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Original poster

To think this behaviour can be seen a bit rude?

118 replies

Ffghdss · 31/07/2025 14:17

We are from an Indian family and DS has a name that often goes mispronounced. It never really bothered him. In sixth form the school opens up to externals and becomes mixed so there's new people to meet.

In class his table were chatting and DS said something around the lines "well this is actually how my name is pronounced". One (white) girl on the table found this absolutely hilarious and made attempts to pronounce DS's name correctly. She pronounces it like 3/4 correctly and makes a genuine attempt. I don't think that's an issue and think it's nice.

But DS told me that the first time she attempted to say his name she burst into a fit of giggles. DS tells me now every time she says his name she'll laugh a bit and giggle to herself. DS personally doesn't mind as he's got a crush on her.

It was just that he was telling me about her and how she's one of the few people that make an attempt to actually say it's name how it's actually pronounced. But it's just for some reason she finds it "funny" and laughs after saying his name.

When DH and I moved to the UK we didn't let people say our names in a different way just so it was easier for others to pronounce. I don't like the idea of this person thinking DS's name is a "funny foreign name".

OP posts:
phoenixrosehere · 01/08/2025 19:13

Ffghdss · 01/08/2025 17:57

Why do people think she likes him? I've said that DS told me she turned him down.

DS tells me she doesn't just do say "hello" or "hello [DS' name]" she'll purposely go out and say his name and accentuate the pronunciation and giggle after.

That makes it worse. Regardless, she is being rude.

You can be not intending to be rude and still be rude, however in this case , there is no excuse for such behaviour and doubtful the same pass would be given to a teenage boy.

Brainstorm23 · 01/08/2025 18:57

CurlewKate · 01/08/2025 10:27

It is a bit depressing that so many people are excusing this girl for not getting the name right. Particularly on a site that regularly suggests limiting access to a child to a MIL who mispronounces/misspells the baby’s name.

Edited

Not every language in the world uses the Latin alphabet or the same sounds as English. There are sounds in different languages that just don't exist in English which make pronouncing names in those languages nigh on impossible. The English spellings of foreign names are an approximation at best in some cases.

BlueyNeedsToFuckOff · 01/08/2025 18:56

Ffghdss · 01/08/2025 18:53

No need to giggle after though?

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True, and I think that is rude - I was just commenting on the pronunciation point that a pp made

Original poster
Ffghdss · 01/08/2025 18:53

BlueyNeedsToFuckOff · 01/08/2025 18:23

But it might be as close as she can get.

Not everyone is able to correctly pronounce sounds that don’t exist in their first language. Most sensible people realise this and don’t have an issue.

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No need to giggle after though?

OP posts:
BlueyNeedsToFuckOff · 01/08/2025 18:23

CurlewKate · 01/08/2025 17:32

80% correct is still wrong!

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But it might be as close as she can get.

Not everyone is able to correctly pronounce sounds that don’t exist in their first language. Most sensible people realise this and don’t have an issue.

Cinaferna · 01/08/2025 18:18

She could be embarrassed at her inability. I teach and always make a big effort to get student names right. But one year I had a man whose name was Mikhael. He kept correcting my pronunciation and got really wound up at me saying it wrong but I genuinely couldn't hear the difference between what he said and what I said. I ended up feeling awkward calling on him in class.

Olderbutt · 01/08/2025 18:07

sweeneytoddsrazor · 31/07/2025 14:21

She may be very well laughing at her attempts to pronounce it, rather than it being the name itself she finds funny. It may well be to cover her embarrassment at not being able to do it.

Absolutely this! It's really common for youngercwomen/girls to giggle when they're embarrassed about trying something

CyberStrider · 01/08/2025 18:05

My name has a th sound in it, it's very common for non English speakers not to be able to say it, sometimes there might be repeated attempts at the th sound, complete with exaggerated tongue positioning and giggling. There's no malice, it stems from self consciousness and embarrassment.

Original poster
Ffghdss · 01/08/2025 17:57

Why do people think she likes him? I've said that DS told me she turned him down.

DS tells me she doesn't just do say "hello" or "hello [DS' name]" she'll purposely go out and say his name and accentuate the pronunciation and giggle after.

OP posts:
tartyflette · 01/08/2025 17:40

It sounds to me that the laughing and giggles could stem from a lack of confidence, quite common even in older teenagers, she's aware she hasn't got the pronunciation quite right and she's a bit embarrassed perhaps?

Mimbl · 01/08/2025 17:33

She's listened, she's trying and she probably likes him. She's just awkward.

CurlewKate · 01/08/2025 17:32

Ffghdss · 01/08/2025 17:29

I meant to say the pronunciation she says is 80% correct.

I just have an issue with the laughter and giggling after.

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80% correct is still wrong!

Original poster
Ffghdss · 01/08/2025 17:29

CurlewKate · 01/08/2025 16:57

Of course there’s an issue! She gets it wrong and laughs every time. On what planet is that not rude?

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I meant to say the pronunciation she says is 80% correct.

I just have an issue with the laughter and giggling after.

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 01/08/2025 16:57

Ffghdss · 01/08/2025 16:42

There's no issue with the way she says DS's name. She's making an attempt and getting around 80% of the way there. DS tells me that every time she says it there's a small giggle/laugh. Every single time.

I think because of DS's crush he just feels happy that she's laughing with (or really at?) him.

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Of course there’s an issue! She gets it wrong and laughs every time. On what planet is that not rude?

Original poster
Ffghdss · 01/08/2025 16:42

CurlewKate · 01/08/2025 16:22

Do you really think it’s OK to continually mispronounce somebody’s name and laugh every single time you do it? I suggest you spend some time on the Baby Name threads!

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There's no issue with the way she says DS's name. She's making an attempt and getting around 80% of the way there. DS tells me that every time she says it there's a small giggle/laugh. Every single time.

I think because of DS's crush he just feels happy that she's laughing with (or really at?) him.

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 01/08/2025 16:22

Katherine9 · 01/08/2025 14:35

One of those posts in which the OP is trying so hard to find a reason to be offended that you end up doubting the situation is even as presented. Step back mommy bear, let them be. He probably only mentioned it because he was keen to mention her.

Do you really think it’s OK to continually mispronounce somebody’s name and laugh every single time you do it? I suggest you spend some time on the Baby Name threads!

Original poster
Ffghdss · 01/08/2025 15:25

DiscoBob · 01/08/2025 12:04

Would a sixth form student really be so ignorant and basic as to find foreign sounding names laugh out loud funny?! Every time they say it? Surely they must encounter hundreds of different names thoroghout their school career, online and through hobbies etc?

I think it's more likely that she's being self deprecating and laughing at herself. He doesn't seem to mind and it's his business really at this stage.

Fair enough

OP posts:
Katherine9 · 01/08/2025 14:35

One of those posts in which the OP is trying so hard to find a reason to be offended that you end up doubting the situation is even as presented. Step back mommy bear, let them be. He probably only mentioned it because he was keen to mention her.

DiscoBob · 01/08/2025 12:04

Would a sixth form student really be so ignorant and basic as to find foreign sounding names laugh out loud funny?! Every time they say it? Surely they must encounter hundreds of different names thoroghout their school career, online and through hobbies etc?

I think it's more likely that she's being self deprecating and laughing at herself. He doesn't seem to mind and it's his business really at this stage.

Original poster
Ffghdss · 01/08/2025 11:57

phoenixrosehere · 01/08/2025 10:41

YANBU

A one-off I can understand, but every time she says his name, rude regardless of intent.

I would be wondering what’s so funny and why.

This is what I think. It doesn't personally bother DS as he fancies her. But to me I don't want someone thinking Indian names are funny or silly. I'm the one who named DS and his name as a special meaning in our language and religion.

And no she's not going to be my future DIL! She turned DS down (and from what DS told me she was nice enough about it).

OP posts:
tripleginandtonic · 01/08/2025 11:15

He fancies her, she could end up as your dil. Unclench OP, I think she maybe likes him too if she's flirting with him over his name

bunnypenny · 01/08/2025 11:03

Spotthering · 31/07/2025 23:02

It’s not the same people every single day but it’s various people my entire life, including people doing it repeatedly.

I’m not going to share my name! But I’ll give an example. If my name is Emma Abbas, it would be things like using Abbas as my first name or making up a completely different but similar sounding foreign name, such as Ahmad and Hamad, and using that as my first name (all of which I should add are men’s names).

It has happened in countless environments - school, university, hospitals, workplaces. My first name is a common western name, which thousands of women have, yet I’m not white so it seems people struggle with it once they see it with a foreign surname, and then make up a name that is different to my first name.

So whilst posters like @BusyExpert think they sound cool by saying my post is patronising and sanctimonious by pointing out a micro aggression, all it does is show me how small minded people can be.

Edited
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this happens to me all the time and I have two very easy and recognisable British names (first and last). I am called a variation of either first and last names every day by people. Yesterday one person emailed me three times and called me three different variations of my name (didn’t get any right even though the signature of my email was right there) and already today I’ve had someone refer to me twice as my surname (they have subsequently apologised and third attempt got it right).

trust me when I say my names are not in any way unusual. I just think people just don’t pay attention when emailing.

CurlewKate · 01/08/2025 10:43

muddyford · 01/08/2025 10:37

I presumed she was laughing at herself and her efforts to say his name.

Why did you presume this? Particularly as she keeps doing it….

phoenixrosehere · 01/08/2025 10:41

YANBU

A one-off I can understand, but every time she says his name, rude regardless of intent.

I would be wondering what’s so funny and why.

muddyford · 01/08/2025 10:37

I presumed she was laughing at herself and her efforts to say his name.