To ask when it gets easier to get out the house on a morning?

Just go out. Baby will adapt to you.

Nap in pushchair etc. feed on the go.

a couple of things stand out though - what’s your partner doing in the morning and can’t he help baby while you get dressed?
nkt sure what ‘appropriate gap’ between milk and breakfast is.
why can’t you eat at the same time as the baby?

I feel a bit miserable if I feel I’m on a countdown to bedtime from 3ish so would hate for the day to basically turn into tea prep then bedtime at 1pm?!?!

This. Primary age children are messy, stubborn, and forgetful (no child before 9am on a busy Monday morning will be able to find their shoes!)!

My babies have just fitted in with my routine. They are the easiest they ever will be at baby age!

Don't be so hard on yourself - enjoy this special time together- don't worry about getting ready - this precious time is so short - believe me it will be gone in the blink of an eye - I would give anything to be able to go back and do it all again!

You do you. With my first I mostly planned the day around naps etc, yes it does get tricker when your having to get them to nursery etc but your not in that position yet so do what works for you.
i have a 5 and 6 year old and yes it is much much easier to get out the door, although there are different challenges. Your comment about them cleaning up their crumbs made me smile though 🤣🤣🤣 I’m sure when you read that back in a few years it will make you smile too 🤣

Haha yeah I never got any of my 3 out of the house before the afternoon unless there was something important like a doctors appointment. Too exhausting trying to do that every day!
And loads of baby groups are at 9am.. not a chance mate!!
But I'm lucky in that mine were all good sleepers. They'd wake up for milk about 7 but then would have a couple of hours nap after that.
No way would I be interfering with that trying to cart them out of the house. I'd either have a nap myself or get some housework done.
After that would move into lunchtime.
Then after lunch it would be going out.
This would be the case until each baby started nursery at age 3 to be honest!

I think it's different for some people whose kids don't sleep much and they'd be sat there from 5am waiting for the day to start.

That sounds totally reasonable to me but sadly not to my child!! As a toddler / primary schooler she would refuse point blank to put her shoes on or to go to the loo. She’d insist on dressing herself and then take ages or end up in shorts in January. We once didn’t leave the house all day as she refused to put any clothes on at all. She could get into far more mischief when my back was turned too!

I think each kid is different. I can easily get me and my 3 year old up, ready, fed and out in about an hour most days. She happily plays while I sort myself and is pretty obliging on most days. As a baby I found it impossible to sort us both out to get out of the house quickly! I was always pre to baby group. It does get easier

When they move out you get a few years' respite. Then before you know it, you have elderly parents and you're back to square one, wondering how it can possibly take them so long to get out the house. Suppressing the urge to scream HOW CAN IT TAKE EIGHT AND A HALF MINUTES TO PUT ON A COAT AND A PAIR OF SHOES AND GET IN A CAR????

All you can do is enjoy the bit in the middle.

When I was a teenager, I remember my mom saying "I was happiest when I could hold your hand". I now have 27, 24 and 21 yo and I totally get it. 🤣🤣

Your day sounds fine! Mine are older (7, 4, 4) and on our days off in the school hols we only do one scheduled activity per day. They need time to play and relax at home, I need time to clean/laundry and prep meals. But if we don’t go out once a day they start climbing the walls and trashing the place.

Some have made the point about getting up and out in the morning to do nursery drop offs and go to work, but in many ways it’s easier being at work and the house doesn’t get as messy.

It does get easier (although dealing with toileting just before the school run is stressful). I think parents of older children forget how full-on babies are.

You could try to get ready while they have their first nap, do dishwasher and chores, while they sleep, then when they wake up straight out the door?

It is difficult and one trip or activity a day is plenty! Some people find it easier to be out all day, others to stay in all day. Don't put pressure on yourself, do what works best for you.

Sounds like you're doing really well to me!

Ignore the people who say 'oh just you wait until ...', really not helpful at all.

It does get easier. IF you do have another child in the future it still gets easier. Might be hard work at times, but you don't have to worry about a poo just before you leave the house, or having to pack milk and specific snacks!

Eldest does likely have ADHD but mornings are like this (made up names), but it's not even an exaggeration 😭

Mission put pants on
Me: Anna, please can you put pants on
Anna: continues to read
Me: Anna, did you hear me, please put some pants on.
Anna: says ok, leaves room. Wanders back in 5 minutes later, no pants
Me: Anna,.where are your pants
Anna: what pants
Me; the ones I asked you to put on
Anna: oh yeah I forgot. Wanders back out. I hear giggling, she's playing with her sister
Me: Anna, pants please
Anna: but I'm playing
Me: seriously, please put pants on
Anna: ok. Comes.back wearing little sisters pants
Anna: these aren't fitting me
Me; are they yours - goes to look. B
No, they're Beth's. Can you change them please.
Anna: ok.
Me (a few minutes later), see, that Anna is sat on her bed reading. Pants Anna.
Anna: ok

Mission success.

Now mission, rest of clothes, breakfast, washing, hair brushing, teeth brushing, shoes, actually leaving the house...

It sounds like your routine is working well for you, so I can’t see any reason to change it!

Although it obviously is possible to get out early with a baby, if you want to. I have to take my 3 month old and 2yo on the pre-school run with the 4yo every morning and afternoon, and they manage to be dressed and fed. I just need to be relatively on top of when baby needs feeding and needs to sleep, but otherwise we have to get up and out. I do laundry as we leave and enter the house via the utility room.

My hair, however, is never looking that great, as that’s the bit I’ve currently sacrificed to fit everything into a set window of time! 😂

This brings back the horror of trying solo to get a baby, a toddler and a school aged child out of the house by 7.15am. Absolutely hideous days.

With one baby it honestly isn’t too difficult although it might not feel like it now. You do what works best for you, if that’s one outing and home for nap, do that.

My routine with one was always:

• showered, dressed and downstairs by 10am. Without fail. This was so important for my mental health.
• in the morning the baby either napped whilst I did what I needed to or they sat in their bouncer and watched me shower.
• grizzling was ignored
• naps were in their cot or basket once there were over a few weeks old
• one outing a day, usually mid to late morning
• usually home for naps but sometimes in the buggy if a longer trip
• baby would sit in bouncer or playing on the floor or whatever whilst i did chores (or in the sling when they were small)
• I would always have a rest when they had their afternoon nap. Chores can wait, my tiredness could not.

Second and third baby: everyone was ready and out of the house much earlier, baby just had to come along with us all, multiple outings a day, naps wherever. I did still try to have a rest/nap whilst the baby and toddler napped 😄

If you know what time the baby will wake for the morning then try to get up 10-15 mins earlier, jump in the shower and get yourself ready for the day, however early this might be it means you're not trying to shower while entertaining baby. Other than that do whatever suits you both and don't listen too much to others.

😬😬😬😬😬

I bloody wish

Won’t they sit and play with toys while you get ready. optimistically, yeah (and cause mess at the same time), but often it's more like herding cars.

and then put their own shoes and jacket on and get themselves in their car seat?

Theoretically, sure. But you've not factored in them arguing about every single aspect. Then one taking the hair brush the other one wanted, and yelling a their sibling. Then you've got one sobbing upstairs, refusing to leave the house (this was yesterday).

Or a toddler saying 'i do it myself' and getting upset if you try to help, except they've been doing it for 20 minutes and you're now late.

I’d think they could also wipe crumbs off the table after breakfast and not splash porridge up the walls (hopefully!)

They are less messy than they were (both primary age), but the difference is now that a lot of it is deliberate, which makes it incredibly annoying. There is still food on the floor, still wrappers not in the bin.

Oh, and before you think it's just lazy parenting and we don't try, we've tried reward charts, jars, being nice about it, being grumpy about it, you name it.

Reading between the lines, it appears that you are asking:”Am I doing enough?”.
The question is - are you satisfied with your life right now? There isn’t a moral superiority about flinging yourself out of the house as soon as possible (to go where?), being productive or industrious or sociable only matters if it makes you happy. I suspect that this comment from the grandparents has cut deeper than you thought and, as a first time mum, you question every choice you make, which is not unusual.
From my point of view, as a mum of late teens, I would give absolutely anything to have my babies nap on me one more time. This is entirely irrelevant, of course, so I go back to my question - is there more or less that you wish you had in your life? Once you know, the fix is easy, there are many practical solutions in the posts above.

OP you're making choices that ensure you dont get out of the house until a certain time. Just plan better and change when you do things. Do you have a partner who can do things in the morning?

Also babies are easier by a mile than toddlers or children sorry to tell you. I have a few friends with their first baby who are married to a strict routine and honestly it sounds a bit miserable, I'm very much of the opinion baby fits into your lifestyle.

I would be concerned you say your baby usually sleeps on you and won’t nap in a pushchair. You won’t last 5 minutes unless you can break those habits.

You need to start going out when they haven’t napped. They’ll eventually get tired and fall asleep.

I didn't plan around any naps at home, mine just had to sleep wherever they were, which was often in the pram or car. I suppose it took quite a while from getting up to leaving the house, but I was probably ready by mid morning. I could be earlier if I had to!

That wouldn’t have suited me when mine was a baby but there’s no right or wrong way to do these things. All parents and children are different, do what works for you and sod the rest of them.

I think if you don't have to get out early, why put the pressure on? There will be plenty of years of work, nursery, school to come so enjoy slow mornings while you can!

I would second persevering with the buggy nap (or sling) as it does give you more flexibility. I had my baby during lockdown so it felt quite important to have a good routine. I roughly followed eat, 'play', sleep so would generally get ready when we got up and then head out after the morning nap (all we could really do was walk but I also agree with one thing per day being optimal) and she'd have the next nap in the buggy. Then I'd aim to get home for the last nap which tbh was quite often a contact nap because it was nice for us both to rest for a bit. Then I used Playmat, sling or bouncer to get jobs done in the evening but partner also did half the cooking and cleaning etc. so an hour a day was more than enough.

When she was down to 2 naps it was similar - go out after morning nap and with 1 nap we could go out whenever.

With my first I was very stuck to routine. Baby number 2 had slightly more relaxed routine and baby number 3 had to fit in.

My dc are now 10, 14 and 16. It's starting to get much easier but you've a long way to go!