Page 4 | To ask what little joys you find in life?

PeapodBurgundy · 2025-07-31T18:32:13+00:00

I've got myself into a little rut of self pity and can't seem to get myself out of it. Objectively things are tough at the moment, but I find myself jumping to the negative in everything, which isn't helping matters. My usual go-to pick me ups genuinely are off limits for a period of time, but I know this will pass and things will start to fall back into step again. I need to start focusing on the positives more. What little things do you see/do that give you that little moment of joy or satisfaction? Today's 'happy' has been the TAAT of the batshit AIBU threads some people have posted. I could be much worse!

Moreteaandchocolate · 31/07/2025 20:09

Audio books make every day chores and commuting more fun for me 🤩

Ticking off a list app on my phone when I complete a task gives a little sense of achievement too!

Matcha tea after work 😊

ComfortFoodCafe · 31/07/2025 20:07

reading a book with a cat on my lap.
watching vegetables & flowers grow at my allotment.
my teen fell asleep on my shoulder the other day - reminded me of when he was small! Very happy moment.

tangerinemagic · 31/07/2025 20:06

My coconut matcha every morning
Being on maternity leave with my 9 month old, feeling so lucky I can spend so much time with him
My almost 3 year old suddenly being delightful!
Sleep!!! Both are sleeping
my dog
my iced matcha when I go for walks
my social life starting to return

Original poster

PeapodBurgundy · 31/07/2025 20:06

mygrandchildrenrock · 31/07/2025 19:58

This is a very small thing but makes me smile every time it happens. After I’ve squirted washing up liquid into the bowl there are often small bubbles in the air. They make me really happy!

I love it when that happens. My late Nana used to tell me they were fairies, and that's why it was called Fairy Liquid <3

OP posts:

FioFioSILK · 31/07/2025 20:05

Taking pics of stunning trees. Noticing nature a butterfly or dragonfly. Watching my dog do zoomies. Listening to the voices of my two grandsons. Yoga. Eating green veg. Clearing out my wardrobe. Sitting on the sofa watching TV as a family. My husband's fish and rice dinner. Waking up to sunshine. First cuppa. Making bread. Roasting seeds. A friend actually calling me for a catch up. Lying in the sun. Taking a power nap. Raspberry dark chocolate.

Original poster

PeapodBurgundy · 31/07/2025 20:04

JustGoClickLikeALightSwitch · 31/07/2025 19:54

I’m not sure this will be helpful to you, but on the off chance. I’m autistic. Some ND people (and possibly people with chronic illness iirc) think about their energy levels in terms of spoons. You have x spoons a day and you learn/try to accept your limitations - so if on a given day you have played with your child, tidied one drawer/put the shoes away, answered one email - whatever items from the inevitably endless to do list you have done - it’s ok to acknowledge what you have achieved and then stop, rather than pushing on and on until you risk burning out.

I rolled my eyes big time when I first read about this, but actually over time I realised that I was guilty of writing a ridiculous to do list, actually accomplishing a fair amount, and then beating myself up because I hadn’t done every last thing. And (though it wasn’t the goal) slowly over time I have gained energy back from not beating myself up so much.

Maybe just thinking about the positives is where you are at now, rather than a commitment to journaling which becomes another obligation/failure. Or taking pleasure in a walk to the park, a coffee or a biscuit.

Please take care of yourself. You may be being quite hard on yourself.

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I'm AuDHD. DS is autistic, DD autistic and lately PDA has been mentioned. Things are not straightforward for any of us. It's always a bad time of year with the DC being out of routine, and anxiety about new classes starting in September. I'm a teacher and have similar anxieties around the new incoming students (I'm in FE, so haven't even met a lot of them yet, so I have no idea what my classes will be like). I'm a single parent, and their Dad is less present at the moment due to a temporary job he has taken on, so I've had no support or respite since April. I'm very harsh on myself. I did get slightly better, I used 'The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck', which is similar to the spoon theory with a fuck budget and a limited capacity mental barn.

I was given some extra responsibility at work last year, and the outcome of that was quite poor. Partly due to circumstances outside of my control, and partly to my decision making, although I genuinely feel I wouldn't have done anything differently. I could only have known that wasn't the best way to structure things by trialling it. I have maintained that responsibility for next year, and have tweaked the structure to hopefully make improvements for a better outcome.

That coincided with the DC melting down more as they always do towards the end of the school year, so I've ended up throwing myself a little pity party.

We are all healthy, we have a nice home, enough money to cover the expenses and a little for treats (because I spend carefully). We are fortunate. Everything that is 'going wrong' is either temporary or fixable. I just need to get out of my rut.

OP posts:

Cattery · 31/07/2025 20:03

My cat coming in buzzing after he’s been out all night
Putting extras in my trolley for the local food bank who are collecting at the supermarket
Ordering a hot curry after a few drinks.

shellyleppard · 31/07/2025 19:59

Finding a new book by my favourite authors
Listening to birdsong in the early hours
A empty house
A cup of tea and a biscuit...or four!! ❤️

mygrandchildrenrock · 31/07/2025 19:58

This is a very small thing but makes me smile every time it happens. After I’ve squirted washing up liquid into the bowl there are often small bubbles in the air. They make me really happy!

cornbunting · 31/07/2025 19:57

Birds.
Leaves.
Insects and other small creatures busy with their lives.
A cup of tea, especially if accompanied by a dark chocolate hobnob.
Music.
David Suchet as Poirot.
Someone else washing/drying my hair.
A really good book.
Hugs, especially from my closest people.
Tangible results - folding laundry, mowing the lawn, finishing a task at work, making dinner, finishing an item that I'm crocheting, etc.

Finding pleasure in small things is the secret to a happy life, I think.

Tedsnan1 · 31/07/2025 19:55

I'm currently watching Live Aid on BBC and been dancing for my socks off. I was feeling really rather sad earlier and now I'm buzzing 😊.

usedtobeaylis · 31/07/2025 19:54

Sinking into a hot bath with a good book
Sinking into a comfy bed after said bath with a cup of tea and the smell of freshly washed hair

Two absolute joys that I hardly get to do these days but I enjoy so much when I do.

Other little joys:
My daughter velcroing herself to me during the night
Seeing the woman at work that I've had a huge crush on for ages
Getting my exercise in before 8am
A clean bathroom
Garlic chicken

GOODCAT · 31/07/2025 19:54

Try as many things that are as new to you as possible. They can just be as simple as walking a different way at lunchtime or cooking something new or trying a food you have never had before or identifying a tree or a cloud you haven't seen before. It is the newness and curiosity that is really good for you.

Also get outside and move as much as possible.

JustGoClickLikeALightSwitch · 31/07/2025 19:54

PeapodBurgundy · 31/07/2025 19:43

I bought a journal a while back with a view to noting down the positives, and steps I could take to manage the negatives. Again, I have done nothing with it. I will make the effort to start that today.

Show quote history

I’m not sure this will be helpful to you, but on the off chance. I’m autistic. Some ND people (and possibly people with chronic illness iirc) think about their energy levels in terms of spoons. You have x spoons a day and you learn/try to accept your limitations - so if on a given day you have played with your child, tidied one drawer/put the shoes away, answered one email - whatever items from the inevitably endless to do list you have done - it’s ok to acknowledge what you have achieved and then stop, rather than pushing on and on until you risk burning out.

I rolled my eyes big time when I first read about this, but actually over time I realised that I was guilty of writing a ridiculous to do list, actually accomplishing a fair amount, and then beating myself up because I hadn’t done every last thing. And (though it wasn’t the goal) slowly over time I have gained energy back from not beating myself up so much.

Maybe just thinking about the positives is where you are at now, rather than a commitment to journaling which becomes another obligation/failure. Or taking pleasure in a walk to the park, a coffee or a biscuit.

Please take care of yourself. You may be being quite hard on yourself.

AustralianCrunch · 31/07/2025 19:53

Audiobooks (free to download) from Borrowbox
Books
Good coffee / tea in a nice mug
Journalling in a beautiful book with a fountain pen
Feeding the birds

Original poster

PeapodBurgundy · 31/07/2025 19:52

GOODCAT · 31/07/2025 19:51

Try downloading the Merlin bird app on your phone. I am not all that interested in birds, but this has me absolutely hooked. I use it every day and although most of the time I can't see them it makes me realise how many are around.

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Thank you for this tip, off to download it now

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GOODCAT · 31/07/2025 19:51

PeapodBurgundy · 31/07/2025 19:38

I did buy a new bird feeder a couple of weeks ago, I only watched it for about two days. I really should make the effort to sit out a bit and enjoy it. The fresh air will do me the world of good as well instead of festering inside

Show quote history

Try downloading the Merlin bird app on your phone. I am not all that interested in birds, but this has me absolutely hooked. I use it every day and although most of the time I can't see them it makes me realise how many are around.

Original poster

PeapodBurgundy · 31/07/2025 19:50

Thanks for all of the comments so far. I'm genuinely feeling a little more level already having some concrete ideas that I know will pick up my mood over the next few days.

I've let myself get into bad habits, and have stopped trying to help myself. I know these things are simple, but I feel like I just needed to be reminded.

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SabreIsMyFave · 31/07/2025 19:49

Feeding the birds and the hedgehogs. Lots of flowers. Long walks in the countryside. Going to the beach. Walks by the river and the canal.

Zanatdy · 31/07/2025 19:48

My kids
My dog - sometimes I just look at him sitting next to me and think omg you are SO cute
country walks and pub lunches with my walking group
lunch with friends
going into London for the day, I love London and lucky to live 30 mins train journey away. Sitting in St James Park or walking along the South Bank makes me happy.

CurlewKate · 31/07/2025 19:48

I have always been a very early riser-and I always go and sit outside with a cup of tea at sunrise. It really starts my day well. I do Wordle and Connections at the same time-which can sometimes bring my mood down a bit!

MyUmberSeal · 31/07/2025 19:47

Currently drinking gin and tonic with series one of Ab Fab on in the background. All is good.

Original poster

PeapodBurgundy · 31/07/2025 19:47

TimothyIsNotAnArmardillo · 31/07/2025 19:42

Clean sheets
Listening to the geese honking as they fly overhead
Making a little bit of an effort with meals - bagels, cream cheese and salmon for breakfast.
The dogs absolute delight in being given a treat or new toy
Our boiler has been playing up but was fixed yesterday so a hot shower was blissful.
This one sounds weird but taking pictures of the sky - I have an Instagram account of sky pictures - makes me stop and look and see the beauty
Walking barefoot on grass or the beach
Tidying My house. I’m naturally messy, so this summer am making a real effort to declutter and tidy. I’ve only done two rooms so far but it’s giving me huge pleasure and I’m looking forward to living with less

I am making the effort to get outside more while we're off for the summer holidays. We have a few low-key outings planned. I'm rubbish at taking pictures, yet always enjoy looking back over the ones I do take. I will be mindful to try and take some of the nice bits of our day.

Fresh, line dried sheets are one of my favourite things. Disgusting admission, but mine are overdue a change. DS wets through every night (SEND) so I haven't been bothered with more bed changing, but you are right. Fresh sheets are lovely, and I always sleep better the first night.

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pinkbackground · 31/07/2025 19:44

My husbands cooking
An after work coffee and biscuits
Walking my dogs and watch them happily run around
A good tv series

Praying4Peace · 31/07/2025 19:44

A relaxing bath
Sitting in my garden with a cup of tea
At nightly glass of port