To ask if you’d want your husband to remarry if you passed before him?

From a relationship point of view I’d want him to be happy and find love again but I honestly wouldn’t want him to marry because of the financial impact to DD. I believe he would do what’s right for her in terms of inheritance on his death and support while he is alive but would prefer that to not be at risk in anyway by the formation of a contract with a new woman. I acknowledge that that’s pretty selfish and unfair on him though and we have both made provisions for our assets to pass in part to DD directly on our deaths but the remainder that’s left to each other is not protected if he were to change his will after I died.

I was widowed when i was 40. We never really had the conversation. No kids so no inheritance to worry about.

It was an awful time and I said never again. To protect myself from going through that again I was never going to do it.

But I did. I married again. His pics are still up in the house and my second husband is not in the slightest bit bothered. His take on it is that I had a life before him. Hopefully I have many years ahead of me and gradually I realised that if I didn't move on, vile cancer would steal both of our lives.
How long is long enough? That depends entirely on the person left behind and no one else. Because when the door closes each night that's when it matters. For me it was a few years. For others it might me less. For others it might be more.

I don’t care, I’ll be dead 💀

I'd want my OH to marry again, but she'd have to be prepared to be a mother figure to our young children since the "I'm only the step-mum, the kids have their own mum" thing wouldn't work in this situation.

I think kids benefit from having two involved parents and, if I died while they were still little, I'd be more heartbroken to think of them going through life with only half the care and affection they were getting before than with having some other woman take my "place". If anyone was prepared to help raise my children in a loving home where they had everything they needed (i.e. fulfil my responsibilities when I could no longer do so myself), I'd like to think I'd be very grateful if I was looking down on them.

Some of you are really brutal about people moving on. I was widowed two years ago in my thirties and though we were hapoy for many years before, the marriage was bad at the end. Why should I have to be lonely for the best part of two decades. I’d use trusts to protect my kids money and listen to them and not push but being alone without a meaningful partner for me is heartbreakingly lonely. I hate it and had I died I wouldn’t have wished that for my husband. Just a really good person to love him and our children.

I know that DH would be unhappy on his own so yes, I’d like him to meet someone new. Our youngest turns 18 next autumn so hopefully our children would be independent enough to cope with a new partner.

Personally, if DH goes first I won’t be remarrying or living with someone again. I like being on my own!

I would tell him to find love again, give my blessing. That he doesn't deserve to be alone and its all ok..

Would I mean it? No. I know its the right thing to do and say. But in my heart of hearts id be bitter to die/be dying and someone else, another woman make my husband smile and watch my children grow.

I'd be dead so it wouldn't bother me. Whatever makes him happy!

My OH died in November 22. We knew he was dying and he told me to be happy and live life, I’m now 57 and I couldn’t think of being with anyone else. He was my one and only.

Yes, but my money woukd only go to him in trust for his lifetime, then to my kids.

I'd be dead, so wouldn't care.

It would depend on how old my kids were. I had an bitch stepmom and a parade of drunken abusive "uncles". NO way would I want that inflicted on my kids.

I've only seen one family that actually blended well.

My husband and I talked about it after we knew he was terminal but I wasn't big on the idea of remarrying or living with someone because of what I saw growing up. After he died, I found out how many users are out there who are all about their own financial gain and fuck them kids.

I wouldn't want him to marry because I want our house to go to our kids not some other woman.

I just don’t get this at all. Those I know who have stayed single (unless extremely old) have done so because their marriage was such hard work. IMO people who liked being married quite often want to do it again.

I don’t think he’d need the blessing of a dead woman. Yes, I’d expect him to try to find a partner again (unless he was ancient; I don’t think he’d bother). He’s not someone that would do well on his own. I don’t think he’d marry again as he’d probably not see the point later in life.

I on the other hand, would be single. I’m definitely one and done and no man would live up to him.

Absolutely not. He can have a girlfriend (but the idea of that actually makes me feel sick if I’m honest), but he ain’t marrying her. I don’t want someone else getting their hands on my kids inheritance. He doesn’t need anymore kids either. He’s always told me he wouldn’t remarry or get another girlfriend though because “anyone else would be a downgrade”. Not sure if he just tells me that to make me happy but if he does it works.

I'd like him to find a nice new partner, I think he'd be miserable and lonely on his own. But not to remarry as it could totally mess up what we want/intend our children to inherit. In fact we've promised each other (for what that's worth) that whichever one of us survives the other, we won't remarry for that exact reason.

I honestly don't mind what he does after I'm dead. There's no one who'd be greatly affected by remarriage - we don't have children.

I'm sure you are not a disappointment to anyone. Your post is sad. Hope you're okay
💐

I was diagnosed with metastatic cancer nearly two years ago and have had this conversation with my partner. I’d be fine with him meeting someone else.

Nope and I’d haunt him if he did.

I would want him to be happy and find someone else to share his life with. But no to marrying again, because of our children’s inheritance- we have had that conversation and agreed we wouldn’t marry again.

Absolutely. In my culture/religion it’s very much expected that both men and women remarry after the loss of a spouse.

Exactly this, because I won't have "passed", I will have died. Therefore, I will neither know nor care what he does.
He's a competent adult, so he'll be fine on his own, but if he wants to remarry then that'll do fine too.

Why? That’s really very selfish.