Backlash after DP proposed on pre-Wedding holiday

Tbh the people I know who had a big proposal and often then a big wedding have gone on and had the shortest marriages.
The ones with a spontaneous "let's get married" whilst walking the dog have made it to their 50ths. The Mauritius proposal and £20k weddings have ended in kids every other weekend and communications through an app.

As an aside - big proposals do not equate to a happier marriage.

Of my close friends, several who went for the 'Insta' proposal are now divorced. In hindsight, a lot of the 'showiness' was papering over cracks, even before being married.

A spur of the moment, private proposal with little to no 'effort' can be more honest and heart felt.

I honestly think anyone who is so precious about their wedding and wouldn’t just be happy for a friend needs a massive head wobble. They are just the type that gets divorced before they finish paying for their photos.

just don’t come back here in two years complaining that your SIL announcing a baby at your wedding 🤣

For those saying it took the shine off the wedding - I once went to a wedding where a guest proposed to their intended in the middle of the speeches!!!

Nothing wrong with using a trip to a nice destination as the scene of a proposal, especially if you wouldn't normally go anywhere that nice, BUT I do think you should have considered that this might be the outcome and kept the news to yourself until after everyone was home from the wedding.

There was no need to tell everyone right away.

I think I’d rather tell a proposal story about my DH asking me over the washing up than tell people “so we were on holiday in Rome to attend a friends wedding… and it was a few days before their wedding…“

If I turned up on holiday to watch and celebrate a friend getting married, and on arrival, a mutual friend was there announcing to our group of friends that she’s just got engaged and showing off a picture, I’d of course congratulate her, whilst inwardly cringing at them gegging in on someone else’s celebrations, and thinking she and her fiancé were utterly crass. I wouldn’t say anything to her though.

The OP can guarantee that the friends that had words with her about it definitely weren’t the only ones thinking it, others are just too polite to say.

And nobody highjacked this one or announced anything.

Evidence that they told any guest on the day?
They told friends when it happened. That’s all.
And if it did get out at the wedding, so what? What earthly difference could it make to anything?

I mean how is it attention grabbing? Can people only give attention to one thing in a day? Can’t people say ‘congrats’ one day and then another day, the next week, focus on a wedding? Weird if not.

This is bizarre. Weddings don’t exist in a vacuum where life doesn’t carry on around it!
a real friend should be overjoyed to hear their friend is engaged…!!

Why did anybody even need to know. You were out of order IMHO.

@DappledThings I never said it had.
i was replying to the comment about someone not minding if a proposal happened during the wedding

Nor have any of the guests at the wedding in question

@Tumblingthrough I’ve never felt the need to get married but I’ve also never been to a wedding that someone has highjacked for their own announcement

Congratulations op. Ignore all the nutters who think you've somehow done something wrong. It's not like your partner proposed at the reception in front of everyone.
I didn't even get a proposal. My sister announced she was getting married and my mum asked when we were going to get married, my dp just said "shall we have a double wedding" so that's what we did.

I'm sure it was the first time hearing the news for many guests.

I would love it if someone else got engaged at my wedding.
But then I’m not a self centred egocentric twat.

@cardibachwhat do you mean how?
the proposal itself is fine. The telling people before the ceremony is not.
everyone is there to celebrate the wedding couple, they even travelled for the wedding.
no one was there to feign excitement for an engagement announcement that could have waited till they got home.
if the ops friends think it was off to do it then my random opinion is just matching theirs

I am always astounded at the type of "friends" people on MN have. Honestly, while weddings are lovely for the couple and their families, they really aren't so important that everyone attending the wedding has to put their lives on hold and not do anything which might "overshadow" it. I wouldn't care if someone did announce their engagement at my wedding, which OP obviously didn't do.

Your friends are idiots OP. Ignore them and their seriously outdated views (and the same for the weird posters on here)

The6 didn’t announce on the wedding day.

Yabu.
You should have kept the news to yourself until after the wedding. You don't use a friend's wedding day to announce an engagement.
Thankfully he'd the sense not to ask you at the wedding venue.

How?

It’s completely fine! Our best man asked his girlfriend (and my best friend) to marry him on our wedding day! We had left after the evening reception and he did it in private in the grounds of the reception place. We were delighted to hear the news when we got back. There’s so much fuss about weddings these days and the bride has to be the centre of attention for months on end it seems. Other people have lives they want to be getting on with too!

@cardibach it’s just my opinion.
i personally would not do it.
its just a bit attention grabbing.

How does someone els3getting engaged take the shine off a wedding? Totally bemused.