Husband on the war path and alienating my friends

Hang on: you’re leaving him to do the childcare while WFH and you’re trying to tell him to allow behaviours that are damaging to your child, distract him from work, let a child swear at your child….because you’re concerned they might harm your own adult friendships?

Are you quite ok?

That's a very misleading and unfair thread title but speaks volumes.

You'd have a cheek to criticise or intervene when he's juggling everything and you're off on however many jolly's.

He's done exactly the right thing and your child will do well with him as a father. He seems to prioritise his child and their wellbeing unlike some parents who just take off and do their own thing during summer holidays.

Im not sure what he's done wrong. He flagged bad behaviour (once) to the other mum - that sounds fine to me. And why should he look after an extra kid, just because their family find it easier? Especially if he's trying to work!

Sorry but you don't get to go away and leave him to juggle work and kids and then tell him how to parent.

You do sound a little blasé about the behaviour of your friends DD.

I think your DH may be right in that you are putting your friendship above the behaviour of the child.

Just brushing it off as kids will be kids is lazy parenting tbh. Good that your DH is keeping a watchful eye. Think you need to take your head out of the sand.

Let’s start on the easy one… perfectly fine to send the neighbor kid home. I wouldn’t really be happy watching an extra kid either 99% of the time when they are playing.

While you are correct about friendships falling out then fine the next day, that doesn’t mean that you just turn oblivious to what’s going on. He was right to take action at the swearing.

Lastly… you aren’t there, you aren’t the adult in charge at the moment. He gets to deal with things in his own way. Leave him to it.

The other parents don't want your child playing on their house either. So there is nothing wrong with DH sending him home.

Your DH did the correct thing by showing the other mother their daughter is swearing at yours online.

I agree, WFH for the whole summer without any childcare is not ideal. My DD is 10, and this is the first year where we’ve done a few days of her being at home while one of us is WFH, but it’s only two days a week, max.

Regarding the friendship , I think YABU to tell your DH to ignore upsets. There’s quite a difference between a falling out and one 9 year old calling another 9 year old the F word! It sounds as though the friend can be quite unkind, and I wonder whether you are encouraging the friendship because you are friends with the mum. In your place, I would be trying to encourage other friendships to avoid this dynamic.

Regarding the child down the road, it doesn’t seem fair for you to always be hosting, and maybe you need to cut back on that. I’d use the WFH as an excuse here and say that DH can’t host other children while WFH as the noise is too distracting. I know that I’d struggle to focus on WFH if DD had a friend round, because they’d be noisier than just DD by herself.

Firstly that is a ridiculous ott thread title.
And secondly he has done nothing wrong
Thirdly didn't your family want to see your daughter?

I don't see that he's done anything wrong. Your DD's "friend" sounds like an undisciplined brat and he was right to tell her mother what she's been up to so it can be dealt with. He's also not unreasonable to not want the neighbours child in the house making a racket while he's working.

How is he supposed to do both?

Doing the childcare for a 9 year old and working is going to be awful for both of them . Can she go to a holiday club?