To be so fed up of people assuming I’m going to have breast reconstruction

I think bilateral mastectomy is offered, but it depends on the local hospital and the surgeon. I had right breast removed after cancer diagnosis by a lovely female surgeon. I asked about left breast removal and she agreed without hesitation. I'm in North Wales and here it's called "therapeutic mastectomy". I had to have a consultation with a psychologist, which is standard for the removal of healthy tissue for psychological reasons. Left breast was removed after 12 months on the waiting list. I was very grateful for this and totally understand priority should be given to surgery for women with active cancer. I'm now totally flat and very happy! I have prostheses for if I ever want more shape but I never use them, I'm happy with how i look.

No one should be commenting or judging on a woman's choice to have reconstruction or not.

I do wonder though, if the NHS offered immediate reconstruction whether women would make a different choice. I had a single mastectomy but it was done privately and I was offered immediate reconstruction. So I woke up from the surgery with an implant already in place. No further surgery needed, no issues with skin having to be stretched or scar tissue dealt with. It was all done in one fairly quick surgery and minimal pain.

I'm in two minds whether to have the same done on the other side. My insurance won't cover it but my surgeon said she could justify it on the NHS. My cancer was very difficult to diagnose (mammogram and ultrasound showed nothing wrong) so I'm left with a lot of anxiety about it retuning and not being diagnosed in time.

I am gob smacked people even ask or comment. I have had 2 friends have mastectomies and they volunteered that they had no reconstruction. I would never have asked. One does wear small prosthetics in a special bra. She just wanted to share that.

My mil had one breast removed and never had reconstruction. Why put yourself through extra surgery if you dont want to? Just tell people to sod off

Thank you so much for posting this. My daughter is about to have a mastectomy and has no intention of undergoing further surgery just so that she looks 'normal'. She's also embracing the buzz cut look following months of chemo and I am so proud of her determination to accept her new reality.

For the poster that asked, the nhs will do a masectomy on remaining breast, you just have to argue it a bit. They won’t do it at same time as initial masectomy because 1) they want you to basically “prove” it’s what you want and not do it when you are still reeling from cancer diagnosis and 2) it would make the surgery longer and they need those time slots for other urgent patients oh and 3) you’d take longer to recover and if you have cancer a quicker recovery is important if chemo is on your todo list.

But they will do it at a later date if you ask, as long as you say it’s because you want symmetry and you understand it will not prevent the cancer you’ve already had coming back. Many NHS truets won’t do it if you say it’s for cancer prevention , which is bonkers to me but there you go.

Please ask to be referred it’s a totally reasonable request and you shouldn’t have to go private- although I understand if someone would chose to rather than putting up with the nhs’ stupid gate keeping.

Contary to that, for those of you who did go private how much did it cost?

also massive shout out to flat friends- join us on Facebook it’s an amazing group!

Oh thank you. Can’t wait: an end to decades of quiet worry 😊

Awww, that's good to hear. That we've made you feel a bit better. ❤

Thank you. Hope it goes well for you.

I think you made a good choice op. It’s very surprising that even breast surgeons can have the view that reconstruction is the best thing. I was helping my mum decide - her priority was to get recovered from surgery quickly without problems etc - and the surgery without reconstruction is the best for this so I told my mum that not having reconstruction was her best plan in my opinion - surgeon said to my face that I had no respect for my mum’s quality of life because she would be depressed with having one side flat. I was gobsmacked. My mum went ahead with going flat and never regretted it. Our society is obsessed with all of us looking like Barbie.

Sorry, pressed post too soon! A private hospital in Perth (Scotland, not Australia. We’re retiring here.)

Yes, they will.

Thank you for being unapologetically yourself Op. Never change because of society being stupid. I’d say I cannot believe people would ask you that question but unfortunately I’ve met many morons in my lifetime so I do believe you.

will they do the second mastectomy even if you pay? I would be really interested if you know already where/with whom you plan on having the operation

my mum had a mastectomy and wanted both sides done but they wouldn’t. This was despite one side having a big cancerous tumour (mastectomy done) and the other side having a tiny one (would only do lumpectomy - she wanted both gone).

my mum also doesn’t wear the prosthetic - finds it a nuisance. Nobody has commented.

But who cares, I look great and I'm certain you will too. You can carry anything with confidence.

OP my sympathies. I feel the same way about my hair. I'll be keeping it buzz cut from now on, or at least for the foreseeable. People can't wrap their head around it.

This is correct. It's not up to you. I was very keen to but unless you have the gene they won't do it as standard. @Nearly50omg I can't tell you about private.

This. My breast nurse actually said “sorry, we don’t do buy one get one free, it’s not Tesco”.

I was in absolute shock so just nodded.

How gobsmackingly fucking awful was that?!

I had my first mammogram at 30, with my baby on my lap. Had countless others since and know that before 70 I’ll probably have to have the other removed. I’m large breasted and verycysty. If they’d taken them both in 2016, would have saved the NHS many thousands.

But hey, I’m only a lumpy, large breasted woman. What do I know?

I'm so pleased you've got through your illness.
My friend has just had a double mastectomy for her breast cancer. I would never have asked or pressed on what she wanted to do though. She chose to tell me. I hope people stop asking such things.

I guess as time goes on it will stop being a topic to other people. Everyone's decision about their breasts is the right one. And nobody should judge or imply you should do anything different.

I wish you continued good health x

I wouldn’t have breast reconstruction either. I have an obvious health issue with my face and it some how makes you public property, people seem to feel to comment offer suggestions. It is very annoying even they don’t mean it nastily.

I’m sorry, that must be so annoying. My aunt had to have a mastectomy and the fake one they gave her for appearances was heavy, sweaty and itchy. She ended up asking to have the other one removed and due to her weight and shape now has the appearance of A cups instead of her former Ks. I don’t think she gives a flying fuck how she looks now, she happily flashes her survivor scars at anyone who expresses the slightest interest.

Well done for getting through it all, you’re amazing!

I have no breasts. I had a mx 15 years ago then another 2 years ago so now nothing. I did wear a prosthesis until I had the other mx.
2 years on its brilliant no bra it's great.
If you want some support come and join Flat friends on FB. It's amazing!
I'm now a regional coordinator for my county and we have monthly meet ups.
It's awesome community of fellow fatties or uniboobers.

Your body, your choice. My friend's mother has just had her second mastectomy (20 years apart) and jokes that she no longer feels lopsided. She refused reconstruction on both occasions and her medical team were very supportive.

My friend had a reconstruction which had to be replaced years later and having seen what she went through I would never go for that.