Husband leaves 3yo son in bath for a few seconds

When you read about a child drowning in a bath, it is almost always the case that the parent just popped out for a minute or two. It’s not as if when this awful tragedy happens, it’s because people think it’s ok to leave them for half an hour to watch TV. It is invariably doing what your DH is doing- grabbing a glass of water etc. Obviously the majority of the time, people do it and nothing goes wrong. But it’s a risk, and not worth taking the chance in my opinion.

Make sure there's a towel in the bathroom?

I agree with you. Drowning can happen quickly. If i forget a towel I can lift them out with out one, not ideal, but not the end of the world. If I forget a flannel, then that one night they won't be fully washed. They have been in a bath, they will be mostly clean or I can wash them with a flannel when they are out.

Have had similar discussions with my DH. I know how tempting it is to grab something, as they seem safe compared to a baby, but they are not old enough. I read we should supervise children up to aged 8 in water all the time, so definitley a 3 year old should not be left.

The drink thing is madness! The child won't dehydrate in the 10 minutes or so they're in the bath...

We stay in the bathroom even though DD is 5.5 and can swim 10m and dive down and retrieve weights from the bottom of the 2m pool.

I wouldn’t take the risk, personally. A drowning can happen in seconds and in very little water. Children move about in the bath, they’re never still.

Not at all. Why wouldn’t he just take a drink upstairs if child regularly asks for one, and gets everything he needs beforehand. Children drown in seconds and it’s not something you should take a risk with. You can’t turn the clock back, sure many parents who have lost children in this way wish they could and do things different. Not sure why he thinks you’re unreasonable pointing out that he is putting his DC at risk.

Which is why they were gone longer than " a few seconds" in these cases.

He would have been gone a fair while for this time have happened. No matter what he tells you, he was fine more than a few seconds.

Needs to be more organised so he gets a towel or whatever he needs before the bath.

Going downstairs to get water or a drink for the child I seen the next reply from you again no real need.

If so thirsty they can have a drink from oh my goodness me the sink in the bathroom

sure, thousands will say no drink water from the bathroom tap

The risk of going downstairs is to go, 'oh and I'll just put those dishes in the dish washer, and I'll just grab those clothes I need to take upstairs, and I'll just find my phone'. I would only stay within earshot upstairs to grab something momentarily until older than 3.

I think you need to give your partner some evidence of when doing what he does has ended in tragedy.

Do me a favour: get the timer up on your phone and hold your breath, starting….. NOW

For an adult, you probably achieved somewhere between 60-90 seconds? Maybe aa much as 2-3 mins if you are a singer or a swimmer. Obviously you’ve breathed before completely running out of oxygen, so let’s give you another 60 seconds on top. That’s 120-150 seconds. Now imagine your lungs are half the size. 60-75 seconds. That’s how quickly a small child can drown.

If you have the type of shower cubicle where the controls are up high perhaps get your husband to consider using the shower instead. It’s what I did with my kids and it worked well.

I leave my 3, nearly 4yo for little bits. After washing he loves to play for ages so he has very shallow water and I get on with bits in the kitchen right next to the bathroom

I can't see him so I check in very frequently and also get him to sing/talk to me so I know he is ok

i wouldnt go downstairs, i used to tidying the airing cupboard but really take it as an opportunity to have a break!
not worth the risk,
drowning,
scalding

No. Your DH needs to get into the habit of making sure he has whatever he needs, in the bathroom, before your child is in the bath. The fact he'd rather take a risk like this than get himself organised is worrying.

Then it’s a ‘can you wait for a drink until after your bath’. If that’s a no, ‘ok bath times over, let’s pull the plug out, get out and get a drink’

Then he gets out of another job, which men like to do don't they?

According to at least one reputable site, it only takes 20 seconds and a few centimetres of water for a child to drown. Babies and toddlers are at a higher risk of drowning as they do not understand the dangers of water and are top-heavy, so they cannot always lift themselves out of water when they fall – no matter how shallow it is.

All fine until your husband trips going up or down the stairs and knocks himself unconscious, leaving your 3 year old alone and in the bath. Why doesn’t he take the towel and glass of water upstairs before the bath? He’s not listening to you. I would be letting him do bathtime any more.

I hate discussing this, but it's important people take the risk seriously so I guess we need to. It can take less than two minutes to have a very serious drowning incident, including sometimes death. Smaller children have smaller lungs.

Plus there are negative effects from non-fatal drowning incidents, parents wouldn't want their kid to have a non-fatal car accident, so why risk a non-fatal drowning incident?

Both of these things are needed after / during bath anyway - why can’t he have them ready in advance?

That's exactly what my dc did very recently (posted upthread). 😳
They're so impulsive and unable to judge risk.

I'm really surprised so many parents think it's OK - a small child can so easily slip and end up face down. It's not hard to have the towel already in the bathroom, and if you do have to leave the bathroom for any reason, take the kid out of the bath and bring them with you.

If you have other small kids, they go in the bath too, or they play in the bathroom with you.

I grew up in the 80s, where child safety was very lax, and no way would my mum have left me and my brother alone in the bath for a second.

And I'm a single parent of two, I managed to stay in the bathroom with them while they were little - it's only for 15 minutes before bed.

OP I couldn't agree more with you.

Shouldn't this say "nearly drowned"?

Reading "The child drowned" was a shocker and shook me up a bit.

Hope the DC will be ok but don't over dramatise please.