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Original poster

Wrong Underwear - I am Ungrateful

240 replies

FurlaMetropolis · 30/07/2025 12:43

DH loves buying mew underwear for Christmas and birthday, used to be a mix of Janet Reger and Ted Bker from Debenhams and best of M&S, now mainly Rosie from M&S and occasionally Autograph. For some weird reason, MIL does the same, which is weird and uncomfortable but that’s another story.

I guess he enjoys a bit of online browsing:-)

But now that I am in mid 40s, it’s not just about how it looks on a model, it has to work for me. My minimum requirements are very simple - padded, wired, not balcony, correct size. He manages to get all of it wrong and gets resentful if I ask if he has a receipt. I feel ungrateful and fussy.

Putting laundry away now, 3 packets in the wardrobe, expensive stuff, none of it is right. The bags only just been opened by him, sat in wardrobe for weeks, the return window will have passed my birthday. It’s over £100 of really nice sets. I feel like crying partly because greedily I feel robbed of birthday presents, partly frustrated by the repeat of Christmas and last year’s birthday. I almost don’t want to say anything as he will only get annoyed and does not listen anyway. No doubt MIL will bring more if the same…

OP posts:
Bananafofana · 30/07/2025 13:48

You should be the one doing a strop, not your DH.

FGS say something! Assertively and clearly and make it very plain that a bad reaction on his part reflects very poorly on him.

Richiewoo · 30/07/2025 13:46

Just tell them both to stop buying it for you.

PinkyFlamingo · 30/07/2025 13:46

I think if you feel you can't say anything to him about this without fear of him being annoyed then you have bigger problems in your relationship than him buying underwear.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 30/07/2025 13:42

godmum56 · 30/07/2025 13:41

A gift for you should not be what someone else loves to buy! Are you the poster whose Mil bought her saucy underwear because your partner told her he wants more sex?

🤮

CatHairEveryWhereNow · 30/07/2025 13:42

Have you tried being blunt - why are you buying me the wrong sized uncomfortable underware I will never wear - are you trying to upset me - some comment on my size or changing shape as I age ?

Then try and steer else where - you do need to make it his problem and show it's upsetting you not smooth everything over and simmer all year.

I try and avoid clothing items as presents - DH even with a link to correct size and colour can fuck up and somehow it's my fault Hmm- but yea had a few upsets with clothing and learnt to be blunt with DH at least.

MIL she bought me some hideous things and some lovely ones - I do tend to just say thank you there - but thankfully never strayed to underwear.

godmum56 · 30/07/2025 13:41

A gift for you should not be what someone else loves to buy! Are you the poster whose Mil bought her saucy underwear because your partner told her he wants more sex?

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 30/07/2025 13:39

God, I find it hard enough to buy bras for myself - I dread to think how anyone could possibly buy them for someone else! Size and fit varies so much from shop to shop...

I'd say it's his stropping that's the big problem here though. If he just bought you the wrong stuff and his reaction was 'whoops, I'll take it back, do you want something else or just a different size?' it would be one thing, but the whole 'I bought it, I chose it, you're rejecting ME' pathetic attitude would be an absolute fanny-clamper for me.

Maybe send him a list of things you'd like well in advance, tell hm to choose from that. If he doesn't then YOU can have a strop.

zanahoria · 30/07/2025 13:34

Ivy888 · 30/07/2025 13:31

But your MIL a thong, one of those with a string in the bum.

and for all the family

no other presents

Merry Pantsmas everyone!

zanahoria · 30/07/2025 13:33

Glitchymn1 · 30/07/2025 12:44

Tell them to stop buying your bloody pants and get your own.

nailed it

Ivy888 · 30/07/2025 13:31

But your MIL a thong, one of those with a string in the bum.

MakeMineADietCoke · 30/07/2025 13:30

Your mother in law buys you sexy underwear?

what?

Whatsitreallylike · 30/07/2025 13:30

Figcherry · 30/07/2025 12:45

Buy him expensive pants for his birthday in the wrong size.

This. Absolutely this.

jay55 · 30/07/2025 13:29

I’d be buying him tickets to my favourite show/event for his birthday, preferably for a day he can’t go.

LemondrizzleShark · 30/07/2025 13:29

Even if it’s outside of the returns window, he can probably get a credit note. Just hand it straight back to him, certainly don’t even contemplate wearing it on for him.

Autumnpug · 30/07/2025 13:29

Tell him to stop wasting money buying underwear that does not fit you .
What a man child getting upset about not wanting to give you a receipt

JoshLymanSwagger · 30/07/2025 13:29

Agapornis · 30/07/2025 13:26

I'd buy him some horrible fishnet boxers in the most uncomfortable size for his birthday (or just announce you got him a special gift), and see how he feels when he's not getting anything else. Make your mum buy him the same in a different colour.

Edit: obviously throw a hissy fit when he asks for the receipt

Edited

DH said that his plums would look like satsumas in that!
🤣

Devilsmommy · 30/07/2025 13:28

Tough shit to him getting annoyed about it. It's not your fault he doesn't care enough to get you the right size and style. Guarantee your being comfortable wasn't even on the list of why he got the underwear. Tell him to stop buying your underwear, you'd rather just do it yourself so you at least know you'll have the right stuff. Oh and tell him sulking because he got it completely wrong isn't attractive at all🙄

JustMyView13 · 30/07/2025 13:26

It’s not a thoughtful gift, if no thought has gone into selecting items that will fit / or making provisions to return & replace items that do not.
Why bother at all if you don’t care whether the gift is useful to the recipient.

Beeayenayenayen · 30/07/2025 13:26

Shuddering at the thought of my MIL buying my underwear

Agapornis · 30/07/2025 13:26

I'd buy him some horrible fishnet boxers in the most uncomfortable size for his birthday (or just announce you got him a special gift), and see how he feels when he's not getting anything else. Make your mum buy him the same in a different colour.

Edit: obviously throw a hissy fit when he asks for the receipt

Wrong Underwear - I am Ungrateful
MageQueen · 30/07/2025 13:25

This is so icky. I've never actually understood the man-buys-underwear-for-women thing - it certainly doesn't feel like a treat for a woman - but putting that aside, any gift he buys you that doesn't fit or suit you, whether that's a bra, a new coat or a pair of shoes, is one that he should WANT you to exchange for one that does fit.

So his bad mood about this, combined with the weirdness of your MIL buying you underwear, makes me think that there is something far more serious going on here.

Judiezones · 30/07/2025 13:23

Does it fit him?

Starling7 · 30/07/2025 13:22

KarmenPQZ · 30/07/2025 12:55

Is there much of a market in vinted for it if they’re nice sets with labels still on?

Edited

That's a great idea - eBay is far better to sell on though.

DiscoBob · 30/07/2025 13:21

Start buying him microscopic budgie smugglers or a Borat style mankini.

Suffolker · 30/07/2025 13:21

Figcherry · 30/07/2025 12:45

Buy him expensive pants for his birthday in the wrong size.

Make sure they are particularly uncomfortable too!