Husband leaves 3yo son in bath for a few seconds

I don’t know about your house but it certainly would take me longer than one minute to come downstairs, walk through to the kitchen at the back, get a glass from cupboard, fill and make the return journey. I say chinny reckon to any claims it’s less than a minute.

And with things like this, it has a habit of “spreading”. Oh he was fine when I grab a towel. Oh he was fine when I went downstairs to get a drink. Oh he’ll be fine if I just check my phone. Oh he’s fine if I watch 5 minutes of telly … and so on. Until it’s not fine.

A neighbour’s kid when I was growing up got badly burned turning on the hot tap while left alone “just for a minute”.

I didn’t leave my DS ever until he was 5. Even then I was only a few steps away at most.

It does depend on the child a lot. I do leave the room and am in the room opposite with all the doors open with my daughter- she has never shown any sign of wanting to try to climb out herself and generally has to be convinced to get out after 30mins but I would not with my friends son who is likely to take the opportunity to try to scale the walls like Spider-Man or something!

It's incredibly foolish and only because he thinks it will never be his child that drowns.

He needs to be organised and have everything he needs, he can also wait to have a drink until his son is out of the bath.

This is a very sad story that makes your lack of caution and dismissive attitude sound quite heartless. https://www.theguardian.com/uk/1999/sep/03/3

Maybe not downstairs, depending on your house, but nipping out very briefly to grab a towel is probably fine.

Page 3 already and no one has suggested he drink from the tap?

No - i wouldn't go downstairs (I'm in a flat so don't need to though). I would leave the room for a few seconds, but not a minute. Accidents happen, sensible as my 3yo is, she could easily slip or scald herself if she dropped a toy overboard or tried to add more water etc. Kids do silly things.

Depends on child I still can’t with mine they have SEN and epilepsy. When ds was around that age he would lie on his front and kick his legs like crazy. The bathroom used to be absolutely sodden.

This is my daughter!

@OneWarmHazelQuail I think some of these replies are insane. It takes less than a minute to drown. Your husband is being v.v.v unreasonable.

A towel from the cupboard outside the bathroom, okay (I always try to get the towel first) but downstairs absolutely not

As a parent to a 3 year old, I think it's fine. My son is of an age he's able to right himself if he slips. If I ever go to grab something though, I'm always in earshot - I listen and make sure I can hear him playing, and I will keep talking to him too.

I remember reading about Jeremy Hunt's sister drowning in a bath - the nanny seemed to have left a two year old and a ten month old in a bath together. So so tragic.

Yeah, it’s very common in made-up stories.

Completely fine! Have you not done swim lessons?

Yes, because we’re not buying into the bizarre notion that everything that could ever possibly cause harm must be avoided.

My DN was four when he choked on a piece of cucumber and ended up in hospital. I don’t avoid cucumber, nor would any other sane parent.

I’ve known children die in car accidents when the driver was driving safely and they were strapped into car seats. We don’t avoid driving.

DH broke his wrist on a trampoline when he was a child. We still have one.

I’m allergic to penicillin. I don’t say my children can’t have it in case they have an allergic reaction and need hospital (or worse).

People own dogs, walk alongside (and, gasp, even cross) roads, eat all kinds of food (including junk food and sugar), we let them play with toys… all these things that can and do, very rarely, cause harm or death or injury. Yet all are completely normal and reasonable.

It’s not reasonable and proportionate to act like there being a very small risk of harm means it’s unsafe and shouldn’t be done.

Some of these posts are absurd. You can’t leave them to go downstairs in case you fall on the stairs and knock yourself unconscious but what if you slip on the wet bathroom floor and knock yourself unconscious? Is that better?

To grab a towel or something quick whilst staying within earshot (and having DC sing or something so you know they’re ok) I think is fine at 3. I wouldn’t be going downstairs or to grab drinks or anything like that though until they’re at least 5.

It depends to an extent on the child. At 3, DD was perfectly fine to sit in the bath for a while by herself. It was at about that age that I started sitting in the next room whilst she played with her toys. I don't see why a healthy, normally developed 3 yo would get themselves face down in the bath and not just get up.

Also, from the age of about 12 months she's talked and sang in a constant stream from the moment she wakes up to the moment she falls asleep. In fact, she even talks in her sleep sometimes. If she went quiet I would have noticed immediately.

Absolutely not OK, I would say. An accident could take seconds.

Why the heck does this man need a glass of water that badly - how long does the bath last??

So what age is safe? I’m not sure scare stories are that helpful.

Genuine question - what is wrong with leaving for a few seconds (not trying to be inflammatory genuinely asking for myself!). Even if child slips under if it’s genuinely under 5 seconds eg grabbing a towel from hook, turning around to grab toy etc is there a drowning risk within 5 seconds?

Noted on risks re turning on the hot tap and getting scolded/potentially banging head.

Both children drowned?? That would really be very unusual, unless the carer was gone for a while.

But what are the other two doing? I think people must have enormous bathrooms or something.

So often I find the vote doesn't tally with the comments on MN.

Spot on. Yet 40% of mothers have voted it is alright to leave a 3 yo in the bath. Unbelievable.