Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Those who don't decorate but wear designer

404 replies

OceanStorm · 31/07/2025 18:20

AIBU to think those who choose to not properly decorate their homes but wear designer clothes/beauty treatments have their priorities wrong? Is it a class thing?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Ladydish · 31/07/2025 19:22

OceanStorm · 31/07/2025 18:29

Painting walls and buying decorative items

I personally hate “decorative items” and have a very minimal approach to home decor. I also don’t wear designer clothes.

My priorities are travel, theatre and experiences for DC not that I care at all what others think about that!

EmeraldRoulette · 31/07/2025 19:22

OceanStorm · 31/07/2025 19:17

Not wealthy. And it's not about the choice of furniture whether from ikea or second hand but the fact you have chosen a specific piece that you like that suits the home. Rather than having worn out furniture dirty walls etc whilst maintaining your outside appearance

Well, the sofa I'm sitting on is one I pinched from my parents about 25 years ago. I think due to its age, it's in excellent condition and it's very heavy. The removal men actually swore when they picked it up 😂 then they said to me that they were just assuming it was some modern lightweight thing.

The walls, I moved in about two years ago and I haven't repainted on top of the off-white that the building company did. It's just me here so I don't think the walls need cleaning.

The rest of the furniture is not great - it fits into a new build so it's properly curated.

But yeah, what I look like when I go out is more important. I'm not particularly well dressed or expensively dressed but I'm reasonably well presented, if that makes sense.

If you gave me £2000 and told me I could either spend it on the flat or I could spend it on clothing, I would definitely choose clothing. But that's not just about what you look like. It's about being comfortable and having nice fabrics etc.

often when I'm home I'm too tired to really be concerned about what it looks like. There is also an unhung picture by the television.

FlipFlopShopInHawaii · 31/07/2025 19:21

FullOfMomsense · 31/07/2025 18:37

I get what you mean OP- I know some friends with the fancy car, clothes etc plenty of money and always look lovely, but their homes are outdated. I don't think it's a bad thing at all, it's just odd to me that they care a lot about looks and aesthetics but don't seem to see their home in the same way.

Obviously I don't think because you own a few designer items you must have a brand new kitchen, bathroom and crushed velvet furniture, but it's odd to drive a range rover you own outright, wear expensive clothes and have a very high income, but you sit on worn out sofas that came with the house, and your kitchen doors are hanging on for dear life.

Serious question @FullOfMomsense ... if they like their home decor why is it "outdated?
Because it doesn't fit the current trend? Why would someone need to change their wallpaper / furniture etc... Because some fashion police decide it's "outdated"?

That's why I decorate the way I like not what's fashionable!

Ridiculous notions!!

saltandvinegarchipsticks · 31/07/2025 19:20

OceanStorm · 31/07/2025 19:12

@saltandvinegarchipsticks is that a new word for you?

Of course not, I’m just not pretentious enough to use it in this context. I’m sure you’re fully aware of how it comes across though, and are enjoying this goady thread.

BackToLurk · 31/07/2025 19:20

3WildOnes · 31/07/2025 19:18

I would definitely rather spend my money on a designer dress than 'decorative items' for my house. As it is, I do neither! My house is comfy and functional but lots of rooms are dated and haven't been touched in years. Furniture is miss matched and lots was inherited or sourced cheaply second hand.
I spend my money on holidays and school fees. We all have different priorities!

I spend my money on the dog, which also why it’s not worth decorating.

Also, I don’t really understand cushions.

Medlar · 31/07/2025 19:20

OceanStorm · 31/07/2025 19:17

Not wealthy. And it's not about the choice of furniture whether from ikea or second hand but the fact you have chosen a specific piece that you like that suits the home. Rather than having worn out furniture dirty walls etc whilst maintaining your outside appearance

But there you go again. Do you think no one sees inside people's houses? I'm assuming you don't have the kind of open house where family and friends and neighbours are always in and out, if your logic is that the people you're criticising neglect their houses because no one sees inside them, while priorisiting their 'outside appearance'?

LaDeeDaDeeDumb · 31/07/2025 19:20

OceanStorm · 31/07/2025 19:18

Birds of a feather flock together

So you’re insulting your friends now

SomeOfTheTrouble · 31/07/2025 19:19

OceanStorm · 31/07/2025 19:18

Birds of a feather flock together

Quite. And thankfully, all of my friends are kind/funny/loving, despite what their homes look like.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 31/07/2025 19:19

OceanStorm · 31/07/2025 19:14

Yes definitely. It's not about what you buy but the fact you chose to put effort into your home

Oh that's a relief, as our sofa was curated from the Argos catalogue and I put some cushions which match our curtain material on to it.

I'm not sure if the OP would disapprove or salute me.

BackToLurk · 31/07/2025 19:19

stclementine · 31/07/2025 19:13

My grandmother r called them dust collectors. I also don’t do much housework beyond the minimum

TBH sometimes the minimum is pushing it

3WildOnes · 31/07/2025 19:18

I would definitely rather spend my money on a designer dress than 'decorative items' for my house. As it is, I do neither! My house is comfy and functional but lots of rooms are dated and haven't been touched in years. Furniture is miss matched and lots was inherited or sourced cheaply second hand.
I spend my money on holidays and school fees. We all have different priorities!

OceanStorm · 31/07/2025 19:18

SomeOfTheTrouble · 31/07/2025 19:15

I would rather have a friend who has a shabby home and spends all their money on designer gear but is kind/funny/loving, than one who comes across as an absolute cunt.

Birds of a feather flock together

OP posts:
Tiredofwhataboutery · 31/07/2025 19:17

I don’t think it really matters so long as house is relatively clean. I do think we all prioritise our spending I drive a cheap car and give no fucks whereas for some it’s an expensive pride and joy.

Sadly I have neither a well decorated house nor a designer bag and hsve opted to have expensive children instead.

Mangotangoisshit · 31/07/2025 19:17

Are you the weirdo with moss all over the house and mushroom ornaments?

CandyCane457 · 31/07/2025 19:17

This post is so judgey and bizzare, and I am so here for the comments!

I personally don’t wear designer clothes and like to do my home nicely. But it is NOTHING to do with how people perceive me, it’s just my personal preference. Whereas my boyfriend would quite happily live without all our cushions, candles, wall art, vases and other various knick knacks, and enjoy his branded t shirts.

OceanStorm · 31/07/2025 19:17

EmeraldRoulette · 31/07/2025 19:13

@OceanStorm I'm guessing you're wealthy

which I don't have a problem with

I just think it's the kind of theory a wealthy person would have

to curate everything properly in my flat would cost a lot and I'm guessing you wouldn't consider Ikea acceptable.

when you said about perception and reality, was it a question or a statement?

Not wealthy. And it's not about the choice of furniture whether from ikea or second hand but the fact you have chosen a specific piece that you like that suits the home. Rather than having worn out furniture dirty walls etc whilst maintaining your outside appearance

OP posts:
booknerdhead · 31/07/2025 19:16

Anyone who uses the word ‘curate’ or its close relative ‘elevate’ is obviously socially insecure.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 31/07/2025 19:16

SomeOfTheTrouble · 31/07/2025 19:15

I would rather have a friend who has a shabby home and spends all their money on designer gear but is kind/funny/loving, than one who comes across as an absolute cunt.

Oh, gorgeous reply!

SusanChurchouse · 31/07/2025 19:15

I hate the disorganisation involved in decorating a house. Moving furniture, taking things off walls and windows, all the prepping. It took me a long time to be able to get my house painted because I struggle with this. I have a wishlist of things I’d like done at the moment but need reliable tradespeople to do some work and finding those is bloody difficult.

clothes are easy. You buy them. You wear them.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 31/07/2025 19:15

Doggymummar · 31/07/2025 19:12

Last time I had a visitor was more than a decade ago. And I rent so I'll continue to spend my disposable income how I like. Thanks for the concern though.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

SomeOfTheTrouble · 31/07/2025 19:15

I would rather have a friend who has a shabby home and spends all their money on designer gear but is kind/funny/loving, than one who comes across as an absolute cunt.

LadySuzanne · 31/07/2025 19:15

OceanStorm · 31/07/2025 18:48

@aCatCalledFawkes No. Nice furniture especially curated for the room or style of your choice

Oh dear, "curated".

OceanStorm · 31/07/2025 19:14

Fancyfencepost · 31/07/2025 19:13

Does buying my sofa from the Argos catalogue count as curating? Chose it specially!

Yes definitely. It's not about what you buy but the fact you chose to put effort into your home

OP posts:
FlipFlopShopInHawaii · 31/07/2025 19:14

OceanStorm · 31/07/2025 18:36

For instance a new build kept with the plain white walls, no rugs no lamps no art

But what if that's the style someone likes? Do they have to have these things to avoid your judgement.

TroysMammy · 31/07/2025 19:14

OceanStorm · 31/07/2025 18:29

Painting walls and buying decorative items

Decorative items like Live Love and Laugh you mean?