Backlash after DP proposed on pre-Wedding holiday

Why ? It happened before the wedding party arrived.

You stole their thunder, I’m not surprised there’s been comments.

But he wasn't. I don't think being on holiday prior to someone's wedding means everything that happens at that holiday is connected to the wedding or how on earth he's piggy-backing on anything. What if they were on holiday at the same time but an hour away in a different hotel and moving to the wedding location a few days later but still on the same holiday? Would that count as not being lacklustre? It makes no sense to see it as unoriginal just because there was another wedding happening soon.

Anyway, OP doesn't seem to have this weird attitude so it's all good.

You made a decision, during your holiday,as a couple, that you would like to get married. You could have made the decision at any time.

Unless you made a song and dance about it during the wedding service or reception, it's nobody else's business when you got engaged.

I struggle to get my head around this behaviour. It's possible to celebrate someone's marriage with them while also, perfectly reasonably, thinking about other topics/people during the day or days of the wedding.

Your 'friends' are being utterly ridiculous and really need to get a grip.

My friend got engaged the night before my wedding, at the destination. I felt moderately miffed for about an hour and then got over it. You’ve done nothing wrong.

Couldn’t agree more- my friend told me and our friendship group she was pregnant with her first child at my wedding. was lovely news to share and added to the day- it didn’t detract from it or steal my thunder! ( she had to tell us because she wasn’t drinking).

note I use the word ‘told’ not ‘announce’. People are just sharing their news. I don’t understand why people feel like everything that happens to them needs to be treated like a PR event

@DappledThingsno it could be anywhere that’s an original thought… not just piggybacking onto someone else’s occasion.
thats just lazy , lacklustre and totally crap

My friend got engaged at my wedding reception. I was over the moon for them. And privileged my special day was part of their special time.

You’ve done nothing wrong, OP. These people are knobs.

If someone got engaged at my destination wedding prior to the event I’d announce it at the speeches and get everyone to clap for them! God, weddings are about celebrating love! I married my exh on a friend’s birthday, we sang happy birthday to her at the reception and I had them bring her out a little cupcake with a candle to blow out to thank her for spending her birthday celebrating our marriage with us 🥰

It doesn't matter.

So according to you it does have to be on a holiday to not be lacklustre? How odd.

@CheeseWiselyimagine having to do it during someone else’s planned celebration because it’s to much effort to plan a holiday … lazy

YAB a bit unreasonable. Not so much for the proposal but telling everyone before the wedding. I think it would have been kinder to wait until you are all back home to announce it.

Exactly. A beautiful way of putting it 💕

I can't get my head round this concept at all.

They were on holiday, he proposed. Maybe it was in a romantic location, maybe it was just in their hotel room. All perfectly pleasant. Just as it would have been if he did it spontaneously on a wet Wednesday in Sainsbury's car-park or on a different holiday 3 months later.

Such a weird value judgement you are putting on him proposing on the wrong type of holiday.

When did you announce it on insta (if you did)?

@Connectionsconundrumat any point that wasn’t about someone else’s planned celebration.

Tell them to bore off. We went to a wedding in Rome and TWO of the couples attending got engaged in the days beforehand, because Rome is pretty romantic place. The Bride & Groom were nothing but thrilled for them. Three times the celebration of love!

@Tiredofmebecause he obviously just had no original , meaningful thought other than to piggyback onto someone else’s celebration.
lazy and lacklustre

How long before and after the wedding would you deem acceptable?

Yeah. 'Shall we get married' is a proposal. It's about the relationship going forward, not a circus for Instagram.

@Timetodownsizeits not about it being “ instagramable “ it’s about the meaning of the gesture!
he has but no thought into it other than it’s acceptable to propose just before someone else has their wedding.
its piss poor and lazy

@sciaticafanatica and @HenDoNot
Good heavens what is all this " lazy proposal" nonsense ?
The guy proposed and OP accepted and they are both happy. That's what is important.
So long as he didn't do it at the wedding itself what is the problem?

I'd be really happy for you if I was bride and you were my friend. I do not some people can be precious about things like that though so if I was you, I wouldn't have announced the engagement until after the wedding. I'd probably use the excuse that I wanted family back home to know first and wanted to tell them face to face.

It’s a thing. Now destination weddings are not just the wedding, nor the 3 day event which they have become. I have recently learnt that they also claim ownership of any extended holiday which a guest may hitch on.

So YANBU. But the entitlement rolls on. And apparently it is a thing.