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Original poster

They contacted my partner after I didn’t respond for 12 hours

162 replies

Littleluv · 31/07/2025 11:04

I have a 7 week old baby this person also has a 12 week old baby. We hung out for a walk on the Sunday and the next Friday she texts me in the morning about doing something the next week due to my baby being fussy and being busy with family plans I did not respond and my partner received a text from them at 9pm (12 hours later) asking if I’d changed my number, if I was “coping” and if I was struggling with the “adjustment to motherhood” due to my non-reply… I was pretty shocked she took to messaging him at all let alone when only 12 hours had passed and also as a new mother I don’t take it personally if there is any delay from others because I know babies are a handful and time often passes or you don’t get a chance to respond. Also I am actually coping really well I am just not glued to my phone all the time as I like to spend time doing things with my little one. I really don’t think I want to be friends with this person anymore as I find this extremely overbearing, in addition their partner says bad things about literally everyone. Thoughts on this and how you would feel?

OP posts:
noidea69 · 31/07/2025 11:30

oh come on, how has someone not suggested husband & friend are having an affair yet, this place isnt what it used to be.

Lotsofsnacks · 31/07/2025 11:24

ignore, I’m feeling suffocated myself reading this! I think this friend will be massively overbearing if you continue this. Phase out

Blanca87 · 31/07/2025 11:24

This is hand that rocks the cradle, territory

Delphiniumandlupins · 31/07/2025 11:23

She has been a bit OTT. I would message her and say that you often don't reply the same day (if that's true) and assume she was coming from a caring place. I would probably also cool the friendship if she seems too intense in future.

CurlewKate · 31/07/2025 11:22

Is it possible that you put out some worrying vibes? I agree she was over the top, and she should have tried you again first , but I can imagine circumstances where I would send a quick “Is Jane OK?” message to a friend’s partner if I was worried…

NewNewForest · 31/07/2025 11:14

OMG keep an eye on your bunny 🥴

Original poster
Littleluv · 31/07/2025 11:13

No nothing just straight messaged him. She has his number from a long time ago through mutual friends they have exchanged a couple texts before this point but nothing significant.

OP posts:
Original poster
Littleluv · 31/07/2025 11:12

I’ve known them a long time but only really started being friends in the later stages of pregnancy. We have hung out maybe 7 times total over the space of 2 years.

OP posts:
Newname42 · 31/07/2025 11:10

For how long have you been friends? If it’s a newish contact I’d just end the friendship, if it’s an old friend I’d assume that she tried to look after you as a new mum and got it wrong.

Newnamesameme · 31/07/2025 11:09

I would really feel intruded on and step back from the friendship. Did she even send you a follow up message or call you before going to your partner with her concerns. This is a fairly new friendship and this is far too overbearing.

JMSA · 31/07/2025 11:07

It’s overbearing and a bit weird, but not to be taken personally. It’s no reflection on you as a mother that she got a bit worried.
Me personally, I wouldn’t end the friendship. But I’d explain how you feel and ask her not to do it again.

JDM625 · 31/07/2025 11:06

How long have you known them? Why do they even have your partners number? If you don't want to me friends, well you don't have to.

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