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To think you don’t catch a butterfly and take it round M&S

418 replies

FanofLeaves · 31/07/2025 12:32

Was just picking up a few bits in M&S and there was a girl about 8 years old or so swinging one of those butterfly net thingies off her arm. On closer inspection I saw she had one in there (not the ones you send away for, although that would be bad enough, one that had obviously been procured organically)

Her mum was busy looking at something so I said to the girl ‘oh! What a pretty butterfly. That’s a large white. I except you’re going to let it go after you’ve finished your shopping, aren’t you?’

The mum came over beaming presumably ready to hear a comment about what a fun summer holiday activity this all is, and said ‘no, we’ll take it home, keep it for a few days and observe it. It flew straight into the net so we had this ready to pop it straight into!’

‘I said ‘well I’m sure it would have been preferred to be observed in nature, where it was, not caught in a net and taken round the shops. Don’t you think it’s a bit cruel?’

Anyway she was visibly annoyed, and said ‘it’s fine. My children are learning about nature! We know what it eats!’

Anyway she steered her child away from me and said some people are just very joyless and bitter.

Yeah I know I probably sound like a busy body but I can’t bear it when parents tell their kids it’s ok to just take stuff out of nature for their own amusement. Why is it ok to do this? It’s so Victorian, to capture a creature to just look at it, no thought for the poor thing at all. Don’t get me started on why they still sell butterfly nets 😭

OP posts:
Bumblebee72 · 31/07/2025 20:37

spoonbillstretford · 31/07/2025 20:33

Educate yourself.

What on earth are you talking about? This is a batshit thread about someone getting concerned about a butterfly in M&S. The same store probably has a wasp trap out the back killing many more pollinators.

TheGrimSmile · 31/07/2025 20:35

Yanbu

spoonbillstretford · 31/07/2025 20:33

Bumblebee72 · 31/07/2025 16:08

Do pigeons have any other purpose?

Educate yourself.

FanofLeaves · 31/07/2025 19:16

3bluellamas · 31/07/2025 18:53

Well that depends on where they are being picked from. In the countryside they are very likely to be native daffodils. In a London park probably not.

It doesn’t matter really. No one should be picking them, or any flowers that aren’t growing in their own gardens. Sorry, just realised I meant to quote the other poster on that, who said they aren’t likely to be wild flowers.

OP posts:
FanofLeaves · 31/07/2025 19:15

WhyDoiGiveValuableTime · 31/07/2025 18:55

Excellent point.

How so?

OP posts:
WhyDoiGiveValuableTime · 31/07/2025 18:55

gotellsomeone · 31/07/2025 12:33

Are you vegan?

Excellent point.

JackGrealishsBobbySocks · 31/07/2025 18:55

I loathe such casual cruelty to any living thing... but to pollinators, aargh, the mum was a moron.

3bluellamas · 31/07/2025 18:53

2dogsandabudgie · 31/07/2025 18:48

Daffodils aren't wild flowers though, although agree that people shouldn't be picking them.

Well that depends on where they are being picked from. In the countryside they are very likely to be native daffodils. In a London park probably not.

2dogsandabudgie · 31/07/2025 18:48

FanofLeaves · 31/07/2025 16:55

Well I see people picking daffodils by the bunch when it’s the right time of year, and it makes me so angry. They cost bloody £1 in the supermarket.

Edited

Daffodils aren't wild flowers though, although agree that people shouldn't be picking them.

Ebenezerscrogge · 31/07/2025 18:08

another vegetarian - I remember pond dipping with the kids when they were tiny - everything got put back carefully , I remember having one of those sets where you hatch a butterfly - did it once and released them - didn’t seem right so not again . Definitely odd to think you can keep a butterfly to study - arrogant really . Not surprised you got the reply you did but think of it this way - by saying something then and here you may just have made others think about things a bit more . We are all flawed and all still capable of learning

FanofLeaves · 31/07/2025 18:06

NeverDropYourMooncup · 31/07/2025 18:00

Seed distribution, shitting over things (see the seed distribution clause) and providing a vital food source for gulls, Peregrine Falcons, Sparrowhawks and Kestrels.

Also ranked as one of the most intelligent birds. Not that it would be ok to terrorise them if they weren’t, but lots of people really think they just don’t matter.

OP posts:
redriding1976 · 31/07/2025 18:06

Soontobe60 · 31/07/2025 16:14

I do hope that those who are despairing at the thought of a butterfly in a net would be prepared to approach and challenge the owner of every dog they see on a lead about the cruelty of their actions.

Dogs are domesticated creatures 🙄

NeverDropYourMooncup · 31/07/2025 18:00

Bumblebee72 · 31/07/2025 16:08

Do pigeons have any other purpose?

Seed distribution, shitting over things (see the seed distribution clause) and providing a vital food source for gulls, Peregrine Falcons, Sparrowhawks and Kestrels.

Silverpaws · 31/07/2025 17:26

Britneyfan · 31/07/2025 12:59

Honestly I’m clearly a dissenting voice here but I feel like this was very confrontational and downright rude actually. It’s not something I’ve ever given a lot of thought to but as they do this in schools etc it hadn’t really occurred to me that it’s a problem to keep a butterfly for a few days.

I can see why you feel the way you do now I’ve thought about it more, but perhaps if you feel this strongly it would be better to raise public awareness generally online etc about why this is a bad idea, rather than confront an individual mother and child about it. They were happy and having fun and engaging in learning about nature rather than mindlessly watching TV or playing computer games etc. That child may now just remember some random woman being horrible to her and upsetting her mum (how dare she think a stranger was randomly accosting them to say something nice instead of critical for a change), for wanting to learn about butterflies, and switch off from any interest in nature in the future.

I would see it as exactly the same as someone coming over to randomly confront you about why you’re eating a sausage roll in a supermarket cafe, accusing you of cruelty to animals. If you wouldn’t want to be in that situation or would think that random person is unreasonable, then maybe you can reflect on how this situation came across from the other side.

Yes, pretty hypocritical to accuse the vegan of being hypocritical when the OP was so sanctimonious....
The RSPCA question is also interesting as they don't seem to give a flying f about animals being used for food.
I have spent today feeling outraged about horses pulling tourist carriages in 30 degrees. But not a great deal I could do about it. Maybe the OP will have planted a seed in that child's head about having more respect for our fellow creatures.
Insects, cows, pigs, dogs, cats: none of them deserve what they get from humans.
(Except slugs of course 😊)

SapphireSeptember · 31/07/2025 17:21

Soontobe60 · 31/07/2025 16:14

I do hope that those who are despairing at the thought of a butterfly in a net would be prepared to approach and challenge the owner of every dog they see on a lead about the cruelty of their actions.

Is it cruel to put dogs on leads now? And the alternative is them chasing and possibly killing other animals, small children, adults, or getting hit by cars or kicked by horses.

Screamingabdabz · 31/07/2025 16:57

I applaud you op. I don’t really give many shits about being in nature myself but the mindless avoidable destruction of it does my head in. Add smug and entitled parenting as the cherry on top and I’m so glad people like you are willing to say something. You were actually very restrained and polite.

Spookyspaghetti · 31/07/2025 16:56

FanofLeaves · 31/07/2025 14:00

I was in M&S so I said M&S. if it was Asda I’d have said it was that 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’d have said the same thing if it was any insect in there to be honest, not just because butterflies are pretty.

And where does it end really if you can’t make any kind of stand against the destruction of nature or wildlife if you still consume animal products? Like another poster said, should all employees of animal welfare charities resign unless vegan? Should I go outside and kick down my bug hotel, screw those guys, I’m not vegan so who cares right? I’ll stop my donations to the horse rescue charity while I’m at it, because I ate scrambled eggs for breakfast. It’s absolutely ludicrous to say you only earn the privilege of caring for living creatures if you have nothing to do with the consumption of them, because you’re left with a teeny tiny minority of people who will do fuck all except feel superior to non-vegans for their life choices. Now I know that’s not all vegans but certainly those types always seem to pop up on here.

Edited

Dramatic much?!

There is no need to do any of those things as it is ok to acknowledge that as humans we are all flawed and hold hypocritical and contradictory views. I say this as an ethical vegetarian, I know full well it is hypocritical to eat dairy but not meat and fish. That’s my choice that I acknowledge that I’m flawed in that respect.

Btw, when your 3 year old turns 8 you will look back with a little embarrassment that you went to confront the child first (weaker target) instead of only dealing directly with the parent/adult. It’s possible to be right but go about things the wrong way.

FanofLeaves · 31/07/2025 16:55

2dogsandabudgie · 31/07/2025 16:53

That's another thing we used to do go and pick bluebells, I think it's illegal to pick wild flowers now isn't it?

Well I see people picking daffodils by the bunch when it’s the right time of year, and it makes me so angry. They cost bloody £1 in the supermarket.

OP posts:
2dogsandabudgie · 31/07/2025 16:53

FanofLeaves · 31/07/2025 16:29

I don’t drive actually, (I know that’s another Mumsnet no no) I walked into town. Sometimes I bike or get the bus. Or the tram, but they’re re-doing the track at my local stop.

’one kid’ - not always though is it. It’s like those people that just pick ‘a few’ wild flowers, well, if we all did it, there wouldn’t be any left. (No I’m not talking about bloody dandelions)

Edited

That's another thing we used to do go and pick bluebells, I think it's illegal to pick wild flowers now isn't it?

2dogsandabudgie · 31/07/2025 16:50

When we were kids we used to catch butterflies and keep them in a jam jar, put some leaves in there for them and keep them as "pets". We also used to go fishing with nets and catch "tiddlers".

Back then there used to be a lot more butterflies than there are now.

PiggieWig · 31/07/2025 16:44

Anyway she was visibly annoyed, and said ‘it’s fine. My children are learning about nature! We know what it eats!’

What does it eat? Percy Pigs?

Bumblebee72 · 31/07/2025 16:43

Hoppinggreen · 31/07/2025 16:34

I eat mine when they are still alive
It pisses me right off, I do a LOT for both wildlife and pet rescues and can guarantee that I give more of my time to help animals than most Vegans but because I think almond milk is awful and sometimes have a bacon sarnie I might as well not bother.

Let's face it the best way for a species not to be endangered is to be tasty.

Hoppinggreen · 31/07/2025 16:34

Bumblebee72 · 31/07/2025 16:27

Now that's just being ridiculous of course we use one of those humane bolt guns - the puppies barely know what is happening.

I eat mine when they are still alive
It pisses me right off, I do a LOT for both wildlife and pet rescues and can guarantee that I give more of my time to help animals than most Vegans but because I think almond milk is awful and sometimes have a bacon sarnie I might as well not bother.

FanofLeaves · 31/07/2025 16:29

ChelseaBagger · 31/07/2025 16:28

You'll have killed all manner of flying insects on your drive to m&s in the first place (have a look at your number plate if you don't believe me!) You can't get emotional every time an insect gets injured/killed/eaten/captured - it's madness.

Butterfly population decline is due to loss of habitat, and overuse of chemical pesticides, not due to a kid catching one butterfly in a net.

I don’t drive actually, (I know that’s another Mumsnet no no) I walked into town. Sometimes I bike or get the bus. Or the tram, but they’re re-doing the track at my local stop.

’one kid’ - not always though is it. It’s like those people that just pick ‘a few’ wild flowers, well, if we all did it, there wouldn’t be any left. (No I’m not talking about bloody dandelions)

OP posts:
ChelseaBagger · 31/07/2025 16:28

You'll have killed all manner of flying insects on your drive to m&s in the first place (have a look at your number plate if you don't believe me!) You can't get emotional every time an insect gets injured/killed/eaten/captured - it's madness.

Butterfly population decline is due to loss of habitat, and overuse of chemical pesticides, not due to a kid catching one butterfly in a net.

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