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Original poster

Backlash after DP proposed on pre-Wedding holiday

256 replies

Westendgoer · 31/07/2025 20:19

I got engaged last month - DP proposed whilst we were on holiday prior to my friends Wedding. The holiday was in the same resort, but we went over a week before the wedding date as it was somewhere we’d always wanted to visit so made sense to combine the two.

I have had comments made by a couple of friends - not the bride - that this was a bit out of order and could have over shadowed the Wedding. I haven’t relayed to my DP, I don’t want it to taint the experience and personally I don’t see the issue with him proposing in the circumstances.

Do you agree with me that my friends have overreacted?

OP posts:
Timetodownsize · 31/07/2025 21:18

sciaticafanatica · 31/07/2025 20:46

@Timetodownsizeits not about it being “ instagramable “ it’s about the meaning of the gesture!
he has but no thought into it other than it’s acceptable to propose just before someone else has their wedding.
its piss poor and lazy

Well good grief you'd be horrified by my proposal !! Then boyfriend now dh came out the shower and said "how would you like to get engaged? " I was utterly taken aback and said "do you mean that" - he said yes and so did I - that was 35 years ago.

Confabulations · 31/07/2025 21:17

sciaticafanatica · 31/07/2025 20:54

@DappledThingsno it could be anywhere that’s an original thought… not just piggybacking onto someone else’s occasion.
thats just lazy , lacklustre and totally crap

Why does everything have to be original? They were at a place they wanted to visit and took the opportunity. If you want everything to be Instagram perfect, life is going to be very disappointing for you.

cardibach · 31/07/2025 21:16

HenDoNot · 31/07/2025 20:35

I think “could have overshadowed the wedding” is a bit much, but I’d privately think your partner is certainly lacking in imagination, if the best place and time he could come up with for a proposal is when you’re on holiday to attend someone else’s wedding. It’s quite lazy.

Why does a proposal need to be all creative and original? If someone loves you and wants to marry you, a proposal over the washing up is fine, never mind on holiday.

Ellen936 · 31/07/2025 21:16

I wouldn’t have given a damn if not announced mid ceremony or during speeches. Not many people can afford a second holiday when already going abroad for a wedding, if your DP wanted to propose somewhere abroad. They are shitstirrers. Try not to overthink this. Congratulations.

LadyRoughDiamond · 31/07/2025 21:16

Your friends are batshit (I find I’m using that word an awful lot on Mumsnet these days!). My husband proposed to me in exactly the same way - holiday before a friend’s destination wedding. The happy couple even raised a toast to congratulate us at the reception. Almost twenty years later we are and the wedding couple are still together, and we’re all still great friends. May the same be true for you.

DappledThings · 31/07/2025 21:16

MarySueSaidBoo · 31/07/2025 21:15

But those people have probably put months even years of planning into their wedding to make it into the perfect event FOR THEM. To have that hijacked by someone else is really poor behaviour.

It wasn't highjacked in the least. Preposterous.

sunnysiders · 31/07/2025 21:16

Westendgoer · 31/07/2025 21:03

Not at all - we don’t actively use it, infact DP doesn’t even have an account and my last photo uploaded was two years ago!

Show quote history

Fair enough. My train of thought was if you’d got engaged and stuck it all over socials as the bridal party were leaving for the destination wedding, it might have raised a few eyebrows. Not mine; I’m pretty chilled about things like this, but I suppose I could see how the more tightly wound might.

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 31/07/2025 21:15

Remind me not to mention my engagement or marriage anywhere in the vicinity of @sciaticafanatica.

MarySueSaidBoo · 31/07/2025 21:15

But those people have probably put months even years of planning into their wedding to make it into the perfect event FOR THEM. To have that hijacked by someone else is really poor behaviour.

Confabulations · 31/07/2025 21:12

How on earth could two people deciding they are going to get married even remotely overshadow or steal the thunder of a couple actually getting married?

Unless you grabbed the mic in the middle of the vows and said you had something more important that everyone needed to know about.

People get engaged all the time, particularly at certain age points. It almost seems contagious. Friends need to get their heads out their arses.

sciaticafanatica · 31/07/2025 21:12

@RemusLupinsBiggestGroupiejust something that someone had put thought into.
not just sticking a ring in a bag and jumping on a plane to a mates wedding and proposing during their planned celebrations.
its just lazy… as are Christmas Day proposals

Musicaltheatremum · 31/07/2025 21:09

I announced my daughter's engagement during my wedding speech! Shed got engaged 10 days before...I was so delighted. It got a good clap and cheer and certainly didn't ruin the day. Just made it happier. Friend of my husband got engaged at his first wedding. He and his wife were at our wedding. It's what you make it.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 31/07/2025 21:08

sciaticafanatica · 31/07/2025 20:48

@Tiredofmebecause he obviously just had no original , meaningful thought other than to piggyback onto someone else’s celebration.
lazy and lacklustre

This is such bollocks. Proposing, in its very nature, isn't original. What would you deem 'meaningful' and 'original'? Naked on top of Mount Everest? A message in a bottle arriving thirty years after it was launched on Blackpool beach? Whilst scuba diving with elephants in Shangrila?

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 31/07/2025 21:08

Teenytwo · 31/07/2025 21:04

Unless you pushed the bride over so you could walk down the aisle and announce it then I think it’s fine

This is the only acceptable answer here. Nobody’s going to upstage a bride on her wedding day, she is the centre of attention and the day revolves round her and her groom.

IsItatrashmarriage · 31/07/2025 21:07

Nobody needed to know. You booked a week in advance. Should kept it private if you were that concerned LOL

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 31/07/2025 21:04

Idontjetwashthefucker · 31/07/2025 20:20

Your friends are dicks

This.

Congratulations OP!

Teenytwo · 31/07/2025 21:04

Unless you pushed the bride over so you could walk down the aisle and announce it then I think it’s fine

SunshineAndFizz · 31/07/2025 21:03

Rosscameasdoody · 31/07/2025 21:00

Why ? It happened before the wedding party arrived.

Show quote history

Oh come on, like no one is going to mention it?

It’s on the same holiday as the wedding, whether everyone had arrived yet or not. It’s the first thing they’ll hear when they do arrive and people will be interested in it/talking about it throughout

Zov · 31/07/2025 21:03

I think you could have waited til about a week or two after the wedding to tell people. As has been said, it seems a bit thunder-stealing. JMO.

Original poster
Westendgoer · 31/07/2025 21:03

sunnysiders · 31/07/2025 20:50

When did you announce it on insta (if you did)?

Not at all - we don’t actively use it, infact DP doesn’t even have an account and my last photo uploaded was two years ago!

OP posts:
muddyford · 31/07/2025 21:02

A close relation announced her pregnancy the day before my wedding. Miffed for five minutes then got over it.

Tiredofme · 31/07/2025 21:02

sciaticafanatica · 31/07/2025 20:48

@Tiredofmebecause he obviously just had no original , meaningful thought other than to piggyback onto someone else’s celebration.
lazy and lacklustre

Surely his thought was he wanted OP to marry him so he proposed to her? Isn't wanting someone to marry you meaningful enough?

Proposing isn't original : its a tradition.

Foreverm0re · 31/07/2025 21:02

op called it a “pre-wedding holiday” so surely the emphasis should be on the couple getting married.

AdoraBell · 31/07/2025 21:02

How the fuck did he overshadow the wedding? He didn’t propose during the wedding, why is up to everyone when he proposed?

Congratulations on your engagement 🥂

MarySueSaidBoo · 31/07/2025 21:01

I wouldn't have said anything until the wedding was over and everyone was back home. You were there to celebrate their wedding after all.