MIL stole my thunder

I wonder what other stunts she’s pulled over the years! This type of personality likes to be first and blow anyone else’s feelings.

What she did was beyond the pale, to take it upon herself to be the informant, no wonder this still rankles.

Yanbu to be pissed off at the time.
Yabu to think about it 23 years later. Life is short. Let it go!

You should have been furious with the hospital for giving out private medical information to a non relative.
But yes it was either extremely insensitive of her to A, think you wouldn’t want to tell them and B, to think your mum would want to hear it from your mil. Or she did it as a power play

Another one who is confused as to why a hospital would give out that information.

sure it wasn’t your dh rang them first?

tbh though if I were your parents I’d have pretended for your sake I didn’t know and made a big fuss.

YANBU

Hospital should never have given out your medical information.

MIL was wrong to break the news to your parents. I’m sorry you had that moment stolen from you. Although on the positive side it’s great that your MIL had a relationship with your mum and had her phone number.

After 23 years you need to let this go for your own well being. Your OP reads like a person with low self esteem. I hope your parents are still living. If they are, ask them to tell you what moments made them proud of you. You need the people around you to build you up.

🤭🤭🤭

@vivazeboo where are you located? I find it really odd that a hospital would give personal information to a random on a phone (anyone could ring up claiming they were anyone). And if this were actually the case, that you did not deal with this aspect at the time, or did you lodge and a complaint?

Not to me hence my comment.

@vivazeboo what a bitch!😉

"I've never been able to let it go..that baby is 23 now ha!" 🤣

DH has 2 sisters, one is lovely and the other is a weapon. The weapon had her 2nd baby 3 days before I had my second baby so we were both in the hospital at the same time and she was in a room opposite the room I was in.

I'd given birth at lunchtime and when FIL came in to visit that evening to meet my baby he visit the weapon in her room then she brought him up to the nursery to see my baby without even checking with me if it was ok.

FIL popped back to my room and said the weapon had brought him to see my baby. Both DH and myself felt gutted that we weren't the ones to introduce our new baby to his grandad.

@vivazeboo Hospitals do not normally give that detail to anyone who isn't next of kin. Confidentiality and all that. Unless you're not in UK?

ah come on. you know full well that telling your parents that you had a baby is very different from your MIL telling your parents you had a baby before you had a chance to call them.

Why are you saying anything about a surprise - it was never going to be a surprise. It was the moment of telling her parents.

Presumably she knew you were pregnant so telling them you gave birth wouldn't have been too much of a surprise.

I think that would have spoiled it for your parents too. You are definitely not being unreasonable.

I’d probably be more upset that your MIL had the absolute nerve to ring the hospital to dig for info and that they told her! That’s so rude and ridiculous of her that she couldn’t just wait for you to let her know in your own time. Ergh.

I can see why you were upset.

I'd be fucking cross at the unit too for telling any random person who called up that you had given birth.

My SIL did that on Facebook announcing my second baby’s birth before I had. I had been keeping the sex and name a secret. I was fuming. She’s no longer on my Facebook thank goodness.

😆😅😂

Yanbu.

She was unreasonable to do that and I can see why it would upset you though it's not clear if it was intentional or not. What's your relationship with MIL been like since then? Was this a one off thing she did or was it one of a number of things she has done to you?

Having said that I see a bigger issue with the way you felt that you had never done anything to make your parents proud and the need for to get their validation and pride after giving birth, I think that points to some underlying issues between you and your parents that goes beyond what MIL did.

Given it still upsets you so much 23 years later, do you still feel you haven't done anything to make your parents proud since then?

Yanbu.

I remember when I was in hospital after having DC2, it was Christmas Day, dc1 was 3 and it was his first Christmas with an understanding of what was going on and Father Christmas etc. I was gutted to be missing him open his presents, in laws were visiting to help and i asked mil if she could just bring one of his presents (that I had bought) up to the hospital so I could see him open one thing when they all came up to visit.
They arrived and I asked her where it was so I could give it him. She’d already let him open it. I was so disappointed.

MIL is a really nice lady, she didn’t mean anything by it so I didn’t say anything but even though it’s 11 years later and I’ve seen him open countless presents since then, it still makes me cross to think about.

A bit late doing that now - 23 years after the event

Oh, that stings a lot.
I'd be irritated 23 years later.

I know it's been 23 years but fuck no yanbu. I don't think I could have gotten past that. Your poor mum hearing about it from your MIL too! Nasty woman.

A 23 year gap between sprogs would be most unusual. I'm sure the next one will be a surprise to everyone