To be irritated at being asked to give my pronouns?

I have only once been asked to provide my pronouns; as a consultant visiting the local council with a client. I just said , they are private and protected.

That shut the conversation down pretty sharpish, other than my client trying to suppress a guffaw.

As pp said, no reason to need them in a meeting ; referring to me as she or he in front of me is pretty rude.

I’d say sorry I don’t have any, I’m not indulging in performative nonsense.

Totally agree. Its pretty damn obvious that I was born female and have remained that way, I find it irritating to have to spell it out, just to tick a box

If it was meeting just between colleagues I’d be tempted to provide a different set of neo pronouns every week.

What I want to do in such situations is say “thee/thou”, because second-person pronoun usage is much more likely to trip people up and help them see that it is silly to mess around with normal language usage (& also I like the humility associated with the old thee/thou like tu in French and part of the problem with this trend of compelled speech is about being self-centred rather than seeing oneself as a small part of wider society).

What I actually do is ignore the request wherever possible or mutter “whatever” if absolutely pushed.

Yes, that's a large part of it: they tend to love to think that they'll be foremost in people's minds and discussions continually. It's usually an attention-seeking goal that drives them.

I volunteer for a charity and we’ve been asked to add our preferred pronouns to emails. I’ve refused and have made it clear that if it becomes mandatory I will leave.

At a private, social event I would reply with ‘What interest could you possibly have in my preferred pronouns’.

The BBQ woman was pure and simple just an attention-seeker. When would she actually need to refer to you in the third person if your only interaction is that you happen to have both been invited to the same get-together?

In the unlikely event that she did need to refer to you, she would surely say "The person over there in the purple top". After all, if she said she/he/them or whatever, people would ask for clarification about whom she was talking, and she still wouldn't know your name anyway.

I do the same, just my name and when appropriate my role. I’ve never been challenged - if you don’t want to give pronouns just don’t.

Also, aren't pronouns only relevant when you're talking about the person, in front of them? How often would that even happen? If someone told me their pronouns I'd be tempted say "you're assuming I'm going to be talking about you"

Were there some words missing at the end there, or did the initiator genuinely want to be referred to as 'it'?!

Hi - I’m titchy and I’m atheist. What’s that - you want pronouns? Oh, I assumed we were allowed to pick any of the 9 protected characteristics and say which we had to show allyship. Why does Acme corporation only want to show allyship to one of the nine? Aren’t the others just as important?

I disagree! denigrating women and asserting the rights of men over them is right wing, in my opinion

Even if you feel compelled to do this at work, you should have stood up for yourself at the BBQ. In a social situation don't let yourself be forced 'through gritted teeth' to comply with someone else's belief system. Stand up for yourself. Just refuse to play along.

I would change jobs.

YANBU, I just say no thanks though

Tell them you're a he/him and watch them trip over themselves to try and get it right 😂

Just to be clear, it is left wing stuff this!

Like you, I work in an environment where people are encouraged to share their pronouns (though not at every meeting, that sounds extreme). I’ve never done it and never will. I just ignore encouragement to add pronouns to written documents and if people are verbally adding their pronouns to their names when introducing themselves in a meeting, I just don’t do it, I just say my name. In years, no one had ever challenged me.

I'd say "well I have a vagina". Surely that answers itself or you'd hope it does.

Why are you continuing to engage with this? Especially at a bbq!

"I prefer not to discuss my pronouns "
"That's personal"
"I don't have any"
"Use whichever you prefer, I dont mind"
"My pronouns match my sex"
"Im not sure but you can use sex based ones today, no ones ever got it wrong"

Depending on how brave you're feeling.

I'd tell whoever it is at your workplace that requiring routine and public pronoun disclosure goes against Yogyakarta Principle 6, which says "The right to privacy ordinarily includes the choice to disclose or not to disclose information relating to one’s sexual orientation or gender identity, as well as decisions and choices regarding both one’s own body and consensual sexual and other relations with others."

Undertaking F of principle 6 says that states (and by extension, organisations subject to the laws of those states) should "ensure the right of all persons ordinarily to choose when, to whom and how to disclose information pertaining to their sexual orientation or gender identity, and protect all persons from arbitrary or unwanted disclosure, or threat of disclosure of such information by others."

If pronouns are routinely required to be disclosed in public, like at the beginning of meetings in a way that makes it difficult or othering not to disclose, it doesn't make it easier on trans people if they do not want to be outed, or are still in stealth. You can really lay it on thick about a poor trans person in those situations who may not feel safe to disclose, ready to come out of stealth, or alternatively forced to state pronouns that they don't identify with solely because they are forced to do so etc etc etc.

The side effect hopefully will be that you are also not required to state your own pronouns, if nobody else is.

ALSO THIS. All the girls names on our list for a future DD meet that criteria, so she’s not dismissed over email or via CV before anyone meets her. Making a woman state she’s female in every correspondence is oppressive.

We had this at my charity workplace, asked to add pronouns as part of email signatures.
no one did except the initiator. It

My parents gave me an androgynous name so that I wouldn’t be unfairly discriminated against because I’m a woman before people met me. I get offended people thinking I must present my pronouns in a work setting.