Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband leaves 3yo son in bath for a few seconds

237 replies

OneWarmHazelQuail · 31/07/2025 20:43

My husband will leave my 3yo son alone in the bath for under a minute to grab a flannel/towel, or run down stairs to grab a glass of water. It really bothers me and I have told him repeatedly that I think its unsafe and should never be done. AIBU?

OP posts:
Endofyear · 31/07/2025 21:30

Your DH is an adult - surely he can get everything he needs organised before putting your child in the bath? A child this young shouldn't be left alone in the bath, even for a minute.

Laura95167 · 31/07/2025 21:29

Turn away for a towel - fine.

Go downstairs for anything - not fine

Thedoorisalwaysopen · 31/07/2025 21:29

Grab a towel - yes.
Why on earth does he need to be going downstairs? What could he possibly need to do there (in under a minute) that is so important?

Zebedee999 · 31/07/2025 21:28

Pollqueen · 31/07/2025 20:48

At 3, I think that's fine. But only for a moment or two, certainly no longer than a minute

The issue as I see it is that it is easy to get distracted, for example when he is downstairs there is a knock on the door etc.

Vintagefair · 31/07/2025 21:28

Foreverm0re · 31/07/2025 21:23

Call me paranoid but at that age I wouldn’t nip downstairs whilst they were in the bath in case I fell.

I fell running from the bathroom to the front door. I was cleaning the shower when the door bell rang. My feet were wet and I slipped on the wooden floor in the hall. Luckily I didn't knock myself out but it made me realise how quickly and easily something can go wrong.

Createausername1970 · 31/07/2025 21:26

I did leave him sporadically at that age to tidy his room, get his pyjamas etc. But DS played with his boats and the bubbles and was very noisy. And the water barely came over the tops of his legs when he was sat down.

I don't think I went downstairs though.

ScoobyBooby · 31/07/2025 21:25

BlueRin5eBrigade · 31/07/2025 20:55

Your H is a prat. My friend left his kid, of a similar age. to get a towel. The child drowned. He came back and found her face down in the water. He called 999 and they helped him do CPR until the ambulance came. Thankfully, the resuscitated her. They don't know what, if any, deficit she will have. They nearly lost her. For what? Piss poor organisation. Tell him to get his shit together.

Have to agree ! It’s not with the risk.
Sorry about your friends child , hope they will be ok x

Foreverm0re · 31/07/2025 21:23

Call me paranoid but at that age I wouldn’t nip downstairs whilst they were in the bath in case I fell.

Elisabeth3468 · 31/07/2025 21:16

No not ok.
I have ran into the bedroom before to grab a towel when my 3 year old in the bath but that's about it. They shouldn't be left for a second in water, it's just not safe.

Teenytwo · 31/07/2025 21:15

The issue isn’t always the kid being unattended it’s what can happen to you. What if in his rush to get a drink he tripped on the stairs and couldn’t get back up to your child.

incognitomouse · 31/07/2025 21:15

I've gone downstairs to grab something. Like a PP has said, my DS is so noisy you can hear him wherever you are. He also likes at least 30-45 mins in the bath so I use that time to tidy up his bedroom or put his laundry away.

Cuwins · 31/07/2025 21:13

I wouldn’t however go downstairs. We are in a flat so I can move around without being far from her at all

bathroomadviceneeded · 31/07/2025 21:12

Agree with others, a few seconds to get a towel from the cupboard would be ok from age 3 (not younger) but definitely not going downstairs. I bathe all the DC (3 little ones) separately when I’m doing bathtime/bedtime solo. This is so I don’t have to leave anyone in the bath while I sort the other one. You have to be organised about it and think ahead.

Cuwins · 31/07/2025 21:12

DD is 3.5 and I have been going in and out now for about 6months. I go between the bathroom and her bedroom opposite- putting washing away, tidying up etc. she loves a long bath 30mins+ and it’s very uncomfortable to sit on the toilet lid the whole time!

3luckystars · 31/07/2025 21:12

It’s not a couple of seconds though. It’s not ok at all.

The worst bit is that he is not listening to you, and your feelings are correct.

Boobyslims · 31/07/2025 21:10

No. It’s not ok to go downstairs. I am a single mum and I never did this, and I have two dc a year apart. Just no.

what’s so important about a glass of water??

ThatFlyIsMySpiritAnimal · 31/07/2025 21:10

God no. Not until 5 in my opinion and even then I was always close by.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 31/07/2025 21:09

Getting in/out of the tub is risky for anyone and kids do things impulsively. Mine recently turned the hot water on and put arm under it while I was brushing my teeth.

GreenCandleWax · 31/07/2025 21:08

What happens if he goes downstairs, the phone rings and he forgets?

ArghhWhatNext · 31/07/2025 21:07

I had a colleague whose two small children drowned in the bath in these kind of circumstances. I can’t remember exact age - maybe 18 months and three? One of those “I was only gone a couple of seconds” things, but both went under. Horrific. As a result I never left DC unattended until 4

Gossyboo · 31/07/2025 21:06

Few seconds to grab a towel - fine

Going downstairs - no. And to get a glass of water, ffs, that can wait!

My son is 3, pretty sensible as far as 3 years go and he slipped in the bath recently. I'm not sure if he would have righted himself as I picked him straight up but he got a bang on the head and slipped under the water, which frightened the life out of him and me. It only takes seconds for an accident.

Vintagefair · 31/07/2025 21:03

I have a friend who was left in the bath when she was nearly three. Her mum went to answer the phone (at a time when there were only landlines) and my friend turned on the hot tap.

She was able to stand up, but not get out of the water and as a result her feet were very badly scarred.

Drowning isn't the only risk.

stichguru · 31/07/2025 21:01

Fine to leave a 3 year old for a few seconds, or to be a few seconds away where you can hear them playing happily, but no, not downstairs.

HMW19061 · 31/07/2025 21:01

At 3 I would leave my oldest DS in the bath whilst I was dressing his baby brother in the bedroom opposite but I would either chat to him or have him sing a song to me so I could hear that he was ok. I still do the same now that he’s 4.5 years.

MeganM3 · 31/07/2025 21:00

I used to do this. If you’ve got more than 1 kid it’s pretty hard to sit there to watch for the entirety. Pottering around, keeping an eye, listening out for them singing/ chattering away.
He’s only gone a min or two?