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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask neighbour to close curtains

695 replies

Handrearedmagpie · 31/07/2025 22:57

First of all, I know IABU. It's more a question of HOW unreasonable.
My young DS is autistic, non speaking and has a severe learning disability. Meltdowns are triggered by sudden changes like adverts on the TV. Neighbour diagonally across street from me has very large windows and an ENORMOUS TV. Never shuts her curtains/blinds so DS can watch her TV from our house and fixates on it when his own tablet is removed before bedtime.
Every. Single. Night. It's meltdown when adverts appear on her TV. Obviously I shut our own blinds but he knows her TV is there and just opens them again, or he will go upstairs and hyper focus on her TV from my bedroom window.
How horrendously unreasonable would I be to ask her to close her blinds for half an hour at night just to avoid this nightly hysteria??! I'm at my wits end with it.
YABU - absolutely unreasonable. It's your child's disability to manage.
YANBU - you can only ask and see what she says.

OP posts:
verycloakanddaggers · 31/07/2025 23:13

Syuoo · 31/07/2025 22:59

You could get a stick on cover for your window, privacy type blurred. I wouldn’t ask your neighbour to change their routine.

I was also going to say this.

Aout25 · 31/07/2025 23:12

@Handrearedmagpie

You can but ask & hope your neighbour isn't like some of the twats on here, if you explained as you have here, no decent person would say no.

i don't actually have any window coverings as I prefer natural light 24/7, but if even get some blinds for that window to make your life a little easier.

Ask your neighbour, & hope for the best.

Reliablesource · 31/07/2025 23:12

You want her to do this EVERY SINGLE EVENING?! Sorry, that would be a hard no from me. It’s for YOU to find a solution to the problem, you cannot dictate to a neighbour when they can or cannot have their curtains open. I would not take kindly to that request.

skymagentatwo · 31/07/2025 23:11

Not a chance, my home my rules. Sorry about your kid but asking some one across the street to change for your child no way. Sorry but true.

arethereanyleftatall · 31/07/2025 23:10

I would be happy to be asked. You just need to phrase it super politely ‘ I absolutely get that you might say no, and that is absolutely fine, but my son…so would it be at all possible if…no worries at all if not.’

Iwantsandybeachesandgoodfood · 31/07/2025 23:10

I would happily have my blinds/ curtains shut for half an hour at 8pm for this. I don’t think it’s a ridiculous ask. It’s half an hour.

AnneLovesGilbert · 31/07/2025 23:08

What are the options if you don’t ask or you do but she says no? Do those first.

dontcomeatme · 31/07/2025 23:07

Whiningatwine · 31/07/2025 23:06

No, I don't want to sit in a gloomy dark room when I don't have to. Get some window film to blur the view.

It's half an hour late at night ?

Toottooot · 31/07/2025 23:07

8pm when it’s still daylight? No chance I’m afraid.

OrwellianTimes · 31/07/2025 23:06

Honestly if you were my neighbour and explained all this and asked nicely, from 8pm I’d happily oblige.

Your neighbour might now however.

Whiningatwine · 31/07/2025 23:06

No, I don't want to sit in a gloomy dark room when I don't have to. Get some window film to blur the view.

MeganM3 · 31/07/2025 23:03

Yeah I’d say something, in a really friendly/ polite way. What have you got to lose.

SkintSingleMumm · 31/07/2025 23:03

Explain what youve said here and any decent person would say ok

dontcomeatme · 31/07/2025 23:03

I would if my neighbour asked! I text me neighbour the other day asking if her DC could pause their ball game for half an hour while I tried to get my sick toddler to sleep. Not an issue. Your request sounds sincere and reasonable x

Original poster
Handrearedmagpie · 31/07/2025 23:03

ItIsFoggy · 31/07/2025 22:59

What time of day are you going to ask her to close them? If it's dark, I probably wouldn't mind. If it's light outside, I don't want my curtains shut.

You can ask, she can say no.

8pm

OP posts:
mismomary · 31/07/2025 23:02

I don't think you're unreasonable to ask. If neighbour agrees and does it, then a little pressie is in order I think. I'd say yes if I were the neighbour.

Namechangerage · 31/07/2025 23:01

Syuoo · 31/07/2025 22:59

You could get a stick on cover for your window, privacy type blurred. I wouldn’t ask your neighbour to change their routine.

This

letstrythatagain · 31/07/2025 23:00

Honestly if my neighbour knocked the door and explained the reasons I'd happily agree to close them. It must be difficult to deal with. All you can do is ask and accept whatever comes back I guess. 😊

Syuoo · 31/07/2025 22:59

You could get a stick on cover for your window, privacy type blurred. I wouldn’t ask your neighbour to change their routine.

ItIsFoggy · 31/07/2025 22:59

What time of day are you going to ask her to close them? If it's dark, I probably wouldn't mind. If it's light outside, I don't want my curtains shut.

You can ask, she can say no.