To ask neighbour to close curtains

Then you say no to the OPs polite question. It’s not difficult.
She’s not demanding anything, just querying if it’s possible.

No that’s not the same thing at all. It is asking for a favour. Not handing over responsibility of her child.

You love over-using that emoji on threads don’t you?!

What a laughable response.
When I close or open my curtains is entirely up to me, not my neighbours.

By asking if her neighbour would change her behaviour to help her son. 🫣

Are you always this dramatic? Dies your life change every time you close your curtains?

What have you pointed out that's obvious? We don't turn the TV off everytime we leave the room. It stays on until we lock up and go to bed. Also the TV stays on when DH and I go for an evening walk because there are teenagers in the house coming and going.

Where does she say her son was the neighbour’s responsibility? I must have missed that.

Asking the neighbour to change her behaviour is making it her problem. 🫣

OP could alter her routine. Her child isn't anyone else's responsibility.

Aren't they just!!

No one, not a single person, has said it's the neighbours problem to solve. It's clearly the OP's problem, but as a neighbour if I could do something so bloody simple to help a neighbour out in these circumstances I would want to be asked and unless I had someone with SEN who would be negatively impacted I'd happily do it to HELP.

Nobody is asking this woman to sit in the pitch black anyway. She has two windows in her living room on different sides of the room. It’s only for a hour. Honestly, some people really are obtuse.

Will do. Thanks for the tip.

The thing is, I am mostly kind. I try to help people whenever I can especially when it absolutely no skin off my nose.

Some people are really slow of understanding.

The OP is asking whether it would be okay to ask the neighbour. She is not dictating what the neighbour can do. She knows that it is her problem. She knows that the neighbour is entitled to live as she wishes. People are so quickly to get all huffed-up and offended: NoBoDy CaN TelL mE hOw to LiVe My LifE.

This is called a favour. Something you ask of somebody where there is no gain to the other person and possibly a bit of hardship. It is asking somebody to show a bit of kindness if it is achievable for them. It is not a command. It is a request for understanding and thoughtfulness. Perhaps some people have never come across that concept in their lives so they are struggling so hard to understand what the OP is saying?

I don’t think asking your neighbour would hurt. Most people would be happy to do this to try and help.

Indeed. Definitely ask.

It's worth asking. I wonder if a few weeks might break the cycle and it might not have to be a permanent thing.

OP, perhaps ask for just one night. Explain the situation and say you are exhausted and would be very grateful for one night of respite, only if it works for your neighbour. Perhaps the neighbour could suggest a night which might be more convenient for them. Explain all the way that you understand if they can’t.

If they cannot even give you one night, then you can see the kind of person they are, and just smile and thank them and leave. And if they can give you one night, then that’s better than nothing. And they might even do it again.

My parents are from a poor, very different culture. I simply cannot imagine people in that community behaving in such a mean-spirited insular way as some on this thread.

A few nights with the curtains shut should not be a huge deal for anyone. And of course nobody has to agree. But it’s really not that big a deal to help an exhausted mum at crisis point, for most decent people anyway.

Could you put up a tall fence or something in your garden so he can't see the house opposite? Just thinking he may still be in the habit of watching the house opposite or choose another house to fixate on, even if they do agree to shut their blinds.

Don't know if this has already been suggested but if a temporary change will break the cycle, why not buy her a enormous bunch of flowers, explain the issue and she if she will put the flowers in a vase on the window sill to obscure the view of the telly - the neighbour gets to enjoy the flowers for a week or more and you get to see if a temporary change fixes the issue

Op I would happily help you, I’m a special needs mom myself. it’s exhausting and I wish I could give you a hug and make you tea. 💝

I quoted the above though just to say of course there are lazy special needs parents! Any one can be lazy and having a disabled child doesn’t make us all hardworking saints.

My mom was such a lazy parent all of her kids were removed and my little brother has autism and FAS, my sis and I have ADHD. It’s silly to say this.

It is entitled to expect a neighbour to change their life because of your problems. Even asking is intruding.
OP needs to find her own solution.

It’s not but sometimes people are willing to be nice to each other, especially their neighbours.
obviously an alien concept to some.

It's not 'so trivial' though, as many people have already explained.

I think you would be unreasonable

You close your blinds and distract your child

You can't expect everyone to adapt to you and your child