To cut holiday short

You have told them you are not doing the other trips later in the summer. You absolutely have to go through with this threat even if you are regretting saying it now.

They literally will not care!
6 and 4 happy to stay home go to park
Something immediate if really necessary.

This sounds relatively normal behaviour to me, and as others have suggested you need to pick your battles. But I also felt quite exhausted by everything you listed, the coming and going all day. It's possible that they are also tired, it's a lot for them to take in, and need a slow day with one scheduled activity at most.

As for the teasing, I'd usually completely ignore it and try distraction techniques.

At sounds to me that at no point have you stopped and given them a massive bollocking.

no wonder you are exhausted you have set yourself up as police, catering, care and entertainment coordinator and have high expectations leading to disappointment.

For your own benefit try to calm this down. I bet they hear do this do that do the other all the time and then hear nothing it’s just noise in the end and exhausting you. Lower your instructions and your expectation for entertainment, one activity a day is plenty.

Start by saying eg with we will get ice cream today and play at the park then keep it neutral lots of praise lots of distraction eg count the birds you can spot on the way to breakfast, one rucksack, one child in each hand, one ice cream each, one happy photo before everyone is overwhelmed, dirty and naughty, low demand everything except zero tolerance for elder child teasing, any teasing he has to hold your hand and sit quietly for two minutes, just have free play in safe place in the afternoons. Don’t get involved in debates and pressure from the kids just say eg DC says I want to swim too after the park just say oooh yes it would be great to swim today as well I can imagine that would be a lot of fun and we’d do this and that and you would be a great swimmer we’ll do that another day soon

sleep the most important part for all, low demand about getting ready for bed just into bed with clean teeth and tomorrow is another day 😊

Sounds like a stern talking to is needed especially to the 6yr old. You're the parent - they listen to you.

I find if we stay in the house they get restless and every little thing niggles them and they bicker more so I go out as much as i can. There's more to occupy them and keep them distracted from bickering with each other. It's better for them to be running about in a park screaming at the top of their voice than in the house.

If they start the he done that last time, i want to do it this time type of conversation these get shut down straight away. I can't be doing with that type of nonsense.

Different strokes I would have hated this as would my DCs why would you go to Butlins to stay in bed unless ill ? My advice upthread was completely the opposite.

Don't do too many activities. They tens to want lots of down time.

The door handle just sounds like a huge novelty for the kids. Can't you let each of them go in separately - oldest first, then close the door and the youngest open it again? DS recently spent a year in Berlin for his year abroad at uni, we'd lived there when he was a very small child and I asked him what things he remembered from that time - it was the door mechanisms on the U-bahn and the bells on the trams! These are the sort of things that fascinate small boys. This may well be the first thing they tell people about when recounting the holiday back home or what they remember about it years later. Also, this may not work for you, but I always used to instigate an element of competition in the getting ready process - who can get their shoes on first, who can be standing by the door first ready to go out? My biggest take out is that you say your boys love it there so while it might not be the best holiday you've ever had, you are obviously doing something right.

Try to get the older one onside and talk to him like he and you are a team and how little ones can be annoying. Make sure there are lots of 'big boy' advantages for him and you two can eyeroll at baby behaviour. It can encourage him to leave the 'baby' alone. It works with mine and their little cousin.

My two (aged 4 and 7) were similar on holiday and it was so frustrating. I think it's the excitement plus heat plus sleeping in a strange place just sends them crazy.

We even had the spilling water at breakfast and winding each other up so I feel your pain.

I had to just lower my expectations of the holiday and let them spend time in the soft play for my own sanity.

Yes I thought this too. This behaviour needs to have a zero tolerance approach and be nipped in the bud now.

Consequences aren't for cancelling trips later in the summer, it's too far away for them to relate what the consequence is for. Kids are like dogs in that respect, you have to react immediately or else there's no point.

The op has to just power through grin and bear it and have a massive effort to work on boundaries once home.

I haven't read through all the replies so apologies if I have missed information.

Just wanted to say, I feel you! I have taken mine away solo the last two years (single parent) and it is hard.
Last week on holiday by Wednesday I did wonder if we should go home because it seemed ridiculous behaviour and overwhelming. Which helped me to see, it wasn't just me that was overwhelmed - my kids had been too by all the activities and entertainment!

From your original post I know you are on a dining plan so you need to do that but otherwise may see if you can have a day away from activities and entertainment? I am not sure where you are but if there is a beach nearby (and you think they would be safe) then both of mine were brilliant on the beach, much more settled and much happier with each other. Though I didn't have them running off so I can see it might not work for you!

If no beach, just walks and so on?

I also can understand taking the park away but then you have the frustration of being stuck in the flat and their energy levels just going up and up.

It's such a balance!

I hope you can get through the last few days and if not then don't feel bad if you have to come back early.

I'm not blaming either child particularly but I was the younger child continuously teased by the older child. It was relentless. There was no jealousy - it was because they could and they enjoyed it. I felt powerless and not protected by my mother. I misbehaved, then got punished. In later life I asked my mother why she hadn't dealt with it...she said it was because it was easier just to get on with it.
I often feel her lack of dealing with it spoilt my childhood and changed my personality.

You really need to stop your 6 year old. Severe punishments....it is not just teasing, it is bullying. How would you react if an older child at school was doing this to your DS and the school just paid lip service to it?

I would stay. But their behaviour sounds draining.
I think you need to have more consequences for the teasing. As for opening the door, it's either take it in turns without arguing or you are the only one who does it. If they won't put their shoes on, either make it into a game (who can put their shoes on before Mum? Not each other as it might start another argument!) If that doesn't work, settle down and do something for yourself inside (read a book if you have one) and say 'what a shame we can't go out today, no one is listening'.

You have told them you are not doing the other trips later in the summer. You absolutely have to go through with this threat even if you are regretting saying it now.
They need consequences for their behaviour that you see through. No empty threats at all.

Don’t say please, say thanks.
(So you’re not pleading with them, you’re thanking them in expectation of it being done).
e.g. “DS6 do your velcro straps up, thanks” in a pleasant, how lovely I can trust you to do this tone of voice. (Walk away and let him get on with it while you brush your teeth or something).
Learnt this trick as a teacher and it works nearly every time.

I feel your pain!!! And I think it is fairly normal and please don’t punish yourself. It’s a mixture of being out of usual routines/diff environment and over excitement. Do they have downtime apart? Can you pop them in different rooms with a game/colouring/tv etc so they have time apart?

id say also pick your battles. I don’t know one partner that follows through on all consequences (I’m sure someone will come along and at how perfect they are!!). It’s your break too so put their shoes on for them? Instead of telling off the teasing, ignore it and focus on the other one and find something to praise/give attention to. This may help your sanity a bit.

buy honestly - holidays with kids can be brutal and tiring. But like you say, they’ve still enjoyed some stuff!

for families with two adults it’s helpful to to split up some of the time so kids get time apart and some 1:1. But obviously you can’t do that.

do what you need to do to stay sane! Stay strong mama!!

It all sounds fairly run of the mill behaviour whilst challenging and no fun - not that you shouldn’t be dealing with it with consequences. I think it would be absolutely fine to come home.

I think a solo adult holiday with those ages is just really tough.

The one thing that jumped out at me is the amount of teasing because that’s really not on. Any kind of unkindness to siblings is the thing I take more seriously, and would be very firm about.

Edit - I do think a pp is right that they sound tired. The whinging is usually a sign of tiredness. Strangely I think having at least partial SC can be better for small kids as it gives them the chance for a bit of down time where they’re not being observed or “on”.

They sound tired. I think a self catering holiday might have been better as it seems they want to lounge around not be on a strict timetable on their holiday.
Can you write down all the positives of the holiday now ,ones that you are grateful for ? If there are any. This is what I try to do in my life when things don’t seem to be going well. It can pull you out of a certain way of thinking.

Apart from the getting lost! That sounds very worrying.

Me too, quite good even 😂

I bet the dad's been sat at home all week, feet up telly on.

So you recognise that the basic, long term problem is your parenting skills.

123 Magic has a huge following. It’s not difficult. I recommend you look into it with your dh. It will bring a common structure to you both and strengthen your own backbone in those struggles we all suffer.

And, of course, tomorrow is always a new day.

In your shoes at the moment with a 6YO. Lots of instances of bad behaviour and I found I was being very grumpy with them and I think it became a bit of a knock on effect. I have made a concerted effort to be more positive and things have improved a little. There is still quite a bit of bad behaviour but I'm hoping that will fade and things will go back to normal when we go home.

I think my irritation was worsening things.