They contacted my partner after I didn’t respond for 12 hours

I can't find where the OP has said this. Was it perhaps on a previous thread?

This.

If she was that concerned she could have phoned you. A simple 'is X ok? Was expecting a reply' would be enough if she really felt a follow up was necessary. She is not your friend. Distance yourself from her.

Maybe it’s the exact opposite of what you’re thinking. Could she be struggling. She reached out and when you didn’t respond quickly, she’s projecting some of her own issues?

Maybe she was quietly desperate for someone, particularly an adult, to chat with/message with that day. In particular, another new mum who might nod and smile and understand how the little things can really get you down some day, despite how much you love your baby.

She’s a shit stirrer trying to make you look bad in your partners eyes.

Block and drop her.

She sounds overbearing and paranoid. Even if you didn't reply to her for a week, it wouldn't be grounds for her texting your husband out of extreme concern, especially as her concerns sound unfounded.

This says a lot more about her mental state than yours.

I'd have half a mind to text HER husband and say you are concerned about HER after she sent this crazy message to your husband when you didn't reply to her text after 12 hours!

She doesn’t sound like a close friend. Do you still have mutual friends? If so I’d see her at mutual meet ups but not meet up alone anymore as I honestly would feel weird around her and paranoid now.

My husband wouldn’t have replied and ignored that text. Did yours reply? Mine would have found it batshit.

Id do the slow ghost and fade, id reply to messages but be suddenly super busy. Anyone suggesting that I am not coping and messaging my husband is a boundary crosser and not someone I’d want in my life.

And presuming she’s not like this generally (waiting for the drip), then I’d be inclined to think she was genuinely very concerned
Then why wait 12hrs?

Maybe she was doing what a lot of us would do and convince ourselves everything is ok and 'we'll just give it a bit longer'

I dont see anything wrong. She may be worried about pnd or suicide etc and wanted to ensure you was ok. Good friend.
Why on earth would she be worried about suicide just because the OP didn't reply immediately?

The person gave a number of suggestions thay could have sparked concern. Maybe the op said something that was benign in conversation but the friend has had a negative expierence and jumped to PND or worse. Who knows , but when doing something like Assist training you pick up on changes if behaviour, change of tone, phrases people use etc.

I can see it being an over the top reaction but at the same time if mate isnt normally a drama lama ( which is different to being over bearing) I'd be quite touched that someone was concerned about me. If it became a habit that's different of course.

To me, it sounds like you want an excuse to get rid of her. If so be honest and stop looking for reasons.

Blimey she's batshit crazy!

As PP pointed out the "normal" reaction would be for her to ask you if you're ok NOT go running to your partner!!

Sounds like a drama llama and to be avoided! I hope your DP ignored her text.

I'd fade this friendship out.

And presuming she’s not like this generally (waiting for the drip), then I’d be inclined to think she was genuinely very concerned

Then why wait 12hrs?

If she's worried there are surely better ways of going about it?

Honestly when my first was that age I was still sleeping when I could!

The OP is not going to be able to objectively answer that question.

Fact is, this person appears to have been very concerned.

And presuming she’s not like this generally (waiting for the drip), then I’d be inclined to think she was genuinely very concerned

A normal person would just send a follow up message to OP, if they were really concerned about her. It's OTT and intrusive to go straight to her partner after just one message wasn't responded to.

Why on earth would she be worried about suicide just because the OP didn't reply immediately?

One of the depressing things about Mumsnet is the fetishization of insularity. How very dare anyone be worried about someone else, to reach out, to care. The worship of “my little family”. She was a little over concerned. But better than leaving a friend flailing because “it’s none of my business”

*I’d get your partner to reply ‘yeah she’s doing really well, she often tosses her phone to one side because she’s such a good mother focussing on our child instead of outside interference, so I’m sure she’ll get back to you at some point if she wants to’.(
That's just unnecessarily mean. She's a bit over the top and full on and I'd feel uncomfortable with it but maybe she's struggling herself and feels desperate. Do we have absolutely no grace any more
Absolutely
Theres a lot of shitty suggested replies on MN. I know some a meant to be light hearted but they don't come across well.

You presumably are quite close to her if she has your partner’s number?

Why cant she just be concerned about you as a new mum?

Why does everything have to always be so sinister on mumsnet.

It's not cool really. But I also think she isn't coping. It's quite a frantic way to behave. The kind thing to do would be to message and ask if she is ok as her behavious was quite erratic and OTT. Absolutely fine to just cool the friendship though. And absolutely understandable.

This also my thoughts.
she sounds a bit mad!!! Is it some sort of cry for help? Is she struggling?? Sounds a bit much so I can’t think why else she would be this overreaching..

Sounds like you have already made up your mind to ditch her anyway.
You say you have known her for awhile, has she always been this intense? If not, maybe she is the one struggling.

That's just unnecessarily mean. She's a bit over the top and full on and I'd feel uncomfortable with it but maybe she's struggling herself and feels desperate. Do we have absolutely no grace any more.

I suggest this is a reflection on how SHE is feeling. She is projecting herself onto your situation.

@Littleluv I'm a little on the fence with this OP although I've voted YANBU.
You say her partner "says bad things about literally everyone" - maybe he's been winding her up about you not coping (untrue) and she got unnecessarily worried and messaged your partner as a bit of knee-jerk reaction? (Although I don't see why she couldn't just send you a follow-up message if she was concerned.) You say you've only socialised about seven times in two years with her, so it's clear that you've not been close previously and it's motherhood that has brought you closer in recent months, so I would ask yourself this: do you like her? Could you see the friendship growing stronger and more meaningful if she hadn't done this? If so, I would just mark her card with a message along the lines of "I was busy with baby and your message didn't require an urgent response. I am not someone who is glued to their phone 24/7 as I have more important things to do. To put your mind at rest, I'm coping very well and really enjoying motherhood. However, I don't appreciate you messaging my DH in the way you did and if you want our friendship to continue you should never do this again." Her response will dictate whether or not the friendship continues.

Did your partner reply to her?
Or did he put her on hold as well?
You might be getting a police welfare check next!!
I think people have forgotten that we have phones for OUR convenience not as a command system.
She needs to know you will get to her... when you have dealt with all the things further up your priority list.