Posting here for traffic. If it's inappropriate please report and I will get it moved.
Summary: I have met a man who I really, really like. He is attractive, kind, respectful, emotionally intelligent, intellectually curious, respectful of my co-parenting responsibilities and makes me happy.
He told me almost immediately that he has cold sores and has herpes outbreaks down below. I cant tell you how much I appreciated this honesty - we hadn't done anything at all yet at this point; not even a kiss - but he was so honest and clear and answered any questions I had etc. I have so much respect for how he handled it. I come from a culture where dishonesty by omission is quite standard when it comes to STI issues.
We have been seeing each other and it's great. I want to make it clear I have no issue with how he has handled it, or that he has it. He has fallen over himself to be communicative / keep me safe. We don't kiss when he has a cold sore obviously and we definitely have a very cautious approach to any other intimacy - he is fastidious about it.
He is respectful, considerate, communicative, careful and all this on top of the fact that I really like him.
My question is:
TLDR:
How often normally would you expect these outbreaks to occur?
Reason for asking is that he has had cold sores on his lips back to back for almost 3 weeks now. One went down and just when it was crusting over another one popped up.
Down below, it seems to take a really long time for them to heal and he absolutely shuts down any touching etc during these periods (rightly so, not complaining) but it just seems like these are a lot of outbreaks.
He doesn't eat well. He does a physical job and when he gets in he just eats anything. I have tried to add in more veg etc to our joint meals, more fruit, vitamins etc but I just feel like he is really run down. I am also not ready to sign up to doing all the cooking - we are just seeing each other at this point.
We haven't had a clear run of uninterrupted intimacy (from kisses to other things) for more than a week I don't think in 8 months. Is that normal?
I want to be sensitive; I in no way want to tell him how to manage his health but I wondered if this outbreak frequency is too high? It seems to be, to me, although I don't know much about it.
Any suggestions from anyone?
Other than trying to get him to look after himself more (diet, exercise) and trying to calm my fanny gallops, I'd really appreciate some ideas / lived experiences or anything. It just feels like it's very frequent.
TIA
Sorry it's long.