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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

MIL stole my thunder

109 replies

vivazeboo · 30/07/2025 22:27

Ok so this was a very long time ago, so I'm in no way asking for judgment or what to do..I'd just like to hear your thoughts on it. So I'm not a high achiever, never really done anything to make my parents proud. The one thing that I was so excited about was to give them grandchildren (sad..maybe). So, when I got pregnant I was so excited to tell my mum...and that was all fine and she was so happy etc...scroll on 9 months and I had just given birth to my son, 12 hr labour, lost nearly 4 pts of blood but ecstatic that he was born and alive and fine..my next thought was that I couldnt wait to tell my mum and dad...I phoned them - only to be told they already knew because MIL had phoned the unit and found out first... while writing this I'm thinking that I was maybe being unreasonable in being so fucking annoyed about it... but it was MY THING to do....and she took it from me...I've never been able to let it go..that baby is 23 now ha!

OP posts:
IMissSparkling · 30/07/2025 22:39

RoadAtlas · 30/07/2025 22:34

YANBU that's appalling and exactly the sort of thing my MIL would do (which is why we didn't tell her when we went into hospital for the birth both times). I'd advise you to not tell her when you go into hospital if you have another child so she doesn't know if it's time to ring them up and ask.

Tell me you didn't read to the end of the OP without telling me... It's been 23 years, I'm pretty sure if the OP's had another child since the MIL knows about it by now!

soiledblogg · 30/07/2025 22:37

Put her on an information diet . Only tell her need to know information.

RoadAtlas · 30/07/2025 22:34

YANBU that's appalling and exactly the sort of thing my MIL would do (which is why we didn't tell her when we went into hospital for the birth both times). I'd advise you to not tell her when you go into hospital if you have another child so she doesn't know if it's time to ring them up and ask.

Foreverm0re · 30/07/2025 22:33

Not sure why people are voting yabu, you aren’t at all! She absolutely stole your thunder, it was not her news to tell and she should never have been told in the first place.

Poopeepoopee · 30/07/2025 22:31

Someone in the maternity unit told a stranger on the phone that you've just had a baby? And told them the sex as well?

OCDmama · 30/07/2025 22:31

Yanbu. And the hospital shouldn't have been giving out your medical details.

VashtaNerada · 30/07/2025 22:30

I mean, you obviously are BU because it was so long ago but I do completely understand your frustration. I think I would feel the same way (and I would also probably still be fuming 23 years later as well!)

Springadorable · 30/07/2025 22:29

But presumably they knew you were pregnant and about to have a baby? So the birth wasn't exactly a surprise? If they were going to be proud it would have been over how you raised their grandchild, not over how you managed to dial their number into a phone. You really really need to let this go.

TesChique · 30/07/2025 22:29

YANBU