To ask if you’d want your husband to remarry if you passed before him?

What if the "major change" is also in the best interests of the children? Mine were tiny when my husband died, and even though it was a few years later, they were still very young when I got together with my new husband. Him coming into our lives has been a huge benefit for all of us. After we married he adopted my children. He is their father legally as well as practically, and they have two loving parents who love each other. What can be better than that?

I would expect DH to have another relationship and be happy but I wouldn’t want him to remarry. I want my money (which will go to him) to be protected so it eventually passes to our children and not his new partner.

Do you have kids, property? Any thoughts on protecting your half of things if you have kids should he marry again?

So many posters keep saying I'd be dead why would I care. Well, if you have kids they'd care if dad brought a girlfriend home 3months after your sad demise.

Yes, if he wanted to.

Id want him to be happy, and anyway, I’d be cold and dead so what would it matter what he did?

Of course I would want him to be happy, but not at the expense of DC's inheritance!

Both DC are adults now which makes it easier. Our main asset is the house so we have recently redone our Wills so that eg if I die first, my share of the house goes to the DC, but DH can live in it during his lifetime.

DH is a sociable chap and I wouldn't want him to live alone.

My SIL has been a right bitch since the first day we met. Breast cancer has understandably made it worse. My lovely BIL has had a tough marriage and a difficult few years with the illness. I really hope he will meet someone to enjoy his 50s with.

I've done 30 years with DH, I'll never take another bloke on. DH will inevitably move on to a younger model who will enjoy his DIY skills and ignore his lack of emotional bandwidth.

Sadly, it has happened many times.
I have 100's of threads over the years from the children of men people who remarried and their inheritance gets lost in the new marriage.
If you and your DH truly want to protect your DC assets, agree to both leave 50% of your assets directly to the children in a trust, should the worst happen.

Without a doubt I'd want him to find love again. He always says he wouldn't, because no one would live up to me, but I don't think he'd be happy single forever.

It would need to be someone who really loved our dc though if they were still a minor.

I actually had a dream once that I died, but before I did I told DH exactly who his second wife should be (and it's someone we know in real life! I told him and he didn't sound keen!)

I’d want him to remarry, but would prefer he waited until I went cold first! I’d want him to be very mindful of our kids feelings.

Yes. My DH is what used to be called "the marrying kind". He functions best when he's part of a couple, and I have no doubt that he'd be holding auditions for my replacement, with my blessing, before I was cold.

I don't intend to remarry if DH predeceases me. I'm also good at being married and DH is the centre of my world, but starting over again with an old man sounds like more bother than it's worth, and most widowed/divorced men in their fifties and sixties are supposedly looking for women in their twenties rather than women of their own age.

I see this from multiple viewpoints. My DF remarried when I was 21 and his second marriage has been much happier for him than his first. He's now 92 and living with dementia, looked after very lovingly by his second wife who has been married to him for almost 50 years. I have half-sibs I really don't know, but whom I would like to know much better. Very recently, his wife and I have started to email to stay in touch because he cannot have many years left. I am nearly 70, my half sibs are 50 plus, and none of them have met my child. He's never met his grandfather, and now isn't likely to.

We’ve discussed this and we both feel we won’t want to remarry (for different reasons). I think stability and no major changes for the child are more important than an adults ‘happiness’ in this situation (assuming the child isn’t an adult)

My mum died when I was 21 and my youngest brother was 5, Dad remarried a couple of years later then he died when I was 28. Mum let everything to Dad, Dad didn’t have a will so by default left everything to his new wife who has since remarried.

Write wills! Think about what would happen in a worst case scenario and who you want to inherit.

We've been a couple since we were in our twenties and we are now in our sixties. We don't have children. I would worry about leaving my DH and would want him to find a nice companion, though whether he would is another matter and it would be his decision. I know that for me, I would find it hard to adapt to having another man around, especially in my living space, all the time. It might be nice to have a gentleman friend to go out with, but actually move him in. . .I would balk at that.

Nope, we have kids and the money side of things will get messy.

I’d be quite happy for him to have a girlfriend but I wouldn’t want him to get married. I would want to be absolutely sure that ALL of our assets went to our kids and that there was no danger of any of it somehow going to a second wife.

I'd be an absolute hypocrite if I said no given he was a widow when we got together.

We've both said we don't care what the other does if we die as long as they do what makes them happy.

I know how he protected DS1 after his mummy died so I have no concerns he wouldn't be the same with our children as well.

But if he dies before me, no , I cannot stand the idea of another man, unless he is obviously rich, always away and totally dedicated to us with my daughter. I'm territorial

Am I dying at 30 or 80?

One thought in my mind would be if our DC would properly inherit what was supposed to be theirs, rather than it ending up with some stranger (and her family). I’m afraid some new partners are very persuasive.

I wouldn't care about him but I care about my daughter. So hypothetically the new woman must be rich, childless, great with my child, adopt her and my child inherit them both. Lol.

I’ve hopefully cured my H of any desire to share his life with another human. We’d both happily have more dogs.

No. I would not want to inflict my DH on any other woman. He has morphed into a grumpy old sod.

Of course. Although MN has taught me I better ensure DC get the house! 😁

People grieving a significant death can often change personality significantly the person you know now will likely not be the same person if you died