They contacted my partner after I didn’t respond for 12 hours

Sounds like she loves a bit of drama

Would drop this friendship like a hot potato. Why on earth did she not send you a second follow up message before messaging your partner. Intrusive and intense. Not for me.

ouf no that’s not on. Not at all. Is your partner meant to ‘have a word with you’ because you dared to not reply to her within half a day? I don’t like the sound of that. I don’t buy the faux concern shit. Concern and thinking you’re not coping with motherhood is not a proportionate response to not receiving a reply straight away. She’s ‘telling on’ you, not worrying about you.

I’m not a parent. I notice a lot of people suggesting that this may reflect that that person has PND.

OP may be best cutting contact but if any of you have had PND or anxiety what type of thing might have helped or just not appropriate from an acquaintance?

Have messaged her back at all? I would be telling her you're surprised she has messaged your partner to check you're ok. Very strange behaviour.

This. Projection is the first theory if something is attributed to you that seems really weird and out of place.

This is a good suggestion. Let her know her behaviour is very odd and disproportionate

Yes I agree with this! The messaging husband I could just about cope with if it was 'has x's battery ran out could you pass a message on' type thing but going straight for insinuating that you aren't coping is really odd and overbearing!! Really odd. I'd be quite cross

When my Beloved Babies were small, I was exactly the same
Time just flew by & I adored every single moment - So yes, completely comprehend how everything else takes a back seat
God knows, our Beloved Babies grow up so quickly, & continue to cherish every moment
God Bless You&Yours
She shouldn't have crossed the line messaging your partner & it's oftentimes known, that folk judge others on the level they themselves, are feeling
She's most likely somewhat struggling
Hence why she might jump to this presumption
You're doing a phenomenal job
Don't permit others insecurities, to put dampness on your enthusiasm & positive attitude 💚🤗🌼💚

She’s just concerned/cares about you. I’m sure she does not want to suffocate you.
We have become a society where we need to give each other ‘space’ and privacy to feel happier. We have lost the human touch and the friendliness and closeness that societies in the past had.

Wow, they are being way over the top. Messaging your dh AND questioning if you’d changed your number.
Honestly I think I’d reduce contact.

As for their partner talking badly about everyone, you do know that will include you guys too?

A family member did this, it didn’t take long to find out they did the same with us. How sad a persons life must be if all they do is talk badly about everyone they know.

A simple ‘Next please!’ I agree this is overbearing and inappropriate. It would be different if this person was a very close friend you hadn't responded to for a week, but this isn't the case. I do wonder how she has your partner’s number as well? That seems odd!

You don't have to be friends, but I reckon it's quite possible she's blowing things out of proportion with baby brain and hormones etc. Maybe she isn't coping.

I might just say "if I don't answer my phone, please don't worry, I'm just doing other stuff."

This is a classic case of someone spiralling and then projecting. Perhaps she is really struggling and has PND but her behaviour would be a massive red flag for me in terms of overstepping boundaries, downright impropriety and intrusiveness. It’s not nice and it’s not cool. And texting your husband is absolutely wild. I’d be phasing her out as I wouldn’t be able to bear this type of thing and her husband sounds like a twat.

Congratulations on your baba! Colic is so hard and stressful but I promise it will pass xx

All very OTT & in no way normal.

Is she a bit of a drama llama generally? You now the type - never happy unless there's something going down?

Unless you were making plans where she needed to know immediately if you were free so she could book tickets or something, it’s very overbearing and I’d probably not see her again. I’m also a pretty chilled person and don’t like people checking up or expecting things from me, so if I get an anxious clingy vibe from someone it puts me off them. I’m sure they’re nice but they can make other friends who appreciate that rather than me. I guess perhaps because you hung out alone and made potential plans she might think you want to take things to the next “level” of friendship. But it sounds like you two are not on the same page about what that would be

It's a bit much. I have a friend who will bombard with "Are you ok"? messages if not responded to within 45 minutes. Err, yes, I'm OK. Just not glued to my phone.

Weird pushy inappropriate behaviour that would make me step back completely.
I wouldn't want to spend time with someone like that.
Red flag for me anyway.
When you have children, no drama friendships are a non negotiateable.

It very bizarre.

Does she think she has a deeper/closer relationship with you & your partner than what you think the relationship is?

I wondered this.

However I can see why you are annoyed.

We had family that wasn't really in touch frequently but durring first pg towards end till early childhood would get really upset with us we didn't instantly reply to phone or texts - often being a bit PA as here. We never been more busy as not just young children but job changes and huge house moves - it was an unnecessary and irriating addtional mental burden and frankly irritated us - as even if we were struggling there was no actual help from them on offer and felt more about them and their needs that we were expected to accomodate and not us.

I'd probably be busy for a bit but not burn bridges - she may be less when her child older or she's busier.

Sheesh @cigarsmokingwomantry to chill out dude!

This. And stop overthinking/ taking umbrage.

Lol, I was waiting for it.
I think that unless you have being complaining a lot about not coping etc she was way over the top. Very intruding.