MIL stole my thunder

Of course you don’t steal anyone else’s birth announcement, really not okay for the MIL to do that. I suppose it’s possible she was just an over excited first time grandparent and hadn’t thought it through properly. I’m curious to know if this is representative of her normal behaviour or completely out of character. That would make a big difference to how I felt about it. If she’s normally lovely but made a mistake in her excitement I’d get over it reasonably easily I think. If she’s always doing stuff like this I’d be pissed of at her.

Your MIL was completely out of order phoning your parents and telling them the news about their new grandchild. I'm surprised that the hospital would provide that information over the phone as she could have been anyone.

I presume that she is normally overbearing and pushes boundaries a lot?

I'm thinking all the MN MiL must be away on holiday (selfishly avoiding childcare) if in the absence of new material we're going back 23 years.

Firstly, ynbu it’s special news to share so can see why you felt deflated that it’d already been shared. But I also think hearing the news from you is completely different than hearing it from mil? I kind of think your mum’s reaction would’ve massively changed how you felt about this. Did she literally say ‘yeah I already know’? Because that’s a bit shit. With my own daughter, I’d be excited to hear it from her, excited to hear her excitement and how she was doing. Happy to tell her how proud I was and how excited to see them both. I’m not sure I’d even mention mil call as does feel a bit like raining on your parade.

Did your mum know you’d gone into labour? When a close family member goes into labour it can be an anxious wait for updates, you just want to know that they (and baby) are ok. Maybe your mum/mil has gone back and forth seeing if the other has heard any news and your mil decides to ring? Then let your mum know that you and baby were ok/safe and well. I can still understand why it bothered/ bothers you but (without knowing her) don’t think mil was necessarily trying to steal your thunder or coming from a bad place.

How was it introducing your son to your parents the very first time? Hopefully that (and the following 23yrs) have plenty of other special moments to remember.

Maybe MIL called the hospital because she was worried she hadn’t heard anything? Sounds like quite a traumatic birth for OP so maybe took a while. Perhaps she thought the OPs Mum would also have been worried.

I honestly couldn’t get too worked up about this.

Are you the MIL or her friend? MIL sounds insane and I’m surprised the hospital told her about the baby.

This

A long time ago. My dm gave birth and her dsister called the ward and found out my dm had her baby and what it was and told everyone before my dm had a chance to . She was upset and the hospital should never have done that . I don't think that it would happen today . This was 30 years ago .

Let it go

It is annoying but definitely time to forgive and forget. This might be more about your relationship with your parents than your MIL. Are you sure it wasn’t your DH who told your MIL, rather than the hospital?

I’m in the same camp. I didn’t tell anyone.

OP, it’s 23 years ago, let it go.

They probably did 23yrs ago. Probably just said delivered safely. Probably wouldn’t now.

Fine to be annoyed about that. It was your news to deliver and MIL had no right to phone, and definitely no right to ring your parents. But it’s time to let it go.

The hospital was mostly at fault.
Are you sure your dh didn’t tell his dm?

After I gave birth, at 7.45pm I had to wait for a doctor to stitch me up and then dh and I sat quietly cuddling our newborn so by the time we rang family ( no mobiles this was 30 years ago) it was after 10pm. Mil told dh that he’d got them out of bed and he should have rung sooner. You can’t please some folk. 😂

My mum did similar with my DS and stole our thunder. I’ve never forgotten it either. She has serious main character syndrome and hates it when someone else is getting the attention. It’s why don’t tell her anything anymore until I’ve told everyone else first. You have my sympathies. Sometimes these people need to be actively managed or they insert themselves into the centre of your lives.

No

So I'm not a high achiever, never really done anything to make my parents proud.

I feel this is the much larger issue than anything your MiL did 23 years ago. And the fact that you're still stewing over it fully 2 decades on suggests you continue to feel this way about yourself, which is sad.

Good God. You must’ve had a lovely, problem free existence if this is still bothering you after 23 years.

It can’t be good for your mental health to still be fretting over this non problem.

As I point out on all these posts, you’ll all be MILs one day and you’d better pray that your future DILs aren’t as petty and vengeful.

THIS!

Do hospitals really give out birth announcements over the phone?

Do hospitals really give out birth announcements over the phone?

HRTFT. Absolutely she was unreasonableif she dit it deliberately, but perhaps she isn't as bad as you think. I have 3 DC, one aged thirty and two not far from your DC's age. There's no way the hospital should have given out that information on the phone. My anger would have been directed at them.
Maybe because the the hospital told her (are you sure DH didn't ring her?), she assumed DM already knew. When my eldest was born a phone was wheeled straight in and we had mobiles by the time 2&3 came into the world. DH had told my DM within ten minutes of each birth, then MIL next. If the hospital told her, she could easily have assumed your DM knew. She could have simply been calling to congratulate your parents, not realising she was telling them.
I was in the delivery room for quite a long time after DC1 was born. My parents lived very close by and arrived quickly to visit. They saw DC in there. MIL arrived shortly afterwards but was told to wait until we were sent to the post-natal ward. She never saw my parents.
MIL was the reason the stereotype exists. My parents were the opposite. She made a point of telling me she knew she'd be the first GP to hold him, that she'd been ready to leave home to make sure she was. She said to me my parents couldn't be that bothered if they hadnt come to visit us straight away, especially as they lived sobclosy by. She was apoplectic when she found out DP had been and gone and that they'd been allowed into the delivery suite while she was waiting in a visitor's room.
My DF died before DC2&3 were born. That's a different level of sadness, knowing you can never tell them.

My daughter is 17 btw.

I do get it, OP, my SIL told my best friend I was pregnant before I’d had a chance too and even now it pisses me off when I think about it. What I would say is I don’t think about it very much - I’d say your not BU with a tiny side dish of YBU 😉

After reading this thread I realise I'm the odd one out but I don't think I told anyone about the birth of my kids, not in the days after it happened anyway. I was busy processing what had just happened to me and being with a new baby - I left their father and the grapevine to take care of everything else. It was before social media was prolific so to this day I wouldn't have a clue who found out from whom TBH.