To ask if you’d want your husband to remarry if you passed before him?

A lot will think like this. Lot of truth in that post of JoBrandscleaner!

You're insane.

If your husband found a new relationship after you died he wouldn't be being unfaithful! Ever heard of the words "Till death us do part"?

That is mad.

Whatever makes him happy, life is for the living

I have a wonderful DH. We have both said that when one of us dies, we'd want the other to move on and find happiness and companionship again. The caveat is that we have agreed that whatever assets we have must be preserved for our DC and not for any subsequent partner or family. That's more of a concern for me, really, because the majority of our assets are from me and my family, so should only go to the children of our marriage.

I'd absolutely want my wife to find someone else. And I'm sure she easily could. But only when I'm dead!!

I'm a little less comfortable about my child calling someone else Daddy but... again ultimately only her happiness matters.

Most people think well you’re gone and that’s it, life goes on. But I feel a bit weird about it, I don’t think he should be unfaithful to me just because I’ve died 😄 it’s a double blow, something happened to me then he’s just gone off with someone else to add insult to injury?! I’ve got a 10 year old and wouldn’t want some woman living with him, I don’t believe in ‘step families’, I wouldn’t either mostly because of this. I’m convinced if there was a new man hanging around, he’d want my son out of the way, he’d fancy my daughter and he’d be after my money.

I want him to be happy. It’s not for me to control how he lives his life when I’m not there.

I'd want him to be happy and I'm fairly confident that no-one else would have him so he'll have to be happy on his own!

Wouldn't know, so wouldn't care!

As long as our adult DC's inheritance was protected I'd have no problem with him moving on, and I think he'd say the same thing.

Noooooo!
If he did I’d do a Blithe Spirit 😂
I’d want him to be miserable but he’d probably play golf every day and be joyful.

I would definitely prefer he had waited till I was dead before finding a new girlfriend.

I wouldn’t mind if DH remarried and even had more kids, just as long as our disabled son is looked after. I would absolutely not remarry. DH is my second husband and I would be overjoyed to be on my own with DS. My DH has lots of rich friends and all our money was his so he will have to decide what is best. If he married one of his wealthy spinster mates I wouldn’t mind! He has put up with me for years, he deserves some joy the poor man!

We’re both fairly ancient now. I wouldn’t mind him finding another partner, but I wouldn’t want him marrying anyone else, who could then exercise her right to a hefty whack of his assets, if he died first. Those assets are ultimately intended for our dds, nobody else.

And I know of a case where some gold-digging bitch got her claws into a man with early dementia, married him and got him to change his will entirely in her favour. And it was a substantial estate.
The mere thought of that gives me the horrors. I’d have to come back and haunt any such woman, scare the pants off her. 😈

You possibly, may remain so.

stayathomegardener
Can you tell me what kind of trust you have in place? Thanks.

Absolutely. He’s such a good guy someone else deserves him! As long as she’s a good person too

My husband died in 2012. He was 50 I was 48. We never discussed it. He had a brain tumour so was not the man I married for many years before his death. He was ill most of my children's childhood. Very hard.
I thought I'd never meet anyone and never thought I'd get married but 6 years on I was missing the companionship of a relationship and a good hug.
I met my now husband 7 years ago and we have been married for 3 years. He's a wonderful man and I realise how much I lost as someone whose husband was ill for 12 years of. 28 year relationship.

I tell him I'd want him to sit home crying forever but he knows I'd want him to be happy and I'm just joking.

Mine too. hug

My DH always used to talk about the man I'd meet next, if he went first: 'Fabio', an ambiguously European toyboy who would accompany me on luxurious travels to fabulous places (and, quite honestly, seemed like he'd be a bit too fabulous for middle-aged me to keep up with) - but of course DH's point was that he wanted me to have fun and be happy and carefree, not sit around being grief-stricken and miserable. If I had gone first I wouldn't have wanted him to be alone or unhappy even for a nanosecond. One example though which was a bit too far-out for me was a friend whose wife of 25 years, who'd always been the caretaker in the relationship, had a terminal disease. About a year before she died, she started a campaign for him to have a new partner already in place, and she invited several likely candidates to come and spend time with them so she could vet them. He actually tried to follow her instructions and got together with one of them, but it didn't work out - ironically, because he was grieving which didn't make for a great new relationship.

Which is YABU and which is YANBU?

In any case, you'll be dead what do you care? I mean if you were married to a Hindu in historical times and they died you got burned alive on the funeral pyre… shall we go back down that route?

What is the saying? “ women grieve,men replace”

I guess a man ,usually , has always had a woman in his life..mother then partner.

I wouldn't care, because I'd be dead