases the parents are still the ones raising their children.

By your logic your husband isn’t raising his own kids

I disagree. Some children are with grandparents every day, more than with their own parents. They’ve already raised their own children and it’s taking them mick. I do hope those parents are ready to do the same for their grandchildren in the future, but judging by the threads on here plenty are saying they won’t be. That’s all take, take, take.

Working parents and parents who use grandparents as childcare are also raising their own children.

Part of being a parent is making decisions about what will benefit the family in the short, medium and long term. It’s not about being with them 24/7.

In your specific case, you clearly need some help. I don’t think anyone would begrudge that after you’ve shared more about your own circumstances.

In my situation, I want to raise my own children, it’s as simple as that. Our parents are dead, we only have my Mum. She spent my entire childhood as a fantastic SAHM for me, she gave me everything I could ever need. She is on her own and cannot afford to not work, so no, I absolutely would never expect or ask her to provide childcare for us bar the odd bit of babysitting/emergencies. She looked after us, now it’s my turn to do the same for my own.

I witness plenty quite frankly (who are not in a situation comparable to yours) taking advantage of their parents and ILs whilst doing nothing but pick fault with them over utter nonsense and showing little gratitude. I find it a bit much.

I am sick of being insulted by people who look down on me as being a ‘dependent’ housewife when actually I have never felt more independent in terms of doing everything personally myself day-to-day. I see people relying on 4 different people to help with their school run- I don’t have anyone, and I get on with it without complaining constantly! We moved out young and haven’t been dependent on our parents for anything since our early 20s. I see many dependent on their parents who are 20 years older, financially, practically and emotionally.

So yeah, I think people should look at themselves more and really consider how truly ‘independent’ they are before insulting housewives! Or are domestic women just an easy target?

You only have to read threads on here where women are demonised as disgusting because they only wash their sheets every two weeks, or the competitive Christmas threads, or the one salad leaf does me a fortnight threads to see where the pressure comes from.

Oh I couldn’t agree more about the general cost of living TBH- I’m sick of it all!

Well soon enough possibly we’ll all be entirely priced out of ever owning a home, a car, being able to eat, having children at all. Things don’t feel great TBH. I am worried where things will be at by the time our children will be older- I fear their quality of life will be worse.

Huge issues- what’s the answer, who’s got the answers…who knows?!

Oh I couldn’t agree more about the general cost of living TBH- I’m sick of it all!

Well soon enough possibly we’ll all be entirely priced out of ever owning a home, a car, being able to eat, having children at all. Things don’t feel great TBH. I am worried where things will be at by the time our children will be older- I fear their quality of life will be worse.

Huge issues- what’s the answer, who’s got the answers…who knows?!

And Brexit is the absolute mess we all thought it would be. Reform can't afford to deliver those policies. They can raise the threshold all they like, unless they are dishing out big amounts in benefits which they also can't afford low income families will never be able to afford the cost of housing on one wage, let alone all the other expenses on top. Housing in the UK is extortionate. That's why taking away child care keeps people in poverty.

In countries like Germany nursery costs roughly 400 euros a month, roughly 300 pounds. In the UK it costs roughly 1500 pounds on the cheaper end in some cities it's 3000. That's a whole middle class income and more. Without the government subsidising it no woman has any chance of working her way out poverty or even maintaining her career, they simply can't afford to work. But they also can't afford don't to work because life isn't free. The problem isn't with women wanting to work, it's a system that's been made so expensive no one can afford it, but without it women are forced out of work and into poverty. But you really begrudge them that opportunity because it's immoral. Baffling.

Also any right wing party prioritising moving things back to the "good old days" are always bad for women's rights. You only have to see what's happening in America to know that going backwards is bad for women. Voting farage is selling yourself and your daughter's down the river.