To be angry and upset

She has no admin experience so they wont want her. Admin jobs go to people who know how to use IT suites and it doesn’t sound like OO has ever used a computer in a working capacity. She’ll be up against young women in their 20s/30s who were raised on computers, will stay longer, have fewer health issues and even university grads with the market as it is.

People are being unrealistic. I have a friend working in John Lewis whose retail colleague has a Masters degree an aero engineering fgs

People keep saying to get a part time job but who is hiring 65 year old women with health issues and no experience in anything except care? Nobody…

It seems there is. It’s not a good marriage and riddled with mutual resentment. Sorry you’re feeling so low OP but it’s part of a pattern going on years and the change in dynamic with you not working will be exacerbating the existing issues. I hope things improve for you but if nothing changes nothing will change and the two of you sound stuck in a really bad cycle.

I do however disagree with the digs about WLI and gym. Taking care of your health is not a luxury and shouldn't be seen as such.

Its a couple in their 60s ..she doesn't mention kids so I assume if there were any they've gone. Taking care of a house with two adults is very much NOT a full time job FFS. I mean, you can always find things to do if you like a prize winning lawn or hoover three times a day but that's not actually necessary.

OP is going to the gym and taking weight loss injections, there’s certainly nothing preventing her getting a part time admin job or something similar if need be.

There’s also 2 adults in that home, nobody said OP has to do all of the “housework”.

Whilst he's not being fair I think him being resentful at times is inevitable. I know I would be. Can you look for some very part time work, odd shift in a cafe or a few hours helping an older person at home, or similar, to help with some expenses?

The ignorance about health being displayed in this thread is off the chain.

Of course she goes to the gym and has weight loss injections! That's exactly what you do when you are trying to treat a heart condition and arthritis. You need to lose weight, improve your strength, mobility and cardiovascular function.
Again, unbelievable.

Iv been the sole wage earner. I was surprised how much pressure I felt. It was a lot of weight to carry and the metal responsibility felt huge. Iv never felt such relief when dh started working again

My DP got free gym membership after having a heart attack, it's part of the rehab. It's also given and recommended for arthritis. Someone I know goes just to walk on the treadmill after having a stroke and needing to hold on to something. WLI are ideal for, over menopause age, women who have health conditions. What's your point?

IKR. I shouldn't be shocked by some of the comments on this thread, because MN is full of this sort of foolishness. But every now and then one example stands out to me as particularly egregious.

I think he is being an arse, and hopefully he can see that now.

You are 65, have had sepsis twice recently and have other health conditions. You are entitled to retire, so tell him to shut up. If it's a joke then it certainly isn't funny.

How easily do people (including some on this thread) think that a 65 year old with significant health problems will just walk into a job anyway?

Oh bullshit! I live in a home of two adults and there is plenty of work.
The OP has a heart condition, arthritis and has been very ill of late, so your comments are ableist nonsense.

You are completely in the right on this.
Please don't leave, that's just letting the ableist bullies scare you away and when that happens there's one less voice to confront their bullshit.
I'm glad to hear your husband was just kidding, though it was certainly an unkind, hostile sort of humour. Hope he learned something from this. 🩷

Unbelievable. We have people saying the OP, who has health problems, needs to get a job as well as do all the housework because it's "not fair" that the husband should pay all the bills.
Lots of knee-jerk male supporters on this thread.

I will repost the relevant bits that some posters have conveniently ignored.

I gave up work as it was stressing me out and I was getting sick. (Sepsis twice) as I was so run down.

Im 65 I have experience in caring but that's it. I have arthritis so wouldn't be able to go back to this line of work. I also have a few other medical conditions.

I know he works hard but I do absolutely everything in the house. Washing cooking cleaning gardening decorating etc etc.

So should wash, cook, clean, garden, decorate, etc. and get a job, despite arthritis and other health conditions, despite being qualified only for work she can no longer do, just because an entitled, passive aggressive man is displeased with his level of financial responsibility. Got it. Mustn't get unwell and displease the menfolk. 🙄

For 2 adults there really isn’t much “taking care of everything” to do! This isn’t a SAHM with 3 under 5!

They say with a financial advisor and agreed her retirement?

What a nasty reply from you.