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Original poster

Backlash after DP proposed on pre-Wedding holiday

256 replies

Westendgoer · 31/07/2025 20:19

I got engaged last month - DP proposed whilst we were on holiday prior to my friends Wedding. The holiday was in the same resort, but we went over a week before the wedding date as it was somewhere we’d always wanted to visit so made sense to combine the two.

I have had comments made by a couple of friends - not the bride - that this was a bit out of order and could have over shadowed the Wedding. I haven’t relayed to my DP, I don’t want it to taint the experience and personally I don’t see the issue with him proposing in the circumstances.

Do you agree with me that my friends have overreacted?

OP posts:
Caravaggiouch · 31/07/2025 20:45

I don’t really get why people propose on holidays to start with though. A rainy Tuesday at home is a far better time to have your day completely transformed for the better by a proposal. You’re already having a good time on holiday! Also the former is more reflective of your actual future married life.

Connectionsconundrum · 31/07/2025 20:45

Stealing thunder is such a load of bollocks! All eyes on the bride and groom at the ceremony and during speeches, of course. But the rest of it is a family and friends' get-together to celebrate the marriage. I'd be happy for my friend if I was the bride, and I heard about it. I'd think my wedding had made someone come over all romantic and want to propose.
Congratulations @Westendgoer 🥂

Timetochangemyname · 31/07/2025 20:44

It's fine. An abroad holiday is a massive expense these days, if people expect you to go abroad for a wedding then they need to understand it is likely your family holiday too.

Timetodownsize · 31/07/2025 20:41

Congratulations on your engagement. I'm astonished at a "lazy" proposal. ! Not everything has to be an Instagramable event.

DappledThings · 31/07/2025 20:38

sciaticafanatica · 31/07/2025 20:35

@DappledThingsis wasn’t just a holiday though . It was someone else’s wedding.
he literally put no thought into it other than cost cutting as their mates would be there so saves on a celebration.
as I said. A lazy even lacklustre proposal .

But it was also their holiday as they were there early.

Cost-cutting? What money is he saving?

A proposal doesn't have to be a big instagrammable occasion to be meaningful. I was proposed to during a break in an episode of Come Dine With Me 😂. Didn't make it lacklustre.

casualcrispenjoyer · 31/07/2025 20:38

It isn’t really on to announce your engagement at someone else’s party. You seem to think ‘announce’ means you stood on a chair with a megaphone. Telling people is enough. would have been so much more romantic and classier to keep it as your little secret.

just because some people think your friends are ‘shit stirring’ doesn’t mean you are vindicated. Just obviously a lot of people walking around with terrible social skills, who would happily use someone’s wedding as an engagement party.

no skin in this game- no bridezilla here. I got married in jeans in a registry office.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 31/07/2025 20:36

And of course it's not 'lazy' to propose on holiday in a nice place. It's not all about making stupid gestures for instagram and trying to be 'different' etc.

OP - please just be happy and ignore all the crap being spouted

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 31/07/2025 20:35

Yanbu.

We got married abroad and a couple who were over for our wedding got engaged the night before. We were just happy for them!

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 31/07/2025 20:35

Oh fgs. Of course you haven't stolen anybody's thunder. Nobody has exclusive control over places/months/other people's relationships. Tell your 'friends' to stop being such dicks. Congratulations!

If the bride and groom are upset by it, I'd say their relationship/egos very fragile indeed

sciaticafanatica · 31/07/2025 20:35

@DappledThingsis wasn’t just a holiday though . It was someone else’s wedding.
he literally put no thought into it other than cost cutting as their mates would be there so saves on a celebration.
as I said. A lazy even lacklustre proposal .

HenDoNot · 31/07/2025 20:35

I think “could have overshadowed the wedding” is a bit much, but I’d privately think your partner is certainly lacking in imagination, if the best place and time he could come up with for a proposal is when you’re on holiday to attend someone else’s wedding. It’s quite lazy.

CaptainFuture · 31/07/2025 20:33

DappledThings · 31/07/2025 20:24

Your "friends" are shit-stirring twats. Neither you or your fiance have done anything even slightly wrong.

You'll get a load of posters now telling you it was selfish and you've stolen the bride's thunder blah blah blah. Those people are as ridiculous as your friends.

This, how on earth could out shadow or 'thundersteal' of an actual wedding ?!

MyUmberSeal · 31/07/2025 20:32

Ffs. Your mates are knobhead bellends. With any luck you’ll tell them so too.

MarxistMags · 31/07/2025 20:32

Definitely over reacting, it was before the wedding, independent of the wedding sounds like a lovely idea. Congratulations to you both. X

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 31/07/2025 20:31

DappledThings · 31/07/2025 20:24

Your "friends" are shit-stirring twats. Neither you or your fiance have done anything even slightly wrong.

You'll get a load of posters now telling you it was selfish and you've stolen the bride's thunder blah blah blah. Those people are as ridiculous as your friends.

Guess who I don't think you should invite to the wedding...

DappledThings · 31/07/2025 20:30

sciaticafanatica · 31/07/2025 20:28

I mean it’s a lazy proposal but I don’t think it’s stolen anyone’s thunder .

Huh? Proposing on holiday is lazy? What does a proposal require for it not to be "lazy"?

sciaticafanatica · 31/07/2025 20:28

I mean it’s a lazy proposal but I don’t think it’s stolen anyone’s thunder .

SunshineAndFizz · 31/07/2025 20:27

It’s a bit thunder-stealing, yes.

Crunchymum · 31/07/2025 20:27

Westendgoer · 31/07/2025 20:23

We were over there before the party arrived

Show quote history

In that case I can see absolutely no issue what so ever. No reason for anyone to be pissed off. And no reason for random friends to voice their negative opinion.

Caravaggiouch · 31/07/2025 20:26

So long as you didn’t go around banging on about it, it’s fine.

Nevertrustacop · 31/07/2025 20:26

Tbh we had just got engaged before DBs wedding and we didn't announce it until after the wedding. Just to be sure we didn't steal anyone's thunder.

DappledThings · 31/07/2025 20:25

Nor would it have been necessary to keep it a secret at the reception. This idea that nobody else is allowed to have good news at someone else's wedding is also ridiculous.

DappledThings · 31/07/2025 20:24

Your "friends" are shit-stirring twats. Neither you or your fiance have done anything even slightly wrong.

You'll get a load of posters now telling you it was selfish and you've stolen the bride's thunder blah blah blah. Those people are as ridiculous as your friends.

Original poster
Westendgoer · 31/07/2025 20:23

Crunchymum · 31/07/2025 20:23

Depends.

Did you getting engaged overshadow the actual wedding? IE did you start telling people at your friends actual wedding?

I'm totally and utterly agog at some of the bridezilla behaviour I read on here and I'm usually always on the opposite bridezilla side but there is something a little bit off about your partner proposing "at" someone else's destination wedding. Unless you were there independent of the bridal party?

I'm not explaining it very well but if you were at the resort as part of the bridal party on an extended stay with bride and groom then it just seems a little bit thoughtless? This is just my unmarried musing.

Edited

We were over there before the party arrived

OP posts:
Antsinmypantsneedtodance · 31/07/2025 20:23

If you told people right away or at the wedding events, its lacking thought a bit and i can see why people might be a bit put out by it. If you waited until you were home to announce then I can't see a huge issue.