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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what little joys you find in life?

112 replies

PeapodBurgundy · 31/07/2025 19:32

I've got myself into a little rut of self pity and can't seem to get myself out of it. Objectively things are tough at the moment, but I find myself jumping to the negative in everything, which isn't helping matters.

My usual go-to pick me ups genuinely are off limits for a period of time, but I know this will pass and things will start to fall back into step again.

I need to start focusing on the positives more. What little things do you see/do that give you that little moment of joy or satisfaction?

Today's 'happy' has been the TAAT of the batshit AIBU threads some people have posted. I could be much worse!

OP posts:
hattie43 · 31/07/2025 21:13

My dogs
coffee outside in the morning sun
my garden
fresh flowers
candles
good book
podcasts
travel

OrdinaryMagicOfAcorns · 31/07/2025 21:12

I also grow a lot of herbs and get pleasure from drying them to make teas.

Ive started doing that this year, with linden, mint and nettles. I might try and get hold of some chamomile. Any particular herbs you keep for teas?

Dietlady58 · 31/07/2025 21:10

When the dustmen empty the black bin!

OrdinaryMagicOfAcorns · 31/07/2025 21:09

As per username.

This corrupt society will pass as all others have before it. The stars will still be there in the sky, and there will still be trees catching the wind in their branches.

Reliablesource · 31/07/2025 21:07

JustGoClickLikeALightSwitch · 31/07/2025 20:33

I live in zone 2 of south London Grin.

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I’m shocked, I was also in SE London! Maybe I just came across as a weirdo peddling poisoned ice creams! 😂

Eviebeans · 31/07/2025 20:50

Getting into a freshly changed bed at the end of the day

RubberyChicken · 31/07/2025 20:49

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Hedjwitch · 31/07/2025 20:48

I try and find the joy in small things but it's not always easy.
For me it's nature and the outdoor environment.I keep a journal of all the things I see.
I also grow a lot of herbs and get pleasure from drying them to make teas.

Vintagefair · 31/07/2025 20:47

@Tupperwarelid my friend always has a jigsaw underway in his kitchen. Every single person who visits his house ends up poring over it and trying to put a few pieces in.

Tupperwarelid · 31/07/2025 20:42

Jigsaws. Dont have to be expensive, charity shops normally have loads. I love just sitting for 15 minutes and putting a few pieces together.

Juiceinacup · 31/07/2025 20:33

Start using all your good stuff everyday, if you have anything you keep for best use it now and enjoy it. Nice clothes in your wardrobe but you live in the same leggings and comfy tops, stop that, wear your good stuff even if it’s just to the supermarket. Do you have nice perfume, bubble bath or skin products in your cupboard ( may have been a gift) get them out and have a pamper yourself evening invite a friend round and create a home spa. Do you or your friend have a bottle of wine or Prosecco lurking around the house get that opened, use your nice glasses and if you can manage it get some nice nibbles from the supermarket relax and enjoy. Deep condition your hair and give yourself a manicure while you watch a programme you especially like on the TV or listen to some favourite music.

JustGoClickLikeALightSwitch · 31/07/2025 20:33

Reliablesource · 31/07/2025 20:31

Love this but I’m guessing you don’t live in a big city? I bought a box of 4 choc ices from a supermarket last summer as was much cheaper than a single ice cream. Came outside and took one for myself and offered the other 3 to various passers-by, all of whom politely declined or looked at me as if I was a nutter and walked on by! Had to chuck all 3 in the bin!

Show quote history

I live in zone 2 of south London Grin.

Reliablesource · 31/07/2025 20:31

JustGoClickLikeALightSwitch · 31/07/2025 19:35

When the weather is hot I often buy a four-pack of ice creams for me and DD (about £1, and cheaper than two individual ice creams). I give away the other two to the first two people we meet on the way out of the shop. DD is happy, two random people are happy, and I feel happier for improving someone else’s day a little bit.

Love this but I’m guessing you don’t live in a big city? I bought a box of 4 choc ices from a supermarket last summer as was much cheaper than a single ice cream. Came outside and took one for myself and offered the other 3 to various passers-by, all of whom politely declined or looked at me as if I was a nutter and walked on by! Had to chuck all 3 in the bin!

Scarlettpixie · 31/07/2025 20:30

Filter coffee every morning in a nice mug.
Ideally drank in the in the sunshine before work.
My dog.
My son (who is off to uni soon 😭).
A glass of wine
Ideally drank in the garden after work on a warm day.
Ticking things off a to do list.
Throwing shit away.
Giving stuff away.
A catch up with a friend.
My bed (purchased this year and so comfy).
A good podcast or audio book.
Flowers.
A shower or long bath.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 31/07/2025 20:29

Sun rises and sun sets.

I love them. Especially with a cup of tea in the morning and a cold glass of something at night.

Epli · 31/07/2025 20:26

olivehater · 31/07/2025 20:18

First brew of the day outside looking at my garden. If it’s cold I wrap up.

Same! And:
-books
-art (I have a habit of checking out at least 1 art object a day, I got inspired by Raf Simons documentary on his first season at Dior)
-shower gels - I was gifted a set of Molton Brown shower gels and they are divine! I have a 3 year old and currently 38w pregnant, so time spent in shower is much needed relief from daily grind

RandomMess · 31/07/2025 20:24

I go and do a slug inspection first thing in the morning, trying to let my Dalia’s recover!! I am winning the war 💪

Vintagefair · 31/07/2025 20:23

RayKray · 31/07/2025 20:22

Lifting.

Shop or weight?

RayKray · 31/07/2025 20:22

Lifting.

olivehater · 31/07/2025 20:18

First brew of the day outside looking at my garden. If it’s cold I wrap up.

Betsy95 · 31/07/2025 20:15

5 minutes of quiet drinking a coffee with no one talking to me … just silence

Flowers … I buy a bunch but also can’t waste loads of money so just get the ones in the bargain bin!

the very rare occasions when I can wake up and sit in bed watching a programme to myself

PaddlingSwan · 31/07/2025 20:15

Ardbeg Ten.

Vintagefair · 31/07/2025 20:15

I've discovered that you can order books on line from the library. So now when I read about or see a book I think I'll like I order it up and get a message when it's there to collect. I sometimes have several to collect so I have a nice walk out to the library and come out swinging a bag full of (free!) books over my arm. I sit outside the local cafe with a coffee and browse through the books.

Also, a pair of peregrine falcons have started visiting the church tower opposite my house. Listening to them and watching them swoop around the church yard is making me very happy.

Original poster
PeapodBurgundy · 31/07/2025 20:11

Moreteaandchocolate · 31/07/2025 20:09

Audio books make every day chores and commuting more fun for me 🤩

Ticking off a list app on my phone when I complete a task gives a little sense of achievement too!

Matcha tea after work 😊

Edited

I had the Sweepy app, that gives you a cheerful little 'bing' noise when you complete a task. When I got my new phone, I never got around to setting it back up again, but that really worked for me, it's on my list for tomorrow to set it back up, even if I don't do anything from it straight away

OP posts:
JustGoClickLikeALightSwitch · 31/07/2025 20:10

PeapodBurgundy · 31/07/2025 20:04

I'm AuDHD. DS is autistic, DD autistic and lately PDA has been mentioned. Things are not straightforward for any of us. It's always a bad time of year with the DC being out of routine, and anxiety about new classes starting in September. I'm a teacher and have similar anxieties around the new incoming students (I'm in FE, so haven't even met a lot of them yet, so I have no idea what my classes will be like). I'm a single parent, and their Dad is less present at the moment due to a temporary job he has taken on, so I've had no support or respite since April. I'm very harsh on myself. I did get slightly better, I used 'The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck', which is similar to the spoon theory with a fuck budget and a limited capacity mental barn.

I was given some extra responsibility at work last year, and the outcome of that was quite poor. Partly due to circumstances outside of my control, and partly to my decision making, although I genuinely feel I wouldn't have done anything differently. I could only have known that wasn't the best way to structure things by trialling it. I have maintained that responsibility for next year, and have tweaked the structure to hopefully make improvements for a better outcome.

That coincided with the DC melting down more as they always do towards the end of the school year, so I've ended up throwing myself a little pity party.

We are all healthy, we have a nice home, enough money to cover the expenses and a little for treats (because I spend carefully). We are fortunate. Everything that is 'going wrong' is either temporary or fixable. I just need to get out of my rut.

Show quote history

A fuck budget sounds eminently sensible! Good luck with everything. I hope you have a bit of routine and break over the summer.