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Original poster

To ask if you’d want your husband to remarry if you passed before him?

262 replies

ForPeachDreamer · 30/07/2025 16:43

If you were to pass away before your husband, would you want him to remarry and find love again or would the idea make you uncomfortable? Some people say they’d want their spouse to be happy and not spend the rest of their life alone. Others feel the thought of being “replaced” is unsettling, even if they wouldn’t be around to see it.

I’m curious, do you have strong feelings about this? Would you give your blessing in advance or do you think some people move on too quickly?

OP posts:
ForZanyAquaViewer · 30/07/2025 16:55

Not fussed. I’d be dead. 🤣

If he did remarry, I’d strongly prefer for it to be after DC are adults, though. Ditto cohabiting. My mother was a stepmother, and the way she treated my siblings was truly vile. There are obviously lovely step-parents, but I just would prefer he not risk it. But, again, I’d be dead.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 30/07/2025 16:55

I'd like him to move on eventually, I'd hope he would support and concentrate on raising the children through grieving, education, every day things.
If the children were adults then I wouldn't mind him moving on sooner

stichguru · 30/07/2025 16:54

Whatever would make him happy. I don't think you know until it happens.

Wingedharpy · 30/07/2025 16:54

He beat me to it sadly😪

problemsinthemind · 30/07/2025 16:53

I’ll be very honest I wouldn’t want him to and the thought of it makes me upset

JMSA · 30/07/2025 16:53

Nope. I’d want his life to be a misery fest.
Disclaimer: I am single

nutbrownhare15 · 30/07/2025 16:52

I'd want him to be happy.

MaisyMary77 · 30/07/2025 16:52

I’d definitely want him to meet someone else and be happy. I wouldn’t want him to remarry though as I’d worry about the kids inheritance.

stayathomegardener · 30/07/2025 16:51

I would want DH to be happy but more importantly not targeted by anyone for his assets.
For that reason we have a trust in place which will at least protect 50% of assets for our DD.

PercyPigInAWig · 30/07/2025 16:51

DH and I were together many years before we had DC and I always said yes, definitely, please find someone new and be happy. Children complicate that though as I think blending families in general is difficult and when they have lost a parent even more so. I would expect him to prioritise DC over finding a new relationship. If I were widowed I wouldn’t be open to dating again while DC are young. I would also want to protect their inheritance so probably wouldn’t marry again even if they were older.

I suppose I’m all for people moving on and finding new love if only adults are involved.

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 30/07/2025 16:50

I'd want DP to find someone new. She'd be lonely by herself, she had a couple of nights on her own a few years ago when me and DD went away and she was going stir crazy by night 3. She'd loathe living alone.

She on the other hand would want me to stay single forever. She's said so, and she means it too. She's not been particularly impressed with either her Dad or my StepDad when they've started dating again after our Mums died. Sod that though, I've told her there's no way I'm living the rest of my life single should she pop her clogs.

CosyAutumn · 30/07/2025 16:48

I’d want him to be happy, whatever that might look like. If I had time before I died to have conversations about these things, I’d give my blessings and encouragement. My only stipulation would be that a new partner would be need to be kind, supportive, loving and empathetic towards our child.

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