Backlash after DP proposed on pre-Wedding holiday

Hmmm I’m kind of on the fence but can’t put my finger on why…

if it was done a week before the wedding, not announced on the day etc etc then technically nothing at all wrong with it, things don’t and shouldn’t go on hold for one couples’s wedding.
Having said that I can see why it being done AT the location you were visiting because of the wedding some how that feels a bit.. I don’t know, can’t put my finger on it…O guess you could say it feels a bit off even though the wedding couple would have no right to feel off about it..?

Having said all that though…your friends shouldn’t have said anything to you since it’s not your fault as it was your fiancés choice to propose to you then not yours and it’s not like you can go back in time and change it so they should have kept out of it!

@atamlinit is thunder stealing/ attention seeking though.
They didn’t wait till they got home to announce it.
They took the shine off the wedding.
made it about them.
How lovely of them to do that at someone else destination wedding.
very special moment for them .

Honestly, I think even if he did it two weeks later while at home, it’d be met with the same criticism. “Why did he do it so close to our wedding?!” … “We’re still on our honeymoon.” People get quite silly about this imo.

What rubbish!
The wedding hadn’t taken place, the friends/ guests weren’t even there, he was just in a lovely place with his love, and proposed. It wasn’t a lazy proposal. It wasn’t in front of wedding guests, it wasn’t during the wedding celebrations. It wasn’t remotely stealing any thunder. It would have to be a pretty crap wedding if this proposal was all people were talking about. And it does sound very weddingzilla if the only thing you’re allowed to do on the whole holiday is think about the wedding couple.

Well I can tell you as a fact that absolutely no planning at all went into it so I assume you'd think it was the definition of lazy. I have been assured by DH on several occasions that it was completely spontaneous - the thought popped in his head and right out his mouth 😀

@Confabulations I’m not trying to convince anyone of anything.
its just an opinion.

For those saying it is thunder stealing, how?! They are on their own holiday, having a wedding doesn’t mean those planning to propose should wait for two weeks after the wedding to do so. It’s very controlling.

That’s exactly my point.

Of all of the 365 days of the year he could have chosen, of all the places across the world he could have chosen, he chose the few days leading up to their friends wedding, on a holiday they were on to attend their friends wedding. How lazy.

A proposal over the washing up would have been preferable for me in this case, and if I were the OP, personally I’d have kept the engagement quiet until everyone was back home.

@Westendgoer And didn't you create a thread about this last month? A day or two after the proposal?

They flew early to have their own holiday. Not everyone has the luxury of having multiple glamorous venues for getting engaged. Nor is it necessary. You are not going to persuade me that this engagement in any way, shape or form impacted on the wedding.

PS it's there, not their you were looking for.

Op, if they announce a pregnancy in the next few months or so, say they’re overshadowing your engagement. 🙄

That made me laugh out loud! Exactly right.

I think people who care about things like this have self esteem issues or they don’t have real problems in their lives and are bored

Christ on a bike, there are some miserable tossers here. My DH proposed very drunkenly in a solicitor’s doorway. This seems thought out and a lovely memory for you both. Lazy? Words fail me.

My engagement consisted of now DH rolling over after sex and saying hey, shall we get married followed by me saying yes. No big fuss, no photos of rings (didn't even have one), no choreography etc. 22 years later, and no regrets.

We were on holiday at the time. Can't decide if that makes it lazy and unoriginal now. 🤷‍♀️🤣

He didn't! You're not going to convince a lot of us that he did. Unless he actually proposed, publicly, during the reception itself, he wasn't using another else's occasion.

@Confabulationsthey were their for someone else wedding… that’s just lazy

More bollocks.

Of course he didn't hijack their plans. They don't own that specific part of the world, just because they are getting married there.

Good lord. It’s fine, and congratulations! They’re “overshadowing” your engagement with their stupid opinions. They need to wind their necks in.

I wouldn't call it thunder stealing but I still wouldn't like it. I definitely would have kept it under my hat till I got home. I would have felt uncomfortable even announcing it to the bridal party as most people I know think unfavourably of doing this.

@Timetodownsizewhy would I be horrified that your boyfriend didn’t use someone else’s occasion to propose to you.?

I think you should have kept it private until you were back home.

Weddings are very emotive events and they are truly about the bride (in the main)

You clearly haven’t done it out of malice and simply have been thoughtless

We will have to agree to massively disagree.

@Jaichangecentfoisdenomi imagine you are very pleased with both of those occasions.
so much so that you didn’t feel need to ask on a online platform for opinions that no one has to listen to or take to heart.
its just an opinion.