To ask if you’d want your husband to remarry if you passed before him?

Yes. He's a naturally good husband and does better in a relationship.

I dont really care what he might do when im dead. I only care what he does when im alive.

My DH died of leukaemia just before his 29th birthday-he had a long, gruelling battle.

He told me repeatedly that he wanted me to marry and have DC (which we had been unable to do) and to live for both of us.
His life might be over but mine wasn't. This generosity of spirit let me go on to marry again and have children and a great life.

I think it can feel different if there are children in the mix etc and you are combining families.
There is no right answer and I really hate when ppl are judged for "moving on too quickly" etc because it looks and feels different to everyone.

I'd want her to be happy (though possibly not as happy as she is with me now!) I don't honestly think I would bother with another relationship if she went first because I can't imagine finding anyone else as lovely.

No but also yes. I'm not married right now but when I was married it wouldn't make me feel sad to think of my husband being married to somebody else when I was gone and I didn't like it but then conversely if I'm dead I doubt that I would actually care.

I think it's the ultimate irrelevant question, really -- you will be dead, and have no idea what your widower is likely to do, or any way of controlling whether he picks up widows galore at a weekend course for the newly-bereaved (as a friend's father did, within a month of his wife's death at 47), or marries your best friend within four months (as another friend's elderly father did).

I mean I don't like the thought of him being with someone else but I'll be dead, i won't exist and I won't care then 😂and of course I would want him to be happy

I'd hope he'd give it a few months rather than skipping merrily through the tulips soon afterwards. But, life is for the living. As long as he was happy.

Of course as long as it was years later, not weeks or months.

Only if it was right for our children and he protected them in case he passed before his new wife. I wouldn't want my children's inheritance to go to someone else and her children. So I'd like him to leave his share to our children instead of his wife

I would want my DH to be happy in
whatever form that took.

I’m sure that if I died he would find someone new. We have a very happy marriage and he’d look for that again.

We have adult DC so it’s less complicated now.
yes I’d want him to be happy and find someone else.
he wouldn’t love her as much as he loves me though.

My DH and have talked about this and both have said we give each other the blessing to meet someone else.

We love each other deeply and have an insanely good happy marriage, but ultimately if I go first and my DH is lonely and miserable and wants to find someone to share the rest of his days with, then he knows I would be happy for him to do that, and vice versa.

But I guess no-one knows truly how you will feel until it happens, and what you would want.

Ultimately, I would just want my DH to be happy and to not live out the rest of his days pining for me. I want him to find a way to live a content life for whatever time he has left, so however he finds that, is up to him.

I always joke that I’d haunt my dh but realistically I’d want him to do what’s best for him. I wouldn’t want him to spend the rest of his life lonely. My main stipulation would be our children and making sure he always puts them first. It would depend of the ages of our children.

Get a girlfriend and have her move into a house next door. I don’t want him to remarry or legally cohabitate because I want the money I have worked so hard to save to go to our child if there is anything left over at the end of his life.

I have no qualms about a new romantic relationship, but his sole economic partnership should be with me.

I would want my DH to be happy. I know that he’s likely to remarry.

I am absolutely certain that she would be much better than me in all ways, I’m generally a bit shit and I’m sure I’m a secret disappointment to him. I certainly disappoint myself.

I’d hope my children would remember me fondly but be happy with her too.

I would have no problem with him meeting and marrying again in due course, but I would worry a bit about the DC and how they would feel and if he could manage that well.

Young children definitely change the situation.
I'd hate anyone to feel resentful towards them for being alive.
It is confusing enough losing one parent without sharing the other.

If you love someone, you want them to be happy after you’ve gone.

DH and I have agreed we will not remarry. I’d love him to find happiness again, but marriage - nope.

I don’t think I’d ever even want to live with anyone ever again tbh.

Even with the way we’ve set up our wills and trusts in place, etc, we’ve both agreed we will never risk our DS’ inheritance going to anyone other than him by remarrying.

I would be dead, my opinion beyond the grave shouldn't stop anyone doing whatever they think is right for the family.
I think many rush into marrying again when there are children involved though. Date by all means, but losing a parent young is traumatic enough without another upheaval a couple of years later!

Yes I would have wanted him to - if he wanted to of course - and said so but he died six years ago. I wouldn't want to live with anyone again.

No not while our children are small. I'd hate the thought of being replaced in their world

Once the children are grown up, he can do what he likes.

If he were to die, I wouldn’t have a serious relationship while the children were still young.

Truthfully, no. We have discussed this, neither of us would want this. I don't see myself needing to marry again to be happy.